Bette had finally left the table her patience wearing thin hoping that she could get her wife and her friend back on the same page or least in the same book at this point. As she approached Tina Shane had already left. T, where is Shane going I tried to give you two space and time to work it out but I didnt think it would T sweetie whats wrong? Tina turned to Bette and buried her head into her shoulder and wept. Bette, babe this is so messed up. I am so sorry. Sorry? T whats going on?
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Lets just go. We really need to talk. Tina said as she grabbed Bette by the waist tightly. Bette looked towards Kit and waved she motioned that she would call her later.

Bette walked Tina to her car and the silence was making her very nervous. T, whats going on what did Shane say to make you cry like this? Bette wrapped her arms around Tina as she felt her nervousness turn to fear. The earlier episode tonight of Tinas blatant mistrust would have to take a back seat for now, as Tina looked at Bette and said, Lets just go home. I will tell you everything. Bette quickly got in her car and followed Tina to the house. They walked in silence as they closed the door and Bette sat patiently waiting for Tina to reveal what had gotten her so upset.

Tina began, First off, I am really sorry about earlier tonight. I shouldnt have tested you. It was unfair and I am more aware of just how wrong I was now. Tina looked at Bette and hoped Bette would say something, anything but she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. She noticed Tina seemed to be searching her, waiting for a response so she finally moved closer to Tina and spoke. T, if we are going to be together we have to trust each other. Without trust this wont work. I accept your apology, but the question is do you think you will ever be able to trust me again? Bette braced herself. She asked the question not really knowing if she would be able to handle the answer. She momentarily closed her eyes as if she was praying and then she steeled herself and waited for what seemed like forever for Tina to respond. Bette, yes, I know I will. I want to be able to and it will take time and though you didnt appreciate what I did tonight with the, if she doesnt tell me she was with Shane scenario”the fact that you did tell me helped me to know that you trust me enough to deal with whatever comes our way. T, you have no idea how close I was to not telling you, only because to me it didnt have that much weight and because selfishly I want to keep you as my wife, lover, best friend, and soul mate. Bette smiled at that, because as much as she loved Tina she never really believed in soul mates before and as she thought about it, yeah, this is the first time that term has left my mouth not accompanied by a laugh or cynicism. Even Tina looked at Bette and replied, Thats a first.”As she chuckled and waved for Bette to continue. T, I want that, need that, and I also want to keep my friend. Shane is a good person and weve known each other for such a long time she is our family T. I dont know what happened but there has to be a way to fix this. Right?

Tina noticed she winced at the mention of Shanes name. Bette noticed too and really wanted to know what happened and how they ended up here.

Bette did you feel loved by me? Did you really feel that you could trust me with your entire heart before the affair? Bette sat there wondering where this was going. She wondered if any of this could get them back on track. At this point she would try anything. T, of course I felt loved by you and you have had my entire heart for a long time. But Tina quickly turned her head she was asking the questions but she didnt think these questions would reveal anything she didnt know Tinas gaze was focused on Bettes mouth. What words would leave it and crumble Tinas already unstable heart?

Bette hadnt looked up at Tina she wanted to choose her words carefully and looking at Tina right now eye to eye would only distract her, she finally let out a sigh and continued. But I dont think I always showed you how I felt about things. I always wanted to be someone you could count on to take care of you. I wanted to be strong and sometimes I thought I couldnt let my emotions show. Well thats not totally true”at times anger would make its presence known. I rarely missed an opportunity to let you know when you disappointed me. God, T I hate that I behaved liked that too. Im sorry, truly sorry. Bettes voice began to fade as she reflected on the times she wasnt very kind to Tina. She then quickly added, I hope I let my love for you show. I know that as the years progressed I didnt show you that love as much as I should have. But T, the things that I never really showed you were my fears, my doubts, and insecurities. I always thought if I showed you those things you would think less of me somehow. Months before all ***** broke loose -I told you Kit said that I let you see only what I wanted you to see. That was so true and after seven years I know I should have done a better job of letting you in. I just thought if you knew my fears and all that you wouldnt love me anymore.

Tina sat there and she took it all in. She knew that for Bette to admit this now showed how much she had grown, how much she trusted Tina now, with everything. Tina felt a little better but she knew they had so much work to do. Thank God they were still in counseling, Thursdays session would surely be interesting after tonights events. Bette I am glad you feel comfortable enough now to at least admit these things. I wont ever think less of you if you open up to me. Baby I love you. All of you and if you are scared I want to be the one that you come to, dont hide from me. Let me be there for you okay?

I know its okay now. T, whats this all about anyway? What did Shane say to you? Tina had promised she would tell Bette but really where should she begin? Tina took Bettes hand and looked into her eyes. Baby I thought, I thought that whatever Shane felt for you would be a crush or just misplaced concern after your attack but baby she has deep feelings for you. I dont know everything the two of you discussed, but she shared with me things she never told you. Shane said she hated seeing you so broken and devastated. I told her we all did. I assumed she meant in the hospital after your attack. She was referring to after I left you. She said she came by a few times to check on you and-Tina began to tear up, she saw you on the floor crying holding my picture you wouldnt answer the door. Bette quickly got up from the sofa remembering that feeling of complete emptiness and loss. That feeling, that image of herself, and those gut wrenching painful days that followed her after Tina left were unbearable to recall, the wounds werent fully healed and she wasnt sure they ever would be. Tina stood up and held Bette in her arms Bette allowed herself to relax and sat down once more. Tina looked at Bette searching her face, satisfied that she should continue. Shane went on to say that she realized the Bette she had known- strong, beautiful, and confident; that my love for you made you those things. Bette smiled and shook her head in agreement. Shane always knew what to say, she thought to herself. As Tina continued She then said that I took my love from you and left you crushed. Bette didnt think she would like where this would end and tried to interject but Tinas eyes pleaded for a chance to get it all out. Bette complied and sat there. She admitted she had managed to put you on a pedestal and that after seeing you so hurt when I left, she realized that you were human and capable of making mistakes. She told me that, how did she put it, that your affair was a mistake. That your mistake was a reminder that love isnt about perfection. It is easy to love something thats perfect. Love is about imperfection and giving yourself to someone completely despite the flaws. Bette sat there in awe of Shanes ability to understand something in a way she never had. T, that kind of makes sense doesnt it? Yeah, the whole Yoda thing is taking on new meaning for me. Baby the conversation was enlightening and really she made me think of things that I never would have but it gets kind of bad after this. How T? Well she said that you were human and would make mistakes but that she looked at the affair as you crying out for help because that kind of mistake just isnt you, anyone who knows you would understand that. She then went on to say when she finally got to see you, she saw glimpses of the old Bette”the confident one, and she saw that she could help make you happy, and that made her feel good and she wanted to be a better person for you. She no longer preferred you on a pedestal but on the ground with her hand in hand dealing with anything that came your way. She followed that by saying you need unconditional love and thats not what I give you; that you are incredibly hard on yourself and I too set unobtainable standards for you. And she finished up with”it wouldnt have taken an attack to get her back to you because she would have never left. Bettes mouth dropped open she was literally speechless”dumbfounded. She looked at Tina whose eyes were now filled with tears. Bette finally snapped out of it. T now sweetie, dont do this, Shane isnt Yoda”she doesnt know everything, this is our relationship and God, yes I want you to forgive me the affair. Remember at first I thought that would be asking too much, but Tina I love you. I want you in my life and you had every right to leave me after I betrayed your trust. Unconditional love -its great but baby if after the affair you knew you didnt want to be with me I would have to accept that. T, I know this has been asked and answered but I need to know two things. Can you really trust me again? Tina interrupted”Yes. It will be work but yes, she is right, this whole thing is a mistake that we can learn from, I believe that. I believe in you. Bette wiped Tinas tears away and reached out to her slowly caressing her face. She brought her in for a kiss so tender and soft. Tina was surprised but realized in that moment she needed to connect to Bette she deepened the kiss and took Bettes breath away. Wow T. Bette said as a slow smile came to her face the first real smile she had shown in this emotional evening. Tina smiled back at her beautiful wife and then said two things”you said two things. Whats the second question? Bettes smile quickly disappeared and she looked directly at Tina, You didnt come back to me just because I was attacked, did you? Tina sat up grabbed Bettes waist and said I am back because I love you. The attack was the catalyst I wont lie about it. It made me realize that this is where I belong not out of pity or fear but because you are home. With that Bette closed her eyes and smiled as a sigh of relief left her body and a single tear fell from a check. Tina reclined on the sofa with her arm around her wife as Bette rested her head on her *****. Fears revealed, work to do, but once again on stable footing. As she allowed herself to be at home with her wife with only one nagging issue pulling at her heartstrings -Shane, what were they going to do about Shane?

TBC