Continued from Chapter 22 – Fire and Ice, Part One…

“At least you know she wishes it was you,” He spat.

My mask was working. I felt the corner of my mouth turn upwards a little. In the most nonchalant manner I could muster, I responded.

“True,”

I could only hope with all of my being that his words were true…

Jacob’s thoughts were beyond annoying. In fact, they’d begun to carefully creep along the border between insulting and disgusting. I’d tried to focus on the infinitesimal sounds of the storm, the wind, the rushing moisture of the snow, the subtle crashing of the conflicting air temperatures; cold against freezing. But, ultimately, it was Bella’s heartbeat that was securing my lifeline to sanity. And, Bella’s heartbeat was also saving Jacob’s life. Repeatedly. It was only natural; he’d saved her life tonight…so, after tonight, they would be even.

But, that didn’t mean I couldn’t dream. Well, I couldn’t really dream, but I could in my own way. It was wrong. I knew it. I blamed it on my instincts and felt justified by telling myself that despite these urges, I would refrained from crushing Jacob Black’s smug face into an indistinguishable pile of bone and skin. It would only take seven seconds! A very short time. Seven seconds and it would all be over. I grinned to myself as I considered my impossible option. But, eventually, the vision lost its luster, since I could no longer avoid the tiny detail that rendered the entire prospect hopeless: Bella’s reaction. Even in my imagination, causing her pain was beyond excruciating.

So, after enjoying my vivid imagination’s various versions of Jacob Black’s death, I’d given up the whole charade. Instead, I’d decided to intently focus on the little thumps of Bella’s life. My entire world revolved around its musical rhythm, especially now. Naturally, I’d succeeded in blocking his heartbeat out entirely. No need for additional reminders of his existence…

…thump-thump…thump-thump…

Ah…yes. My refuge, my peace, my sanity.

It didn’t block him out entirely, but it was a formidable distraction. Of course, this presented another problem. After I’d renewed my focus, and my dedication to abstaining from breaking his face…in seven seconds…his constant interruptions were an almost flagrant provocation. They were consistently breaking through her beautiful sound: loud, obnoxious, shameful, and achingly tender thoughts. But, I held my tongue…and my hands, right in their place, clenched at my side. Nothing was worth having if it wasn’t worth working for, right? I would earn the pleasure of hearing her heartbeat…