…do you think she thinks about me?…does she ever, well…does she ever seem like she’s missing me, or thinking about me…even when she’s with you?…

The memory of Bella’s frantic voice as she tried to contact him as I’d left her house flooded me. I twisted myself from its hold.

“Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often. More often than I like. She worries that you’re unhappy. Not that you don’t know that. No, that you don’t use that.” He knew my words were true. Too often he’d used his relationship with Bella to his own advantage and I despised him for it.

…well ,I … she’s not… “I have to use whatever I can.” He responded, his tone justifying. “I am not working with your advantages”…I don’t mean that you are better than me…

I tilted my head at his back-peddling.

“Advantages…” he clarified. “Like knowing that she’s in love with you.”

“That helps,” I agreed, thinking of her acceptance of my proposal. I fought the elation that the image provoked, but a slight grin still appeared and Jacob misinterpreted.

“She’s in love with me, too, you know…” he said, exasperated. He looked down at her face with an expression of longing that reminded me of my own. “She just doesn’t know it.”

The image of Bella reaching for his hand crowded in from his mind. He was holding on to these moments. They impacted me as well and my mood shifted at his verbalization. How could I avoid it? He was right, a part of Bella did love Jacob. That was certain.

“I can’t tell if you’re right,” I said quietly, acknowledging the strength and truth in his memories.

He stiffened at my words and his expression shifted. My uncertainty gave him hope.

“Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she’s thinking, too?”

“Yes….and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, although it sometimes drives me insane, I’d rather she was happy.” It was true.

Jacob said nothing, but his thoughts became jumbled as he considered what it would be like to read her mind. I was reading him until the wind ripped around the tent again. I shifted my gaze to Bella, but she was safe. No chatter. I was suddenly grateful as I saw Jacob shrug her closer, automatically protective. He wasn’t doing it to irritate me, he was following his own instincts. His vision struck me. The look of him, his eyes, his expression, it all made sense. Jacob Black was a child. I fought the pity I now felt for him. Was it possible to envy and pity someone? Perhaps…

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Odd as this might sound, I suppose I am glad you’re here, Jacob.”

“You mean, ‘as much as I’d love to kill you, I’m glad she’s warm, right?” he said.

“It’s an uncomfortable truce, isn’t it?” I said, smiling at my own cynicism.

His thoughts grew confident, “I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am.”

“I’m not such a fool to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn’t help your case, you know,” I said. I wasn’t giving him tips. He was incapable of masking his jealousy. Practice makes perfect…

“You have more patience than I do…”

“I should. I’ve had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for her.”

“So…”…god, that’s creepy…“at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy?”

With alarming clarity, I recalled the vision of Bella’s torn expression as she stood between us. I let it linger, forcing me to be honest.

“When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It’s not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the”…desire to rip your head from your overgrown shoulders…”less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can’t be sure”…other times, I make no effort to hide it…

“I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you.”

He was speaking in past tense. She still may not choose me, Jacob.

“That was part of it…but only a small part. We all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that she’d hurt herself trying to sneak away with you. After I’d accepted that she was more or less safe with you”…despite the bike, the cliff diving…” as safe as Bella ever is – it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes.”

The vision from Alice’s mind of her racing on her bike pushed itself forward.

…why is he being so honest…if she were awake…

”I’d tell her all of this, but she’d never believe me…”

“I know.” I responded.