“Oh. Okay, I guess I was hoping you’d just tell me what Dana has said,” Alice joked.

Stella laughed appreciatively, “I can see where you and Dana would get along.”

“Why don’t you tell me what you hope to gain from these visits, Alice?”

Alice thought for a moment, fighting the urge to ask what Dana had wanted.

“I want to understand what happened,” she began slowly.

“I want to get back the fun and the laughing. I want to be relaxed
around each other. I want to talk about everything and nothing. I want
Dana to trust me again.

“Trust you to what?” Stella stopped her.

Alice considered that. She was horrified to feel her eyes well up already.

“Pick one,” she said in a tight voice.

“Trust me to trust her. Trust me not to completely abandon her when
things get tough Trust me not to withdraw and then become some creepy
stranger?” Alice’s tone grew progressively angry with herself.

“You said you want to laugh with Dana again, to have fun; so there were
times when you were at ease in each other’s company?” she asked Alice.

Alice smiled at the understatement.

“Doc. There isn’t a man or a woman on this planet I’ve felt more at
ease, more in my own skin with than Dana Fairbanks. Dana and I could
have fun watching grass grow.”

Stella smiled again at the journalist. She was privately relieved to
find herself liking Alice. She adored Dana and she had wanted to like
this woman who meant so much to her.

“But you aren’t at ease with each other now?”

“Not unless we’re asleep,” Alice muttered.

The therapist gave her a small smile acknowledging the sleepovers.

“When did trust first become an issue between you?”

“When Lara showed up,” Alice replied dully.

“You didn’t trust Lara, or you didn’t trust Dana?”

“They weren’t the problem, I was. The moment I saw Lara, I gave up. I absolutely gave up on us,” she marveled, ignoring the tears streaming down her face.

“I don’t remember being afraid that Lara would come between us so much
as feeling totally gutted because it was over between Dana and me. I
completely through in the towel before Lara had even left the table.
Everything after that was going thru the motions.” She smiled brightly
at Stella. “Pathetic, huh?”

The therapist waited.

“I don’t know where this is coming from,” Alice laughed nervously. “Is it these chairs?” she joked.

“You’ve had a lot of time to think about this and you’ve given it a lot
of thought. You’re just putting your thoughts together in a way that
makes sense to you.”

Dr. Rudnick smiled at Alice and patted her on the knee,

“Now,” she said in an affected voice, “Tell me about your mother.” Alice laughed, grinning at the doctor.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Partially,” Stella admitted. “What I would like to hear from you is
what relationships or history you think might be relevant to why you
were so sure your lover and best friend would betray you at the first
invitation?”

“Oh, that,” Alice nodded.

TBC