Bette sat alone at the kitchen table sipping her coffee as a thousand yard stare graced her features. This morning she woke up and reached for Tina like every morning but only air filled the void where her partner used to lie. Bette’s stomach turned as she relived moment when she realized that Tina was gone and she knew she was the reason. The tears of remorse at her selfish and careless acts threaten to overwhelm Bette as she fought them for the first time that day, it will not be the last. Instead she turns her attention to the tasks that await her at the office. There’s the meeting with Steve Fenwick from the Tate Modern, he wants to discuss some aspects of Provocations to see what they can learn from her, how did he word it? The “Outstanding” exhibition. An outstanding success for the CAC and an outstanding ***** up of her personal life.

Bette’s standing in the Art world had never been better, galleries from all corners of the globe were attempting to lure her from the CAC and yet she does nothing. Smiling, she hides the bitterness at every comment praising her efforts with Provocations – if they only knew what it had cost they might begin to understand. Pride is not a familiar feeling anymore, she is too ashamed at herself to allow comfort from their praise. There are a number of other appointments on her schedule but she can’t seem to recall the details. Vivid was the only way to describe the memory of the last time that she saw her wife. Bette can recall every last awful detail – the things she did to Tina, the things Tina did to her. Lying awake at night in their bed the memory plays over and over. Tina has always forgiven her but what if she can’t forgive this? In her heart Bette fears she is gone.  

Twenty minutes later Bette was on her way out the door when her cell rang.

“Bette Porter” Her voice was lethargic even to her own ears.

“My God it’s true you’re still alive.” Alice’s shrill voice chimed down the line.

“Hey Alice,” She sighed, it was nice to hear Alice’s voice but it was yet another reminder of all that Bette had lost.