Shane was using the hammock, enjoying the lazy wind on that sunny afternoon. She wasnt sleeping, just dozing off. She was thinking about last month. How so many things have changed. Seemed like everything she knew was now different. Her reality was now somebodys else reality.
Alice and Dana, she didnt really know what was going on with them but she was only hoping for them to find out what they really wanted. She wanted them together but she also knew, no one better than her, that ***** always mess things up and she didnt want to lose any of them beacuse of that. They made a cute couple she thought with a smile on her face.
Tina and Bette, she tought sighing. She wasnt sure what to think about all that. She didnt know much. She really didnt want to know. It was strange how bad she felt when she found out that Bette cheated on Tina. She felt Tinas pain like it was her own. The whole idea that they were not together was breaking her heart. After so many years loving Tina she was at a place where all she wanted was to know that she was happy.
She knew that Bette was the one that could make her really happy. She knew, have been seeing it over the years, how Tinas face glowed the moment Bette entered a room, how her body relaxed the moment Bette touched her casually and how she always held Bettes fingers, played with them, while they were seated together. It was something she was sure Tina didnt notice, didnt do on purpose, it was just how it was, their bodies always touching somehow, but not in a sexual way, it was more sensual and tender than anything else. It was like they needed that constant contact with each other without even knowing it. But, and Shane could also tell, all that was there, in them, because of Tina. How Tina opened Bettes world, Bettes feelings. It was Tina who made things easy for all of them. She was the one who always brought them together and she was always the one letting Bette took charge. But it was Tina the one that always made the first move.
Thinking all that made Shane questioning Tinas behaviour these past weeks. She saw how broke she was, how lost she felt and how desperate she looked just after finding out. But then she never saw Tina giving up. After some strange days she saw her going back to work, moving on. Watching her made Shane realize how strong Tina was. Watching her helped Shane dealing with her own demons. After some blurry days she realized about Cheryl, and even when it was still very painful she realized she had to move on, If Tina, who Shane was sure, was moving on after what happened with Bette, she should too.
But realizing all that made Shane wonder about the future and about Tinas different look in her eyes. She had lost the sweet, tender glim in her eyes. Her eyes were made of steel now, so focus, so in charge. Shane saw, for the first time, real anger in her eyes and that scared her. She didnt want Tina to change, to become somebody else. She was the rock in her life, knowing that the sweet, loving, caring Tina was around made Shanes life much easier. She didnt need to tell her, talk to her or even let Tina know anything about her problems, just knowing that in case shed really fall apart Tina was going to be there was enough for her to go on.
She decided to visit Zoe and hoped to find out what she really wanted from life. She was also escaping from all that ***** that was getting to her again. All the time she was with Cheryl she didnt do any drugs and she felt so well, so proud. She didnt want to go down that spiral again, so in a way, visiting Zoe was her own personal rehab center. She was happy to have done that.
It was a total surprised seeing Tina there but it was an even better surprised to have seen the sweet and caring Tinas side again. Not till she saw Tina smiling again did she realize how much she has missed that frank, unpretentious, ***** smile of hers. Thinking about Bette and how she broke that smile into pieces was making Shane uncomfortable, for the first time in years she was really angry at somebody else besides herself. That was another reason to leave the city for a few days, she didnt want to bump into Bette. It was not her place to judge her but she could not trust her behaviour around her friend, so better to leave before doing or saying something shed regret. She loved Bette too, but she was angry as ***** at her.

Tina walked towards the hammock. She wanted to talk with Shane, wanted to tell her about her conversation with Dana. She knew Shane didnt want to talk about Cheryl or about losing her job but she also knew, or maybe just wanted to think she knew, that Shane needed someone to help her out. And she loved helping her. She loved seeing her everyday, she loved seeing her happy.
It always amazed Tina how Shane managed to change her life, moving away from ***** to a better, more secure place. Knowing that that hard, ugly journey looking for a better life didnt make Shane bitter or selfish always made Tina loving her even more. She was always amazed by how strong Shane was, how brave she always was. After all that she knew happened to her, she never took advantage of her past, she never use her tragic childhood as a flag or as something thatd identify her. Shane, during one of the rare occasions were she talked about her past, told her that her past was not who she was but just something that made her be who she is.
As Tina was getting closer she noticed the frown in Shanes face, realizing she was not asleep. She stopped the urge to caress her sweet face, the urge to move her playful hair from her face. She was not sure why but she wanted to hold her again in her arms.


Alice was working on her computer when she heard Dana coming in. It was early and a good surprise. She was getting nowhere with the article and seeing Danas sweet face was very welcoming. Alice laughed at the thought of calling and thinking about Dana as sweet. It was not the first time but she was still getting use to the idea that Dana was her sweet Dana now. Cute, clumsy Dana was hers now and every time she thought about it she felt a shiver, it was scary how at ease she felt with her after those awkward first days. There were no games between them, she knew what she felt and even when Dana was still a bit shy about it all, she was sure Dana loved her. They were teasing each other all the time, as they have always done but the difference now was that she knew that at the end of the day that sweet, cute, amazingly beautiful woman was going to be in her arms.
Seeing her walk towards her, with a goofy smile on her face, made Alice notice, once again, (as Dana was dressed in her practice outfit) how beautiful she was and mg! what an amazing arms she had. Just thinking about those soft thin arms holding her made Alices smile even bigger.