Alice was constantly retreating into humor rather than talking to Dana
about more difficult subjects. Dana knew she was guilty of it too but
she was sure Alice was more so.

Dr. Rudnick continued to smile at the brunette, watching her run thru a
whole progression of thoughts. She thought again what a wonderfully
expressive face Dana had.

She had learned early on to be patient with the athlete. If you asked
her what she was feeling about a particular situation she usually began
by insisting she didn’t know how she felt. That was very rarely the
case. You just had to give her time to access the answer.

“Alice is seeing someone,” Dana revealed. The older woman looked at her
expectantly, her face neutral. “Of course that is not why I had a good
week,” Dana laughed. “It wasn’t that great a week, I guess,” Dana
amended.

She sat back in one of Dr. Rudnick’s wonderfully cozy chairs, settling into their session.

“It’s funny. My whole professional life, I’ve worked to reach
this level, thinking I could relax a little when I got here. My new
ranking assures better seeds. I don’t have to constantly qualify for
tournaments. I’m invited, so I can just show up and play without all
the worrying beforehand,” she explained.

‘I thought when I won the French Open that things would be easier. Instead I just have new things to worry about.”

Dr. Rudnick encouraged her, “What kind of things?”

“Stupid stuff mostly, things beyond my control. Politics. Issues to do
with sponsors and other players. But mostly, visibility,” she paused
and looked at her therapist, embarrassed.

“All of a sudden, I’m famous,” she blurted finally. She shook her head, still surprised by this surreal turn in her life.

“It’s hard to be recognized so often. Growing up all I wanted was to be
Chris Evert. And now, I may not be Chris Evert, but I am ‘Dana
Fairbanks’ and I think I enjoyed it for about 2 months,” she admitted.
She sighed and laughed, “Poor, poor Dana.”

“What part of being recognized don’t you enjoy, Dana?”

“That you can’t turn it off and on?” the tennis player joked. “I miss my old life,” she added simply.

“I don’t like being stared at, or approached when I’m having
coffee with my friends. I don’t like not knowing why people like me. I
hate that my old friends are uncomfortable with it and feeling like
it’s my fault when we get interrupted.”

“Are you talking about Alice?”

“All of them, I don’t blame them, it sucks. But I either have to be
rude to fans or rude to my friends and it’s a tough position to be in
often.

Alice can actually be quite great about it- some kid wants my autograph
and she’s a teddy bear- but she gets pretty snippy about being
interrupted by a tennis groupie.”

If Stella Rudnick was unfamiliar with ‘tennis groupies’, she didn’t let
on. “Did you have some issues this week with visibility?”

She asked.

Dana thought about it. “Not really, it just feels like more and more my worlds are starting to mix together,” she fretted.

“That’s how I look at my life,” she laughed at the realization.
“It’s like I have my world apart from tennis that is my real life with
my real friends.”

“Then I have my tennis world which has always been separate. My friends
come to tournaments but really tennis is a whole other ‘Dana
Fairbanks’. A huge chunk of my time is spent training, watching film,
competing- all pretty much on my own.

My friends, and yes, Alice, have been incredibly supportive, it’s just
that no one can have that experience with you It’s hard to explain,”
she frowned.

“But now that your life has become more public, you find that your worlds are mixing together?” prompted the therapist quietly.

“Yeah,” Dana nodded

“And you don’t like that?” inquired the therapist.

Dana shrugged, “It’s just hard. The tennis stuff is crazy and I can’t
go forget about it at home. And the home stuff is crazier and I can’t
just go lose myself in tennis. Everything has changed. And Alice” she
trailed off, her eyes watering.

“Alice is seeing someone,” Stella finished for her with a smile. Dana had a habit of burying the lead.

TBC