Was it *****? Had she pushed Dana too far with the games and toys they used during *****? But she never asked anything Dana wasn’t willing to do. And towards the end Dana was even instigating; she too seemed to enjoy the games they played. It thrilled Alice watching her nave friend and lover become more assured about her sexuality.

Alice didn’t understand what she had done wrong.

Though Alice knew Lara was a good lover in her own right by the few conversations she and Dana had when Lara and Dana were dating the first time. Dana didn’t understand a lot of what was going on with Lara and Alice knew Dana’s sexual maturity came while they were together, not while she was with Lara.

No it couldn’t have been a sexual problem. Alice just didn’t understand.

Alice thought back to the many conversations they had toward the end. Had she said something wrong? Was she too needy, too clingy? But Dana always reassured her she hadn’t or she wasn’t, and yet she still broke up with her.

Alice just didn’t understand, didn’t Dana say she was right there? Wasn’t that yesterday?

Love, could it be Dana was in love with Lara? Alice didn’t think so. All their friends thought she and Dana had the kind of love you only find once in your life time. Shane even told her when she asked; that you could tell Dana love her. Yet Dana was with Lara, so maybe Dana didn’t love her after all.

Alice guessed she would never know because Dana never really said.

Alice picked up her laptop pretending to work, she hated the fact that she was watching them out of the corner of her eye, laughing and talking. They looked happy.

Alice thought back to when it was them laughing, wasn’t that just yesterday. It was so simple then. Now all Alice felt was sadness and darkness. It was like there was a shadow always hanging over her. Her Doctor called it depression. Alice called it sadness.

Alice longed for the happier yesterdays.

Alice didn’t know pain and sadness felt the same. Though she was walking around in an antidepressant haze, she had the consistent ache in her heart. She use to think the old saying about have a broken heart was clich, almost silly sounding. Well that was until she truly felt what a broken heart felt like.

When she thought back to the times when Gabby broke up with her, thinking how she thought that was a broken heart. Now she knows it wasn’t, it was hurt feelings, maybe even a little hurt pride but not a broken heart. Now that Alice has felt what a broken heart feels like, she will always remember the difference.

Alice longed for days when she didn’t. Wasn’t that just yesterday?

What she knew today was broken heart hurt everywhere, from deep inside your brain to the ache in your heart. It affected your lungs, making it hard to breathe when you thought about the one you lost. A broken heart affected your limbs, making it hard to get up in the morning and continue with life.

Yes Alice now knew what a broken heart felt like and she knew she would never feel this pain again because she would never love anyone the way she love Dana.

How she wished it was yesterday when Dana still loved her.

Alice gathered up her things, just needing to get out, to go away. You might say to hide away. As she walked out the door she took one more quick glance, remembering, when it was her and Dana that were in love, what seemed like only yesterday.

Alice believed in yesterday.

The End