Chapter 2: She Ain't That Much of a Whiz Kid

After my "meeting" with Shereen, I was getting hungry, so I went and got myself another Fish and Chips since that's the only damn food they make in this country that taste good. I can't stand English food with their horrible Bubbles and Squeek, bland Cornish Pies, starchy Chip Butty, questionable Black Pudding (what's in is really?), and worse of all those meatballs they call Faggots (I'm not kidding, that's the name). I don't know about you but my mouth ain't gonna touch no part of a Faggot, I don't care how good people say the balls taste!

I was also getting sick and tired of eating Chicken Tikka Masala, Lamb Donners and Fried Chicken. Oh my god, England is worse than the American South when it comes to fried chicken, there's fried chicken everywhere! And most of the stores (shops) have ridiculous names like Texas Fried Chicken or Uncle Sam's Fried Chicken. I never thought I would find myself missing Harvey's, Swiss Chalet, Mr. Sub or Pizza Pizza, even though I don't eat any of that crap back at home.

I wa able to break into Cassie and Roisin's home, it was not a problem since British home security is a joke. She has three cats in her house (Lesbians and cats, I tell you…) and there were hairballs all over the place. I didn't know if it came from the cats or from Cassie and Roisin… Computer genius Cassie Tyler was on a computer sending the CIA, Scotland Yards, Interpol and AfterEllen(dot)com the latest information on my activities. She was also looking at underage lesbian porn at the same time (kinky freak isn't she?) She had a picture of Mischa Barton as the background picture for her computer. My god, this dyke has terrible taste in women. I thought that junkie lezbo Roisin was bad and ugly enough but Mischa Barton? That's ugliness to a whole new lever.

In the room she also had pictures of Sally Hawkins, Jodhi May, Elenor Roosevelt, Sandra Bernard, Sandra Bernhardt, Linda Tripp, and that skankbag Lindsey Lohan. Somebody needs to smack some sense into that woman, she likes them ugly!

I know she's been spying on me, I saw her back in Spain when I killed those three Tortilla Flappers Shell, Denny and Shaz. However she was able to escape before I can catch her, but she has nowhere to run now. I don't give a damn about Scotland Yards and the CIA but it's AfterEllen that worries me. They were able to hire that hard-to-kill, pussy-eating, Sapphire Sister bitch Painkiller Jane to kill me after I wiped out their website and redirect the URL for their domain name to a different website. When some stupid twat typed in www(dot)afterellen(dot)co m, what they saw was a male escort service! I though that I was helping them out, most of those vibrator-abusing dykes sure needed it! I finally got rid of that bitch but it wasn't easy.