Bette quickly called Kit to figure out how to process this; there was no way Shane could really want anything more than friendship, right?

Kit answers her cell, Hey Baby Girl, I was on my way to see you but your car isnt here so I was headed to The Planet.

Bette: No Kit stay there I am on my way home now and I really need to talk to you.

As Bette approaches her house she sees Kit sitting on the steps waiting for her.

Bette: Kit I have a problem. So much has happened in the last few months and I cant afford to end up losing a friend right now.

Kit: What are you talking about, whats going on?

Bette: ShaneShane (Bette couldnt even get the words out.)

Kit: Oh no, she didnt tell you shes in love with you did she? I thought I had convinced her not to go there with you. You two are much better as friends.

Bette: Wait; wait, you knew about this? Where have I been not to even be aware of whats going on? Do you think I encouraged this? Is this my fault?

Kit: Look, I dont think Shane is really in love with you. I think she really cares about you a lot and shes comfortable displaying strong feelings sexually not emotionally. She has a lot of feelings and she isnt sure how to deal with them. And no, you didnt encourage this, sweetie with all you have been through you leaned on everyone a little bit more than usual; and that is a good thing, to allow the people that love you to be there for you when you need them. I think you dealt with Shane a little more, simply because she is so easy to be around, thats what makes her a great friend and you dont want to throw that away.

Bette: Yeah, that makes sense but I dont know how we are going to get past this. Apparently shes seeing Candace now and that hurts, a lot. Why Candace of all people?

Kit: Its a warped attempt to get closer to you. Shes confused dont be angry with her she really is a good friend thats why you are so upset about this. You know if she was thinking clearly she would never do anything to hurt you. Candace uh? This is more serious than I thought. I mean for her to go there maybe she is really into you, maybe?

Bette: You just said that she was confusing her strong emotional feelings for sexual feelings because shes more comfortable expressing herself sexually. Now you think her feelings are genuine, Kit which is it?

Kit: Only Shane will know. You have to talk to her and listen to what she says, read between the lines and try to face it head on. Shane has always been honest, but if shes hiding the truth from herself she cant be expected to be honest with you. Whatever you do be patient and keep in mind you want to keep your friendship intact without feeling weird around each other.

Bette: You are right”keep the friendship intact with no weirdness. You know I dont think Shane is really into me. I mean if she were I would have known sooner. Weve known each other for so long and its never gone THERE before. Shes never even flirted with me, not really.

Kit: You know baby sis, just because it hasnt come up before doesnt mean its not real. I mean sometimes you spend time with someone and you slowly realize the relationship could be something more and feelings develop. Just listen to her; but Bette, be prepared to hear what she says. What are you going to do if she really does want to be with you?

Bette: Well nothing, I mean I am with Tina. Thank God I have another chance with her. I wont jeopardize this relationship for anything in the world. T, T is my everything. I cant imagine going back to the misery of living without her. I mean Shane is a good person and of course there are so many attractive things about her, she is definitely appealing but there is no one outside of Tina that I would seriously consider spending my time with, my life with.

Kit: Well you know what you have to do. I wouldnt wait too long to talk to her. She is probably confused, scared, and embarrassed about the whole thing”I mean Candace. That was a big mistake on her part, but Bette that proves that you two need to deal with this now versus later.

Bette: The more I think of it the more hurt and angry I become”the idea of THEM being together. It feels like a betrayal of trust. I know Shane and I arent a couple, but a friend wouldnt have slept with Candace. She had to know that would hurt me. Shane, more than anyone knew how badly I was hurting after the break up with Tina and how guilt ridden I was about my affair with Candace”how could she?

Kit: Bette please get your anger in check so that you are able to have the conversation with Shane that you need to have. I think at this point you would both agree that the thing with Candace shouldnt have happened; but thats not the most important issue here. Keeping your relationship with Shane intact is the more important than harping on everyones favorite mistake”Candace.

Bette winced at Kits reference to Candace as everyones favorite mistake. She then got up and hugged her sister and decided shed have to deal with Shane and now. Bette struggled with if she wanted to tell Tina about this new revelation. No secrets is a good policy but if Tina knows, things will always be weird between her and Shane and Shane and I wouldnt be the same either. I think this one time, this one situation, its best for T not to know.

Bette went off to find Shane not knowing what she would say hoping that whatever happened the two could remain friends.


Bette road by The Planet, and Lather, and there was no sign of Shane anywhere. She was about to give up the search when she spotted Shanes truck at the park they had visited when she had her panic attack. Bettes cell rang just before she left her car. It was Tina.

Bette: Hello?
Tina: Hey Babe, how is your day?
Bette: Oh, its okay. Alice was busy so Im looking for Shane. I just wanted to hang out with the gang a little.
Tina: [Tina didnt like the idea of Shane and Bette hanging out alone but the fact that Bette had mentioned it gave her no real reason for alarm.] Thats a good idea.
Well at my appointment I got recruited to take some kids on a field trip to a museum. Im actually taking the kids to the park now. They were so good at the museum and now they just want to run around a play so as soon as we get them back to the Center I will be on my way home. Babe I miss you.

Shane notices Bettes car and spots Bette walking in her direction. Shes frozen they make eye contact and she is so unprepared to deal with this. She just wants to run, but where could she go? Eventually she would have to deal with this. So she stands frightened, waiting whatever consequence would be her fate.

Bette (still on the phone with Tina and distracted by seeing Shane) Uh oh, I miss you too T. You are taking the kids to the park? That should be fun. Look T I will order out some dinner for tonight. I will see you later.

Tina: Bette waitI was
Bette hung up. Tina couldnt help but hear the nervousness in Bettes voice. Tina wondered if she was okay and why was she rushing her off the phone. Tina debated on calling her back but the kids were running all over she decided to get them settled and phone Bette back in twenty minutes or so.

Bette approached Shane and noticed she looked really nervous. She wanted to say something to put her mind at ease, but for the first time the words werent coming easily. How could they?

Shane decided she would try to break the silence-it was too much to bear.

Shane: Look Bette I am sorry. I didnt plan for any of this to happen, it took me by surprise.

Bette: What, your relationship with Candace or your sudden crush on me?

Shane: Ouch, okay, first I wouldnt describe this as a crush and there is no relationship with Candace.

Bette interrupted, Oh thats right you dont do relationships. You just decided to sleep with the one person who had a hand in the most awful mistake in my life. You must really have it out for me in some way. What were you thinking? Bettes temper was starting to fume and she was beginning to lose any recollection of her discussion with Kit.

Shane: Look Bette I couldnt, I didnt sleep with her. I realized the only reason I wanted to be with her was because she had been close to you. In some way I thought it would

Bette: Shane where is this coming from? I mean you KNOW how much I love Tina and you have to know I dont want to hurt you, but there is no way I could ever be anything but a friend to you; a good friend, a close friend, but only a friend. I do love you, as my dear friend and nothing more.

Shane quickly turned away she felt tears beginning to sting her eyes. She knew this moment was inevitable she knew there was no way Bette Porter would ever return the affection she had for her. Shane felt absolutely stupid for even letting her know how she felt at all.

Bette slowly walked over to Shane and turned her face so she could look into her deep brown pained eyes. Shane I dont want you to hurt like this. I just want things to go back like they were. I want my friend back, no pain, and no weirdness. How can we get that back? How did we even get here? Bette asked as she held Shanes face in her hands and softly wiped away her tears.

Shane closed her eyes as she pressed her face closer to Bettes touch. She so wanted to be close to Bette and she really didnt know if she could find the words to tell her why, but she decided she would try to account for her sudden interest. Shane took a deep breath and gazed into Bettes eyes. Immediately Shane realized she should have avoided eye contact altogether. Shane became lost in Bettes beauty and it became obvious she couldnt look away. Bettes hands still holding Shanes face, Shane inched closer in. She bent her head and went in for a kiss.

Bette quickly removed her hands from Shane. God Shane I cant be that person for you. Come on why would you put me in this horrible position? I love Tina and yes I love you but not like that. Bette was now up and walking back towards her car now in shock and angry at Shanes apparent boldness.

Shane quickly apologized as she grabbed Bettes arm to try to make her stay.

Shane: Bette dont go. Please, you are right we need to figure out whats going on here. I cant put you or myself through this. It isnt fair to either of us or to Tina. Please lets talk, please.

Bette still standing paused and looked at Shane. She purposefully kept her distance and replied, Talk.
Shane: Bette for so long I looked at what you and Tina had and I wanted that. I longed for it. I just never knew how to go about finding it. So I told myself this is something that finds you. I stopped looking. I saw your love for each other and it made me happy and hopeful. Then just looking at you, Bette you are the type of woman that seems to always have sunny days. I may not be explaining this well. Its like you bring light and confidence wherever you go. I see that and I admire it. You are so beautiful and so strong so flawless.

Bette: Shane, I am anything but flawless

Shane interrupted Bette. Please let me get this out or I wont be able to finish.

Bette nodded.

Shane continued, When you and Tina started having problems you seemed to deal with them and I saw how committed you were. I mean flying back from NY because you were worried, making sure we checked on her while you were in NY. You were always so thoughtful. Then when I found out about the affair. It didnt add up. How could beautiful, strong, flawless, thoughtful Bette so inconsiderate so unkind? Bette put her hand up to interject and Shane pointed and shook her head as if to say she wasnt finished. Then it occurred to me that the burden of being you; strong, flawless, and thoughtful was too much to bear. Suddenly your vulnerability made you even more beautiful. When I saw how devastated you were my heart broke for you. I just wanted to be there for you. When I saw you needed me Bette it felt good that YOU would need me. It hurt me to see you sad but it brought me so much happiness to know that I could help ease the pain. I dont know, from then on I started to think that, that I loved you. Then after you were attacked I was totally distraught and I had an urge to protect you from all hurt”I wanted to try to keep all of your days sunny. The thought of it was a little crazy at first but Bette how could anyone not love you? I mean youre Bette Porter”sunny days, everyday.

Bette was speechless; she realized Shane had seen something in her that she never saw in herself.It was more than flattering it was absolutely sweet. She stood quietly at first and then she sat on the bench, as did Shane. She reached for her Shanes hand and smiled that beautiful smile at her. Shane that is a beautiful sentiment, but believe me I’m very flawed and I have very stormy days. You see something in me that I am not. I’m not what I pretend to be. I thought you of all people would see past my faade. I am not strong at all. I realized that after I lost Tina. I realized so much about myself after I lost her. Shane, I thank God you were there for me as my friend when I was going through that. I could talk to you about anything and not be judged or ridiculed and thats why I love you so much. Shane I need you as a friend. I dont want to tell you how you feel or to diminish your feelings; but do you think maybe you just feel a strong connection to me and you may be confusing your feelings as romantic because you havent had strong emotional connections before?

Shane sat there quietly and thought about the question then replied, Bette it may be possible but I doubt it. I know I dont want to lose this”our friendship but at the same time the thought of being able to have more pulls at my heart-it actually breaks my heart because I know there is no real chance it could happen. And Bette I have seen past your faade and I know you arent as strong as youd like to be but the point is you are a lot stronger than you think you are. Seeing your vulnerability gave me a glimpse of the real you and thats what I like, your flaws. What you think are weaknesses are really your strengths and it makes you even more appealing. Bette I know you”I really know you and love you anyway.

Bette sat there silenced because she knew outside of Kit, Shane may have had a better understanding of her. Simply because she had only shown Tina what she wanted her to see. But with Shane she was more exposed, more revealed, and no one, not Tina or even Alice instinctively knew things about Bette the way Shane seemed to know. Bette also knew this was her fault for not letting Tina in as she should have.

They sat quietly on the bench hand in hand not knowing what to say or their next steps. Bette didnt want to lose her friend and she wouldnt jeopardize her relationship with Tina. It really is her everything.


What neither of them knew was that Tina had seen their emotional exchange including the near kiss from a several benches away as she was watching the kids play around. It took everything in her not to confront the unlikely couple. All of the feelings of betrayal and mistrust began to flood her mind. A repeat of Provocations, and the telling glimpse of interaction between Bette and Candace begin to repeat in her mind but this time its worse. This time its Shane, a supposed friend. Tina kept telling herself maybe she was misinterpreting what she was seeing. She decided not to confront them and wait for Bette to tell her about her encounter later in the day. I wont ask she has to volunteer this and if she doesnt; I have to leave. I cant keep putting myself in these positions where Bette walks all over me. God I pray she tells me the truth. Tina sat there as she watched the kids running around and kept one eye on the couple on the bench.


TBC