As Kit and Shane continued to talk neither noticed a very upset Bette walk into Radar. Bette was now a few feet away she had apparently been crying and she looked so hurt and defeated. Shane looked up from the turntables that separated her from Kit and her eyes immediately found Bette. Kit looked at Shane trying to read the expression on her face. She followed her eyes and saw her baby sister standing there in a word– broken. Before Kit could reach Bette Shane was there with open arms. Bette allowed herself to fall into her embrace. Shane held her friend whispering words of comfort to her over the blaring bass. Kit quickly changed the album she was spinning on the turntable and approached the unlikely pair quickly. She then grabbed Bette forcefully and held her in her arms. Shane was offended and taken aback until she heard a familiar voice behind her. The voice belonged to a person she hadnt given too much thought in the past few weeks. Tina had come to find Bette. She couldnt let things reside where they were. She wanted to confront the issues head on and to make Bette realize they were solid despite her feeble test from earlier in the evening. Tina was totally prepared to deal with working on their relationship she wasnt prepared to deal with Shane”not tonight. What Kit didnt know was that Tina had seen Bette fall into Shanes comforting embrace.

Shane its good to see you. You always seem to be there whenever Bette needs a shoulder. You shouldnt keep forgetting she already has someone for that.

Shane still hadnt turn to look at Tina or to respond”really what could she say?
______________________________________________
Shane turns to face Tina; the person she hadnt thought of at all over the past several weeks. Tina stares at Shane with an intensity that made Shane look away. For the first time since her confession of newfound feelings for Bette, guilt envelops Shane.

Shane: Tina Im not prepared to have a conversation about this and besides you came here looking for Bette. Evidently something is wrong you guys need to work out. I just hope its not about me.

Tina: Yeah right, you are supposed to be our friend yet you tell my wife that you love her. You dont think that would cause us any problems? Shane I dont know what your deal is but things cant be the same. I love Bette and I trust her. Its you I cant trust, you fucked it—you ruined it and I dont know why.

Bette: T, lets just go we dont need to start a scene we need to talk its not Shanes fault we are having problems and I cant let you blame her.

Tina: Bette Im not trying to blame Shane. I came here to talk to you but every time I turn around there she is”I just want to address this now. I need Shane to know theres no room for her to be anything other than a friend to you.

Bette knew Tina was right. She gave her and Shane time and room as she sat with Kit hoping finally this thing would be resolved. Bette knew that things had gone too far and she hoped that she would be able to keep her family intact. She wanted things to go back to the way they were. Before her infidelity, before she was attacked, when Shane was satisfied with being her friend and nothing more. These last few months had been pure ***** and everyday it seemed more obstacles would arise Bette reached for Kits shoulder feeling empty and tired of the wreckage that had become her life. She watched Tina as she and Shane walked towards the front of the Planet and prayed that whatever transpired she would still have her wife and her friend. Then she thought, Is that asking too much?

Shane: Look Tina you and Bette obviously need to talk. I dont want to get in your way. Believe me I never meant for any of this to happen.

Tina: Shane, tell me, exactly what is happening? Before you answer that you KNOW I love Bette and I am in love with her. We have been through a lot and it took me time to realize that love, our love is enough to make us last. I lost Bette once and I refuse to lose her again, not to you or anyone else. I just need to know Shane if you are the next thing Bette and I are going to have to get over?

Shane took a deep breath and for the first time looked Tina directly in her eyes. She felt her heart quicken at the sight of Tina, her forgotten friend. Seeing the love Tina has for Bette being reminded of that intense, real, all-consuming love she had always admired”the moment seemed so surreal. She hadnt really considered Tina at all but she had to be honest with Tina and herself. She had never considered being anything but a friend to Bette, until
Shane came back to the moment she had drifted off in her mind she wanted to find the right words to try to make this all make sense to Tina and to herself.

Shane: Tina you know I dont want to cause you or Bette any pain. Like I was saying I didnt mean for this to happen. When I use to think of Bette I would automatically think of you”it was always Bette and Tina. Tina I use to watch how Bette would look at you and I could always feel the love the two of you shared. I remember how she rushed home from New York just because she couldnt get you on the phone and how at first she was so disappointed that she had missed courting prospective board members and her big night that Peggy had planned for her, but within less than a second she was happy just to be back home with you and to know that you were okay. Bette has always loved you so much it was always evident. I guess I always thought that if Bette could love you the way she did there was hope for me to find that too. Shane sat smiling at nothing in particular, as she was lost in her thoughts again.

Tina sat there listening to her. Though Shane had never fully articulated these things none of this was news. She knew Shane held both she and Bette and their relationship in high esteem. But what happened, what led to Shane falling for Bette? Tina looked at Shane seeing her friend smile and reminisce about her relationship wasnt resolving the matter that faced them now. Tina needed Shane to snap out of it and explain this new development.

Tina: Shane I guess I know about all of that I need to know whats going on now. Why is it that you cant be happy that Bette and I are back together? Why do you think you have fallen in love with my wife?

Shane didnt appreciate the sarcasm in Tinas voice with that last question. Shane hated that she was even having this conversation but she respected Tina enough to try to explain. She took another breath and began again.

Shane: I saw her she was broken and devastated she wasnt strong she even seemed smaller somehow. I couldnt handle seeing her like that. It broke my heart.

Shane felt her eyes stinging with tears as she quickly looked away to avoid Tinas gaze. Tina found herself reaching out to Shane she had barely touched her hand when Shane quickly wiped the tears away and looked back towards Tina.

Tina said, Shane we all hated seeing Bette like that. God to know she had to endure that. The attack was awful but she is getting better and she will be okay. Tina said as she was still trying to connect the dots, to get a better understanding.

Shane: Oh Tina Im not talking about after the attack. God, that was awful too. I am talking about after you left her. She doesnt even know this but I would try to check on her. She made it fairly obvious she wouldnt talk to anyone on the phone but I would ride by the house and the first few times I would knock but she wouldnt answer the door. Tina I could see through the blinds she was sitting in the corner on the floor crying holding your picture. I never thought I would see her like that. There was nothing there to hold her up; no love, no peace; just her alone in a ***** of her own making. It broke my heart to see her like that. Bette has always been this beautiful, strong, self-assured, confident woman. Tina in that moment I knew that you and your love for her made her strong and confident.

Tina sat quietly listening to all of this, her heart breaking a little as she found Shanes words to be sad, tender, and somehow comforting. Shane glanced from the gaze she was holding with the floor and noticed Tina almost smiling. It interrupted her thought, but not for long. She wasnt trying to be mean but she knew if she had said something that Tina liked she wouldnt like what was to follow.

Then you took your love away and she was crushed. Shanes tone had changed. Her voice had become harsh and cold. Did she mean to hurt Tina? At this point she wasnt sure but she would continue with her account of how she had fallen for Bette. When I saw her, Tina I realized in that moment that Bette didnt necessarily deserve to be on the pedestal I managed to put her on. She, she isnt perfect, she was, is human, and vulnerable. When I saw her that night totally leveled, something snapped and in that moment I realized that despite what Bette had done she loved you even more than she realized. Her mistake showed her what you both managed to forget, love isnt about perfection. Its easy to love something thats perfect. Love is about imperfection and giving yourself completely in spite of flaws.

Tina sat there as she heard and understood exactly what Shane was saying this was definitely a new perspective that Tina hadnt considered she was letting this sink in listening to Shanes every word. Shane noticed she had Tinas total attention she could almost see the wheels turning in her mind as she watched her process what she was saying. Shane continued.

It was a mistake Tina. Something she never intended to happen, but it did. She isnt perfect. She holds herself to impossible standards and even I had her on the tallest pedestal I could imagine. The thing with pedestals, the higher they are, the further they fall. Shes a person who is fallible and though her infidelity hurt you she never meant to bring you that pain. To me she was crying out for help in that one desperate act. She needs love and Tina you couldnt give it to her. I understand you had every right to be hurt and upset and angry but you KNOW her and that simply wasnt her. Tina when I finally got a chance to speak to her I did what I thought I should. I encouraged her to get back with you if it was a remote possibility that you would take her back. I just wanted her to be happy. And the brief time we spent together I could see the images of the old Bette. I saw that I could help make her happy and it made me feel good. When I look at her its like I want to be better person for her. But more than that, I no longer prefer her on a pedestal; but here on the ground with me, hand in hand facing anything without running away. See if I were in your shoes it wouldnt have taken an attack to get me to go back to her because I wouldn’t have left. Bette needs unconditional love, and thats not what you give her. Shes harder on herself than you could ever imagine. I saw it. Right now I assume you two are arguing. Thats why she is here upset. Are you holding her to some unobtainable standard, have you moved from the past, are you allowing her to forgive herself, have you really forgiven her?

Tina sat dumbfounded not knowing what to say or do. This conversation had been an unbelievable ride. Shane had her feeling absolutely good at one point only to leave her low. Tina got up not wanting to hear anymore. She was confused and angrier with Shane and disappointed in herself but she didnt know why. As Tina got up Shane continue to speak as she carefully watched Tina not knowing what she might do. Shane repositioned herself moving away from Tina while saying, I want Bette to be happy, and if you can give her that, fine. But if you cant Tina I need to be able to try. The idea of being the one who gets to hold her and talk to her and ease her fears; I would love the privilege. I am sure it wouldnt always be easy but nothing worth having is always easy.


Tina stood there speechless as she felt her eyes burning with tears that she refused to let fall. If she were to start crying she knew she wouldnt be able to stop. She quickly glanced up to look for Bette. Bette noticed Tina and Shane still talking she wondered what was being said she saw the pain in both of their eyes and decided to make her way over towards them. Kit reached for Bettes arm and said, Baby girl let them talk this out. Your relationship with Tina isnt in any jeopardy regardless of whats being said over there. But their relationship is. Shane really needs to know whats at stake if she cant be happy with you two being just friends. They arent fighting. Its just getting a little tense. It will be okay just give them a few more minutes to talk it out. Bette gave Tina a strained smile as she sat down and quietly looked on.

Tina quickly changed her pained expression and winked at Bette and held up her finger gesturing as if to say give me a minute. She then turned her back to Bette and focused her attention back to Shane.

Tina: Shane Ive long considered you a friend and a good person. You have some really interesting insights to my relationship. But its just that, my relationship. Bette and I are together. Bette and I made mistakes but we are still together and will continue to be. Youve said a lot of things and Im glad everything is out in the open. You have answered my question. You are something else that Bette and I will have to get over. I hate that it has come to this. But really, I love her and I refuse to let you make me doubt myself. I refuse to let you assume my love for her isnt enough. What Bette and I share its between us. There is no room for you to be anything other than a friend to her and honestly you have crossed the line.

Shane stood there looking at Tina and then across the room at Bette and said you are right the line has been crossed but Tina I never meant to cross it that you have to believe. This is an impossible situation. I will stay away from her Tina. I hate that this has happened just tell Bette I said goodbye.

Bette had finally left the table her patience wearing thin hoping that she could get her wife and her friend back on the same page or least in the same book at this point. As she approached Tina Shane had already left. T, where is Shane going I tried to give you two space and time to work it out but I didnt think it would T sweetie whats wrong? Tina turned to Bette and buried her head into her shoulder and wept. Bette, babe this is so messed up. I am so sorry. Sorry? T whats going on?


TBC