Alice lit the fourth joint of the evening and took a deep hit. “No Shane, it isn’t that simple, see because…” She started, but Shane was shaking her head.

“Al, that’s just bullshit. You gotta tell her the truth, and you have to tell her now.” Shane motioned for Alice to pass her the joint.

Alice exhaled, took another quick hit, and passed the joint to Shane. “You’re completely missing my point here…”

Tina stumbled into the loungeroom from the kitchen, chips and chocolate and what looked like pickles, being brought with her. “No, Al, Shane is completely right. You have, have, have to tell Dana how you feel!” Tina plonked herself on Alice’s couch, ripping open the chips and shoving a handful into her mouth. Shane reached up from where she was seated next to Alice on the floor, and grabbed the chocolate with one hand. She frowned. Did she continue to suck on the joint, or open the chocolates?

Alice stared blankly at the wall, remembering the kiss she had laid on Dana only a few nights before. “***** hot…” She mumbled, her eyes closing. Man, she was so ***** stoned, it was almost like being back in the kiss, Shane and Tina slipping away, Dana suddenly standing in front of her. She lent towards her, towards those luscious lips. “Because I love you.” She mumbled, nodding. “Yeah, really a lot…”

Tina kept crunching the chips, laughing at the same time as she watched Alice tip forward with her eyes closed and fall face first onto the carpet.

Shane started chuckling. “Oh man, Al? You’re wasted man.”

Alice rolled onto her back, eyes opening as wide as she could get them. “Oh wow, I was totally… Oh wow, Shane what is this… This is great…” She smacked her lips together. “Dana… Dana… Dana… Dana…” She closed her eyes, continuing her Dana song.

Shane offered her joint to Tina, who shook her head. She swallowed before speaking. “No, no if I have any more I’ll probably… end up…” She started giggling. “Making out… with the… carpet… too.”

Shane chuckled again, finishing the joint and ripping open the chocolates. “God I love chocolate…” She murmured.

Tina eagerly lent toward Shane. “Oh oh me too, gimme…”

Alice opened her eyes. “I’m going to call Dana!” She announced, sitting up a little and then falling back down. “I’m stuck to the ground!”

Shane and Tina ignored her, eating the chocolate.

“I’m going to call Dana and tell her… and tell her… No!” Alice tried to sit up again, but didn’t make it. “I’m going to call Tonya!”

Shane chuckled again. “Yeah right, and I’m going to call Steve Jaffe.”

Tina nodded. “And I’m going to call that ***** faced carpenter.”

Alice took a deep breath. “Oh Tina, you’re so strong.” Alice decided to roll to the phone, if she couldn’t get up and walk to it. “But seriously, I’m going to call Tonya!”

Shane reached out, giggling, trying to grab Alice’s ankle as it rolled past her. “Al… Stop… You can’t call…. Tonya…”

But Alice already had the phone in her hand, and had speed dialed Dana.

Tina opened the pickle jar, and then shrieked. “Oh my god it’s alive!” She threw the open jar in front of her with all her might, missing Shane but hitting Alice just before she opened her mouth to start talking into the phone.

“Oh ***** what was that?” Alice was covered in pickle juice, the pickles themselves rolling off her onto the ground. She dropped the phone, forgetting about it.

“Alice they’re alive!” Tina screamed, standing on Alice’s couch. Shane’s eyes had widened as she watched the pickles, moving?

“***** Alice the pickles are alive!” Shane jumped onto the lounge as Alice started screaming.

“Get it off me! Get it off me!”

Shane took a deep breath, before diving off the couch and stunt rolling over to Alice, grabbing her under the arm pits and dragging her back towards the couch.

Tina was no longer smiling, or laughing, or giggling. “Shane, what did we smoke? Shane, what did we smoke to make the pickles come alive?”

______________________________

“… and a few days ago Marina called me, telling me she was in love with me.” Jenny smiled slightly, as Bette’s eyebrows raised. “Yeah, yeah I know.”

“Have you talked to her?” Bette asked softly, her head resting on her hand. They were seated on Bette’s couch, facing each other, the ice cream forgotten on the coffee table and the television off.

Jenny shook her head, and bit her lip. “No, no I haven’t. I’m not sure…” She sighed. “I’m not really sure what to say to her, you know? It’s like she came into my life, this beautiful life I had with Tim, and just shook me to the core of my foundations and ruined it all. “Jenny smiled self deprecatingly. “But at the same time she saved me, you know. She saved me from my own delusion of what would make me happy.”

Bette nodded thoughtfully. “And… and you couldn’t go back to it could you, at least as the same person you used to be?”

Jenny blew out a breath, her fringe raising a little from the expelled air. “When I look back on it, I feel this awful shame, you know? Like I did try to go back, to Tim I mean, but he wouldn’t have me and it’s almost like… it’s almost like had he taken me back… had he let me back into his life completely…” Jenny frowned slightly. “Oh I don’t know.”

Bette reached out and took Jenny’s hands. “You don’t think you could’ve been happy with him?”

Jenny looked at Bette, slight tears in her eyes, yet she smiled. She didn’t say anything, only shook her head in the negative. “Marina asked me once, at that dinner you and Tina came to? She asked me if I was happy.”

Bette bit her lip as she remembered the dinner. And her self righteous anti-cheating spiel to Tina later that night. Oh God, what had she done?

“I couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t say yes. She just, she just completely had me falling apart every time I saw her or thought about her. Do you know what that’s like?” Jenny winced slightly as she realized she’d been a little caught up in her own problems. “Oh God Bette, I’m sorry. Here I am unloading all of this onto you when I’m the one who offered the consolation in the first place.”

Bette took her hands back, running her fingers through her hair before smiling softly. “No it’s okay Jenny, you’ve helped just by being here, really.” At Jenny’s doubtful look, Bette tried to make her smile larger and therefore more convincing. “No really, all day I’ve been eating ice cream and watching television and contemplating whether or not to drown myself in the left over alcohol from last night.”

Jenny raised her eyebrows. “Last night?”

Bette sighed. “I sang to Tina. In public. She basically told me to get out of her life, and Shane and I got very drunk afterwards, here.” Bette sighed and stood up. “Do you want a drink of anything?”

Jenny stared at Bette in shock for just a moment, before standing up rather eagerly and following Bette into the kitchen. “Oh sure… what have you got?”

______________________________

Dana frowned a little, and pouted, even in sleep. She was having the most bizaare dream she’d ever had.

She was on a tennis court and she had her racket, except she was dressed in the tightest dress she’d ever worn in her life. Even tighter than the dress she’d worn to the Subaru event, and she’d been barely able to bend over in that.

On the other side of the net was Tonya.

“Tonya what are you doing here?”

Dana wondered how she could still be breathing in the tight dress. She felt like she couldn’t move.

Tonya was silent, but was making noises like the ball machines Dana practiced with. Dana suddenly noticed a large basket standing next to Tonya, filled with high heeled shoes. Tonya started throwing them at her, impossibly hard and fast.

Dana tried to hit the shoes away, but it was like she was moving in slow motion, the dress hindering her further.

“Stop it!” She screamed, trying desperately to hit the shoes back and protect herself at the same time.

Tonya was cackling evilly, throwing the shoes faster and faster.

______________________________

Alice’s couch had been moved, tipped over and turned into a fort of sorts. Alice, Tina and Shane lay sprawled behind it, the pickles laying on the other side highly immobile.

“… and then Clea tells her folks that her and I were doing the nasty right, so of course Steve ***** Jaffe went completely ballistic…”

“And the whole time you’re really doing the mom?”

“Yeah, so now my would-be salon is a no-go, Steve Jaffe wants my proverbial balls, and I had my heart broken…”

Alice rolled over to look at Shane and Tina, deciding to join in on the conversation. “Shane, did you just use the word ‘proverbial’ in a sentence?”

Shane rolled her head to the side to look at Alice. “Yeah Al, I did.”

Alice nodded slightly. “Cool.”

Tina sighed, lying on the other side of Shane and staring at the ceiling thoughtfully. “A broken heart is enough to destroy your entire being.”

They all frowned, Alice rolling onto her back and Shane rolling her head to stare at the ceiling as well.

“Yeah it is. You can’t let it do it to you though.” Shane reached over and grabbed Tina’s hand with one hand, and Alice’s with the other.

“It’s true Tina. You gotta fight back, you can’t let it destroy you because man…” Alice let out a slight sob. “You’re beautiful Tee!”

Tina’s face scrunched up and she sat up, letting go of Shane’s hand, so she could look at Alice. “Oh no, you’re beautiful!”

Alice’s face took on a very serious look, as serious as a look can be on someone completely out of their mind on hallucinogenic hydro-grown marijuana. “No you’re beautiful!” She sat up, taking her hand out of Shane’s grasp to support herself and using the other to reach over Shane to grab Tina’s shoulder emphatically.

Tina shook her head. “Al you’re the beautiful one!”

Before Alice could reply, Shane reached up and pulled them both down into a hug. “You’re both ***** beautiful!”

They all hugged each other, sobbing but not crying. “Oh Shane you’re the beautifullest!”

_____________________________

Dana was falling backwards, Tonya’s cackling was disappearing and Lara was standing over her looking concerned.

“Dana, you’re on my Creme Brulee.”

Lara reached down a hand, and Dana found herself taking it and being pulled to her feet.

“Oh it’s all over you!” Lara started wiping bits of weird purple stuff off of Dana as Dana watched on.

“But, it’s purple…” Dana found herself saying very slowly. Lara, for some reason, was dressed as a purple bunny rabbit.

“That’s the point Dana, it’s not Creme Brulee if it’s not purple.” Lara put her arms around Dana, her fluffy purple bunny rabbit arms.

“You’re so soft. ” Dana marveled.

“You can keep me.” Lara murmured, moving in towards Dana and kissing her slowly.

_____________________________

Bette knocked back another shot of whisky and pulled a face. “… and I was left standing there, watching her walk away from me, from us, from everything. Thank God for Shane, or I’d probably still be standing there now.”

“So why did you sing to her again?” Jenny muttered, pouring herself and Bette another shot.

“Because I promised her I would!” Bette said loudly, before scrunching her eyes up and throwing herself into the back of the couch.

Jenny threw her own shot down her throat, licking her lips and pouring more. “You promised her you’d sing karaoke to her?”

Bette frowned. “No, I just promised her I’d sing to her one day.” She sighed and sat back up, taking the proffered shot of whisky off of Jenny and throwing it back.

“How much of this did you buy?” Jenny asked, pouring her fifth shot of the evening.

Bette shrugged. “One of the whisky, but we bought some wine and Vodka too.”

Jenny’s mouth fell open.

“We were, admittedly, a little ambitious.”

“So what did you sing to her again?” Jenny was really starting to loosen up, the alcohol running through her system and all but abolishing any inhibitions she still held on to.

Bette stood up, wobbily on her feet, and made her way to the cd player. She picked up a cd case that was already lying open, and lifting the cd from inside put it into the cd player and hit the PLAY button.

Jenny listened as piano music filled the air and a deep male voice started singing. Her mouth fell open again. “***** man, you sang Into My Arms? By Nick Cave?”

Bette nodded miserably, starting to sway to the music, her eyes closing.

“*****. That’s incredible.” Jenny’s eyes closed. “And so romantic.” Jenny’s eyes opened again. “Bette, man, that’s just… ” She waved her hands in front of her. “I would’ve melted man, ***** melted.” Jenny lay back against the chair, her eyes closing again as the music washed over her alcohol soaked brain.

Bette stopped swaying and opened her eyes, gazing at Jenny amused. She stopped the cd. “Yes well, it seems to have pissed Tina off even more.” She put her hands over her face. “What am I going to do Jenny?”

Jenny opened her eyes as the music stopped playing and gazed at Bette thoughtfully. “Don’t do what I did.”

Bette sighed, and made her way back to the couch and sat with Jenny again. “And what did you do Jenny?”

Jenny sighed. “I lied. I lied to Tim and to myself, and I think I even lied to Marina somewhere in there. But mostly I lied to myself Bette.” Jenny yawned. “God, what time is it?”

Bette shrugged, not really caring. “I don’t know what’s true anymore Jenny.”

Jenny looked at Bette lazily. “Well you’re the only one who will ever know that, which just sucks man. I mean don’t you wish there was some help button for your life? You know the computer help button right, you can ask it questions and it gives you all this helpful stuff on what to do when you’re stuck or you don’t know?”

Bette nodded, paying attention but also lost in her own thoughts.

“And *****, it even gives you related topics.” Jenny sighed. “I wish I had one of those just on me, somewhere. Like I could just press my nose and find out what to do…” She frowned. “… or something.”

Bette yawned.

“I think I need to sleep.” Jenny sat up, rubbing her face, and stood up.

Bette smiled and stood up, pulling Jenny into a hug. “Thank you Jenny.” She said softly.

Jenny, surprised, hugged her back. “If you need anything, just call me. I live like,” And she pointed over Bette’s shoulder. “There.”

Bette kept smiling and pulled back. “Will do. You too, okay?”

They walked to the front door, Bette taking a deep breath.

“I’ve never been so co-dependent on people in my life.”

Jenny, walking out of the house, looked back at Bette once before stumbling next door. “Feels good doesn’t it?”

Bette looked after her thoughtfully. “Yeah, I think it does…” She said softly.

______________________________

“I think I’m sobering.” Alice sat up a little groggily, and yawned. She ran her hands through her hair, making it stick out all over the place. She got on her knees and peaked over the top of her couch at the pickles lying innocently on the floor. “Guys, I think they’re dead again.”

Shane rubbed her face, sitting up and yawning. “That was pretty good *****, hey guys.”

Tina dragged herself to a seated position. “I’m never going to be able to eat pickles again you know.”

Alice sat back and looked at Tina. “If that’s the worst thing that happens to you, be thankful.”

Shane chuckled. “You know what… thanks guys, for being… you know, with me tonight.”

Alice and Tina smiled, leaning over and hugging Shane at the same time.

“Oh we’re just one big bundle of love.” Alice said sarcastically, but squeezing her friends even more.

Tina lent back first, shaking her head a little. “I think I’m still a little out of it.” She grinned. “I haven’t been that stoned… or stoned at all, in a lo-ong lo-ong time.”

Alice patted her on the knee. “I think you needed it.”

“I think we all needed it…” Shane mumbled.

They all sat there, in comfort with each other, thinking.

Aliced looked thoughtfully at Tina. “I’ll kill that carpenter ***** for you if you want.” She said softly, tentatively.

Shane nodded. “Yeah totally Tee, we’ll take her out.”

Tina smiled sadly. “Oh you guys, you’re the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for.”

Alice looked at Shane. “And Shane, Steve Jaffe is totally in the top five of my list of people not to brake for if I see them on the street.”

Tina nodded emphatically. “Me too. And Tonya is going down!”

Alice’s face scrunched up. “Hopefully not on Dana…” She groaned, her hands covering her face.

“That’s not… that’s not what I meant…” Tina looked helplessly at Shane, who was chuckling.

“Al… hey, at least you didn’t get to talk to her last night and make a fool of yourself.” Shane patted Alice’s back in comfort. Alice’s head shot up.

“Oh *****, the phone.” She jumped up and vaulted over the couch, landing on a pickle and slipping over onto the carpet.

Shane stood up, looked at Alice lying flat on her back, stunned, and rolled her eyes. “You could’ve walked around the couch there Al.” She said as she did just that.

Tina joined them, reaching down to help Alice to her feet.

“Says you miss dive-off-the-couch-stunt-roll-queen…” Alice muttered, as Shane picked up the phone and bit her lip.

“Uh, Al?”

Alice, for the first time, saw the destruction that had taken place in her living room. There were pickles everywhere, and juice stains all over the carpet… she looked down at herself… AND all over her. “This is going to stink for weeks!” She groaned. “Jesus Tina, did you have to throw the jar at me? The open jar? The open ***** pickle jar?”

Tina smiled sheepishly. “I wasn’t exactly aiming for you…”

“Al?” Shane said, not sure how she was going to break the news to Alice.

“You could’ve put the lid back on! ‘Oh look, live pickles, hmm I’m going to unleash them on the living room INSTEAD OF LOCKING THEM BACK IN THE JAR?!” Alice pointed a finger at Tina accusingly.

“I’m sorry, Alice I was… I was really stoned and it was… my first instinct.” Tina tentatively smiled at Alice. “You know I’ll pay for everything…”

Alice sighed. “No, don’t worry, I’m just being… oh ***** it, I love you Tee… I’m, going to have a shower and die…” She wavered slightly, the night’s exertions taking it’s toll on her. “Possibly not in that order…” She turned tiredly toward the bathroom.

“Well Al, before you die, you might want to bare in mind that you did end up calling Dana last night, I think.” Shane continued biting her lip.

Alice stopped mid-step, she didn’t turn around. “Oh?” She said. “Oh *****, I got her answering machine…”

Tina frowned. “I don’t remember that…” Her face cleared suddenly. “Oh that’s when I threw the jar… right…”

Shane gingerly put the phone back on it’s cradle. “I’m fairly certain she hasn’t gotten it yet, or Dana would probably be here asking us if we’d lost our minds.”

Alice groaned, continuing to the bathroom. “Great, just great.”
______________________________

Lara pulled back from the kiss, except it wasn’t Lara anymore. Alice was looking at Dana with such love in her eyes.

“Al?” Dana said, confused and yet pleased. Alice wasn’t wearing a bunny suit, or purple. She was dressed in rocker clothes, a guitar slung over her shoulders.

“I’d sing for you Dana.” Alice started strumming her guitar, and singing, but Dana couldn’t make out the words.

“Al? I can’t… can’t hear you.” Dana reached out to Alice, but was just shy of touching her.

Alice kept strumming her guitar, and singing. She was smiling and looking at Dana.

Dana desperately tried to reach her again. “Al, Al don’t run away from me…”

Dana suddenly opened her eyes, shocked to find herself lying in her bed in the dark, and not in her dream with… she frowned, struggling to remember her dream and what had woken her up. She glanced at her clock.

4:07

She groaned and shut her eyes again, and this time her sleep was dreamless.