She looked so peaceful. Carmen never saw her like this. She snuggled closer to her girlfriend and put the blanket over Shane’s shoulder. A small smile appeared on Shane’s face.

“Hey, you are awake,” Carmen whispered.

“Not really,” Shane mumbled and stretched her body.

“How did you sleep?” Carmen asked, while she laid a hand on Shane’s stomach.

“I can’t remember the last time I’ve slept so good,” Shane grinned and gave Carmen a short but passionate kiss. Shane crawled out of bed while Carmen looked confused.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

Shane saw the look on Carmen’s face. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” the taller woman said. Shane was astonished by her own reaction. If any other girl had asked her that question with that kind of expression, she would just have wanted to leave and get out of the place, she would have just wanted to run.

“It’s different with her,” Shane thought so lost deep in her thoughts that she almost forgot the wonderful woman who was sitting in front of her.

“What’s up babe?” Carmen asked with a concerned undertone.

“I’mI. I’ll never leave you alone again, Carmen. I even can’t believe thisit’s like a place I’ve never been. It’s just so safe.” Shane mumbled the last words and her face dropped like she was scared by the words she just said.

Tears were welling in Carmen’s eyes. She just stood up and took Shane in a deep embrace.
Carmen released Shane a little and looked into her eyes. “Shane. don’t be afraid of telling me things like this. You don’t have to hide your feelings from me,” Carmen said while she was stroking Shane’s face.

“Okay.” Shane said simply with husky voice. Carmen took her in a deep embrace again; she never wanted to see a hurt look in Shane’s eyes again, she just wanted to protect her in every single way.

“Carmen?”

“Yeah?”

“I still have to go to the bathroom,” Shane lamented.

“Oh, sorry babe,” Carmen giggled and saw Shane running into the bathroom.

* * *

“What are you doing today?” Carmen asked while she took a gulp of hot coffee.

“I want to visit Tina in the hospital and I want to see how Alice is doing,” Shane replied and put a plate into the dishwasher.

“And I have to work,” Carmen complained and made a sad face.

“Hey, I’m sure the day will go by really fast and then we can meet tonightI…I mean if you want to,” Shane tried a little helplessly to cheer her girlfriend up. Carmen just giggled at how shy Shane could be. One of the things she loved so much about Shane.

“Sure, I want to meet you tonight,” she replied and took Shane’s hand. “But now I have to go, cause my mother will call the police if I won’t be home soon,” Carmen joked and stood up.

Shane’s face dropped a little.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to keep you herebut I haven’t thought about your family”, Shane said with guilt in her voice.

“What? Shane are you kidding me? You can keep me here as long as you want. It’s just that I want to let them know that I’m still alive and I want to see them too, of course,” Carmen stroked a strand of hair out of Shane’s eyes. “You don’t have to feel guilty, baby.”

“You really like you family, uh?” Shane asked and took her look from Carmen.

“Yeah, I really like them. I love them all.” It was an honest answer, but it hurt Carmen a little to say it in front of Shane. As much as she knew Shane never had a real family. She had never felt the safety, the love and everything it meant to have a family. “Can you remember a lot about you mom?” Carmen dared to ask her that question although she knew that it wasn’t the best idea, but she just couldn’t hold herself back. Shane looked in another direction, now.

“Not really much,” she just said quietly and stood up. “I’ll just get ready to visit Tina,” she muttered and left the kitchen. Carmen sat there, with a hurt expression on her face.

“How could you be so stupid to asked her something like that?” Carmen thought and hated herself at that moment. “Gosh. I hope I didn’t scare her away,” she sighed and stood up to go, as she remembered that her keys were still in Shane’s room. “****,” she said and turned around to walk to Shane’s room.

“Shane? Can I come in? My keys are still in you room,” Carmen shouted and knocked on the door. No reply. “Shane? I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to throng you with that question.” No reply. Carmen was getting concerned. “Okay, if you want it or not, I’m coming in,” she shouted and opened the door.

She saw sitting Shane on the edge of her bed. She just stared down on the carpet with a lost and funereal expression; she didn’t even notice that Carmen entered the room.

“Shanewhat’s wrong?” Carmen sat worried next to Shane and touched her face. Shane was startled and looked addled in Carmen’s eyes. “Baby, it’s just me,” Carmen tried to lead Shane back into reality. Shane’s eyes cleared up and she relaxed a little. “Shane, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to scare you. It was a stupid question,” she said with concern in her voice.

“No, noit’s okayI’m sorry,” Shane stuttered and cleared her throat.

“What.” Carmen started but Shane cut in.

“No, I’m really sorry. It’s justI want to tell you everything. it’s justit’s hard,” Shane tried to explain herself, but still looked totally confused.

“Okay, okaycome here, let’s just drop it, baby,” Carmen said reassuringly and took Shane into her arms. Shane pressed her body close to hers like she was going to lose her. “Take your time, Shane. Take all the time you need. I’ll be waiting here to catch you,” she whispered quietly in Shane’s ear and held her close.

“Are you sure that I can leave you alone,” Carmen asked, and still looked worried.

“Yeah,” Shane replied and put a hand through her own hair.

“Are you really sure?” Carmen asked again with a small grin.

“Yeah,” Shane repeated not really noticing the grin on Carmen’s face.

“Really?” Carmen asked the third time, with an obvious big grin.

“Damn it, Carmen, I’m not a baby,” Shane replied, laughing this time as she saw Carmen’s face.

“That was the sweet laugh I wanted hear,” Carmen said satisfied. “See ya tonight. And take care, Shane.” Carmen got up and kissed Shane goodbye. She left a smiling Shane and got out of the house.

Shane was still sitting on her bed and wondered what this woman was doing to her. She could totally let herself fall and Carmen always caught her time after time. It was kinda scary on one side but on the other she was just happy. Happy and satisfied.