The click of her own heels was the only sound that greeted Bette as she made her way though the dark house.

Tina, are you here? She called

No response was offered. Bettes shoulders fell as she looked around the dark living area, uncomfortable with the solitude and silence which surrounded her. She had become accustomed to returning home at the end of the day, her partner usually putting the finishing touches on their evening meal, something light playing on the stereo and Tina ready her hear all about her day over dinner.

During the weeks they were estranged Bette only returned to the house to sleep, shower and change. She had found it easier to bury herself in work than face her pain.

Bette sighed as she dropped her briefcase on the dining table chair before heading back towards their room.

She didnt turn on any lights, choosing instead to leave the house in its dark and unwelcoming state.

Crossing the threshold Bette began to think about all the times Tina must have come home to this same emptiness. Her heart beat heavily as the memory of one particular night came to mind.

That night Bette came home to a dark house, calling out to her partner but hearing nothing in return. Tina was too broken to even let her know where she could be found. Bette made her way along the hall and into their unlit room where Tina sobbed quietly, mourning the life they had lost.

Bette sat down on their bed and shook her head at the memory. There had been no time that night, or any of the nights after for her to stop and think about Tina. She wasnt there more than two minutes before Faye Buckleys people were invading their front yard, their home. Bette swallowed hard as she thought about how fractured her attention had been then. Tina should have been her priority. She probably should have taken leave from the CAC but that never crossed her mind, there had been battles to fight. Frowning she wondered if she had chosen to fight those battles as a way of distancing herself from their personal loss.

Sitting there Bette began to wonder what that night must have been like for Tina. She went to the appointment alone, they had arranged to meet at Dr Wilsons rooms. Bette thought back to that morning, the excited look on Tinas face when she reminded Bette of the appointment time and cautioned her not to be late. Bette did share Tinas joy at their growing baby but other things were vying for her attention and those other things screamed loudly.

Bette let her tears fall, her heart breaking at the thought of Tina hearing that she had lost the baby. There was probably not a moment when Tina needed her more and Bette hated herself for being late. There were other things, were they more important? No. Were they more important then? They must have been. Her shoulders shuddered as she sat in the dark and sobbed, her head in her hands.

It was some time later when Bette heard the front door open.

Babe? She heard Tinas voice cut through the darkness Where are you?

Bette looked up and opened her mouth to speak but was unable to call out.

Im here She whispered

She saw the shadows cast on the hall floor as Tina turned on the lamps in the lounge. Next she heard Tinas footsteps in the hall. The light flicked on and Bette felt exposed, sitting there, visibly upset before her lover.

Baby, what are you doing in the dark? Tina questioned, her expression grew more concerned as their eyes met Bette, whats wrong?

Bette tried to speak but a lump lodged in her throat and fresh tears spilled onto her cheeks.

Tina sat down on the bed and gathered Bette into herself. Bette sought refuge in Tinas arms, her body yielding to the comfort of her wifes embrace.

What is it? Tina asked in a hushed voice as she ran her hand over Bettes back in an effort to comfort her.

That day Bettes voice cracked with emotion When you found out that youd lost the baby

Safely out of Bettes sight, Tina shut her eyes tight and took a deep breath. Her day had been long and arduous as it was. She was uncertain she had the fortitude to relive such a painful memory tonight.

I never really thought about it, there was so much happening then Bette pressed on oblivious to Tinas uneasiness You found out on your own, you came home on your own. You sat here in the dark and cried alone. How long was it that you sat here?

I dont know Tina replied, her voice barely a whisper I was kinda numb, in shock.

Tina pulled back from their embrace Wheres this coming from? She asked, searching Bettes eyes.

I came home tonight and the house was dark, it was solonely. Bette looked down as she struggled to voice her thoughts I remembered coming home that night and finding you here in the dark. It upset me to think of everything you must have gone through.

You were busy Tina replied quietly.

I prioritized other things over that appointment Bette replied flatly.

You werent to know Tina responded, reaching out to touch Bettes cheek.

I should have been there Bette whispered. Tina felt her heart breaking as she saw the burden of guilt in Bettes expression.

She brushed the hair out of Bettes reddened eyes as she carefully chose her words.

There was so much going on for you then. I knew that you were probably caught up in some meeting

Didnt it bother you? Bette asked.

A little Tina replied, her hand playing in a lock of Bettes hair But looking back, there was nothing you could have done to take away the pain.

Bette sighed heavily and looked away, seemingly at a loss.

I was in shock Tina struggled to find the right words as she tried to ease Bettes troubled conscience I knew youd be here as soon as you could.

Yeah Bette didnt sound overly convinced.

Baby, I was OK, really Tina tried again to reassure There wasnt anything anyone could do

Im so sorry

Its OK, its over Tina replied Did something happen at work today?

No Bette looked down and shook her head.

Are you OK?

Yeah Bette drew a deep breath and released it slowly It just kind of hit me when I walked in tonight. I dont know why, it just did

Youve never really talked about it Tina said quietly At least not with me

Not with anyone Bette admitted as her eyes met Tinas once more.

Do you think maybe you should? Tina suggested Have you ever given yourself a chance to grieve?

Iit was months ago Bettes tone was dismissive.

And youre still avoiding your pain Tina called her on it.

Bette sighed heavily Im OK with it. Ive dealt with it in my own way. Coming home tonight led me to think about what it must have been like for youthats what upset me Bette bit her lip in an effort to allay the tears that loomed once again You shouldnt have been alone that night

Im not made of china, Baby

I know Bette admitted But I cant stand to see you hurting

You cant wrap me up in cotton wool either. Things happen, things that not even you can control. Tina looked pointedly at her partner. A weak smile graced Bettes face as she recognized her own limitations when it came to controlling the universe. Even when I was sitting here alone, in the dark, I knew that youd take care of me. You did the best you could for me. Tina reached out and took one of Bettes hands in her own.

My best could have been better Bette sighed. She looked down at Tinas hand in hers, squeezing it gently.

Tina placed a kiss on Bettes temple and whispered Your best is all I need.