Ch. 1

Spencer’s POV:

                              I bit down on my bottom lip nervously as I waited for her to open the door. I stared down at the flowers near her lawn. Her wife must have planted them, not her. Ashley never really had the patience to grow plants as a little kid, I remember. We’ve been friends ever since we could barely walk; I think I we know each other inside out. We spent and still spend so much time together many people wonder why we aren’t together. That question is always on my mind. I wrung my hands a little before she finally opened the door, flashing me that million dollar smile. She was dressed only in a short white tee and her boxers. I resisted the urge to put my hands behind her neck and kiss her. Her wife, Jennifer, was out on a business trip so Ashley invited me over to watch movies with her like we always did. Then why is it that I’m so nervous and tense? “Popcorn?” she asked, nudging me gently with the bowl in her hand. I put only a little in my mouth since it was already dry enough from having her warm, perfectly sculpted body against mine. I felt as if I was suffocating just from being next to her. My hand trembled as I reached for the soda. “Megan Fox is so hot.” She noted, glancing over at me. “Only why the hell is she so fucking orange? She looks like she got one of those disgusting spray on tans you can buy in bottles at Wal-Mart!” Ashley bent down to pick up a kernel that had dropped out of the bowl. I saw the familiar tattoo she had on her lower back as her shirt rode up, and her boxers sagged a little as she almost bent under the table to go pick up those pesky kernels. I wanted to reach out and touch her; how easy it would be to hold her from behind and tell her how I felt. But I couldn’t.

               “Spence?” I stared at her blankly before snapping out of it about three seconds later. “Huh?” “Are you okay? You’ve been so quiet.” Ashley said, looking at me with concern. She placed her hand over mine. I felt my hand instantly tingle. “I’m alright,” I managed to choke out. “No really, Spence. You don’t look too good. You’re all sweaty and clammy. Let me feel your forehead.” She said, placing a hand over my head. “You don’t have a fever…actually, you feel pretty cold. Here, come lie against me and I’ll keep you warm along with the blanket.” She said, pulling me against her hard, toned body and placing the blanket over the two of us. I felt worse. I had a case of Ashley-itis, and being this close to her with her touching me was only making me feel like this illness was going to be fatal towards me. She rubbed my arms, making sure that I stayed warm against her body, and every now and then she’d smile down at me and kiss, nuzzle, or rub some part of me. I couldn’t take it anymore; I wanted so badly to press my lips against hers. But I couldn’t. Ashley was married; I couldn’t be a home wrecker, and besides, she loves her wife to death. Major symptom of Ashley-itis: devastating heartache. I wanted to cry; the very girl I’d known throughout my life, the love of my life, was someone I could never be with. This was what was making me sick. Ashley clasped my hand in hers, making sure I was being kept nice and toasty. She began rubbing my back slowly, her fingers traveling up my shirt inch by inch. I couldn’t handle this anymore; I kicked off the blanket and shot up. “Spencer, what are you doing?” she asked, looking at me as if I was crazy. “I can’t do this, Ash!” I screamed at her. “Do you know how this feels?” “How what feels?” she asked, puzzled. “How it feels to have feelings for someone who can’t ever return your feelings?!” I cried. “Spencer, what are you…?” “Ashley, I can’t just sit here with you touching me and being so close to me. It’s hurts…so much.” I said, tears starting to come to my eyes. “Spencer…” Ashley said, sounding wounded. “No Ash, it’s not your fault…it’s mine. I…I want you, even though I know I shouldn’t. You belong to Vanessa…but I can’t help it, Ash. Being around you…I just can’t deny that I want you. I’m sorry.” I sniffled. “I can’t breathe, Ash. I can’t breathe with you around me. You’re so intoxicating; I need you.” Ashley looked at me, wide-eyed in surprise. “I better go now. I’m sorry, Ash, but …I can’t be close to you like this anymore. It’s killing me.” I whispered as I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks.