Recap from Ch 15…

Ive done some really stupid things lately and its all been out of fear. Fear of failing you, fear of losing you, fear of pressuring you

Weve gotta talk more. Weve gotta spend more time like this. If we dont Tina stops but Bette is already ahead of her

Were going to end up right back at that night all over again Bette admits sadly I know. Do you think that we need to get help?

No Tina slowly lifts her head to look at Bette I think we need to help each other. We need to take time to listen, take time just for us. No work, no friends, no family

No Foxworthy Bette raises an eyebrow

No Foxworthy, I promise Tina smiles, laying her head back in its resting place, wrapping an arm around Bettes waist Just us

Ch 16

So where do we go from here? Bette muses

Arent you supposed to be helping Kit today? Tina answers a question with a question knowing that Bettes was impossible to answer and only time would tell

Yeah, I said I would but Im sure shed understand if I told her I needed to take care of my dreadfully hung-over partner A sly grin spread across Bettes features

Dont you even think about it, Kit needs your help Tinas reply is stern

Are you going to do anything with the day? Bette raised an eyebrow in an accusing manner

Yeah, I plan to make a full recovery from this hangover Tina sighed running a hand through her hair and dropping her eyes from Bettes steady gaze And then I thought I might see whats on offer in the job market. I know we havent really talked about it but I think it would be good for me to go back to work Tina held her breath waiting for the response, pleased that she had finally raised the subject.

Back to Alphaville? Bette raised her eyebrows in surprise

It has crossed my mind. When I left Tim Johnson said that the door was always open. So it couldnt hurt to give him a call right? Tina went fishing for a more definitive response from her partner

I guess not Bette frowned, struggling to keep up with this new turn of events

Apart from that I thought Id just see whats on offer on a few of the industry websites

There was silence for a minute as Bette weighed up the pros and cons of Tina going back to work. There was a lot to consider and she didnt want to make a rushed judgment on this.

I think that Tina began but quickly faltered

Go on Bette encouraged

Maybe it was a mistake for me to quit work to have the baby Tinas voice trailed off

Uh-huh Was all Bette offered in response

I just think that it put too much pressure on us in ways that I never expected. I felt like I lost a part of myself when I quit and I think you felt it too Tina slowly looked up to find that Bettes attention was now elsewhere

Bette said nothing, only stared up at the ceiling and sighed

What are you thinking?

T, whatever you want is fine by me. Dont feel like you need to go back unless youre sure that its what you want. Id better get over to Kits Bette began to move from their bed, suddenly eager to get to Kits place.

Hey! Tina called and Bette froze Why are you running away so fast

I just need some space Bette replied, sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to Tina

Why? Tinas brow creased with concern at Bettes response

I can read between the lines, T Bettes voice full of pain

What? Tina moved swiftly to Bettes side and turned Bettes shoulder so she could see her face

The subtext clearly spells out that you no longer want to have a child with me Bette looked directly at Tina, on some level she actually wanted to hurt Tina, have her feel just a fraction of the pain that suddenly pierced her soul.

No, Bette Tina shook her head Theres no subtext and I have never said anything of a kind. That is a totally separate issue but youre right we do need to discuss it

Its not that separate, if youre going back to work then our family is on hold for the foreseeable future Bette pointed out, dropping her gaze to the floor

Well I think weve got to get ourselves a little more together before we can consider trying again. I dont know how long that is going to take and I dont want to sit around here waiting in the meantime Tina became defensive

Like I said T, whatever you want Bettes resigned tone only served to irritate Tina further. She had hoped that Bette would be a little more supportive of her decision, happy even.

Bette She sighed, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice

Really its fine Bette met her eyes and smiled a little too brightly Ive got to get to Kits place

Bette lent in to place a quick kiss on Tinas lips before rising off the bed to get ready.

Fine Tina sighed, resigning herself How long do you think youre going to be?

I should be back around mid afternoon. Do you want me to pick up anything while Im out?

No I dont think we need anything but just because youre running out the door doesnt mean that weve finished this discussion Tina warned

Ill see you later Bette smiled as she headed out of the bedroom, paying no attention to the warning

Tina pulled Bettes pillow over her head to muffle her frustrated groan as Bette shut the front door. Still suffering the effects of the night before, it was too much to even attempt to take on Bette. When she was in a mood like that no amount of rational pleading would make her see reason. She needed to simmer down of her own accord and helping Kit was probably a good cure.

Just after 4:00pm Bette pulled into their driveway. She looked down at the 12 long stemmed roses on the passenger seat and hoped that Tina was in a forgiving mood. This had been their first disagreement since they had reconciled and Bette found herself giving it too much weight. She picked them up and made her way toward their home on a mission to seek out Tina and apologize. She knew that her comments this morning had been out of line and it was selfish to expect anything from Tina let alone for her to carry their child any time soon. While in her own mind Bette knew that Tina was her always and forever, there was obviously some work to be done before this was going to ring true for the both of them. The house was uncomfortably warm and still with the summer heat. The mercury had hit 100 by lunchtime and it would be a while yet before the sun dipped into the Pacific allowing the evening to cool. She noticed the doors to the backyard pushed open and immediately moved toward them, knowing exactly where to find Tina. Sure enough she was in the pool sitting on the steps, the water lapping at her black bikini top, and her head thrown back resting on a carefully rolled towel. Sunglasses covered her eyes so Bette couldnt be sure if she was aware of her entrance. Truth be told Bette couldnt really care less, this was the most she had seen of Tina in the last two months and she had no intention of disturbing such an exquisite sight.

TBC