Who the ***** does she think she is? Coming round my house and kissing my fianc like that?!?! The nerve that woman has! I wouldve kicked her ***** if I wanted to. I knew she has the hots for Dana, I was just being kind to have let those two be friends but how does she repay me? She ***** kissed my fianc thats what she did! Urgh! That woman just needs a little beating. Hah! Ill show her who the lucky one is! Im marrying Dana no one else! She didnt ask Alice to marry her, she asked me… TONYA! Hah!

Tonya pulled Danas Subaru to a stop in front of Danas. She noticed Shanes truck parked in her space. Hmmm What the ***** is Shane doing here? I thought Dana hated Shane. Well at least Shane wouldnt kiss Dana like that crazy *****! She turned off the engine and climbed out the car. As she walked towards the front door, she heard laughter from inside the house. Theyre laughing happily! I wonder whats so funny

Tonya turned the handle to the door and walked in quietly.

yeah like the time when u were with her? Whats wrong with that Dane?

Haha well, that was embarrassing really but then it couldnt be helped. She really WAS great in bed!

So youre ok with that then? I mean now you know its the norm, and everyone craves it, youre fine with it?

Yeah, yeah I mean of course Dana replied sounding very unsure.

Oh come on Dane, Im sure youve experienced the same thing with Tonya. I mean youre marrying her for gods sakes! The ***** MUST be good!

Shane!!! Marriage isnt all about the ***** ok? Theres more to it than that!

Yeah I know but Im sure youve had the same experience down there as you did with Lara! I couldnt believe you thought female ejaculation was a bad thing!!!! By now Shane was laughing hard. She remembered the afternoon when Dana told them why she wasnt going to see Lara again because of that.

Shut up Shane!

You should see the look on your face that day!, still laughing.

***** off Shane! I havent experienced that since her you know?

By then, Shane has stopped laughing. Her expression turned serious and worried. What do you mean Dane?

I mean I havent actually, you know, with Tonya! Never. That was the only time I mean only when I was with Lara that it happened Danas voice soft.

Oh Dane. Im sorry. I didnt know. But hey as you said, marriage isnt all about the ***** right? Dana just sat quietly. Shane stared at her knowing the hesitation.

Well, Dane, you must really love Tonya very much then if it wasnt about the *****. I mean you know lesbians are

You know what Shane? I dont even know if I love her

You what? Oh come on Dana…

No really Shane. I, *****! I dont think I can marry her anymore!

Oh ok Dane. So, so what are you gonna do? I mean Tonyas been doing all the preparation for the wedding. It was gonna be the wedding of the century, I might add

I dont know Shane, I just… Dana was cut off by the sound of a door being slammed.

***** what the ***** was that? Shane stood up.

Dana walked over to the front window of the house and saw her Subaru sped off
—–

What is it that makes me so attached to her? Is it because Ive been dependent on her for so long? But even before I quit my job I have always been attached to her. *****, I have been attached to her since our first date! What is it about her? I wish I could let go just like that but its so hard. I love her too much to let go, I cant even stand the sight of her being hurt. Im such a fool. She brought this pain to me and to herself and Im worried about her? Something is seriously wrong with me. God, I cant let go. I love her too damn much. To see her breakdown like that, its just heartbreaking. I wish I could hold her in my arms and tell her things are going to be ok. But how are they going to be ok?

Tina wondered how she could get through this. How could Bette have the same effect on her as when they first met, even through her cheating? Tina ran her fingers through her hair thinking how she would go through life without her wife. Bete has always been there for her, through thick and thin, no mater what, she has always been there. But the last couple of years and even more so when Tina stopped working, Bette seemed to be preoccupied with work and spend less quality time with her. Its always been, she comes home and complain about her day at work, leaving Tina to comfort her. She would go on and on about her day while Tina listens attentively and consoles her wife. Tina would always have their dinner ready by the time Bette comes home.

It wasnt like that before. Before, they would come home together; Bette would pick her up from Alphaville Studios and take her home. Tina would cook and Bette would set the table. They would normally have beautiful dinner, even if it was just regular food, the conversation would flow nicely and they would end up in bed either making love or just holding each other tight whispering sweet words into each others ears. Their career werent their priority. It was spending time with each other. No matter how busy they both were, they always managed to spend time alone. And thats what has been missing; quality time.

Tina sighed. She wondered if her leaving Alphaville Studios was the cause of their fallout, her too dependant on Bette or her shutting down after they lost the baby? The baby The only time Bette was grieving for the baby was when she was being attacked by Faye Buckley on national TV. Tinas heart ached remembering what her wife went through then. She knew Bette was strong, even stronger than anyone she ever knew. But seeing her like that, being attacked by one stupid *****, it must have torn Bette to her core. She never broke down before. She was just so strong.

But is Bette that strong? Was it all just a faade? Bette wouldnt hide anything from her, would she? Did she think I couldnt handle her fall apart? Im her wife for gods sakes! Has she been keeping everything bottled up inside? Be strong for me? Protecting me? God Bette, I hope youre not that clueless. I love you, no matter what happen to you, Ill still love you. My love is unconditional! But why did you have to run to her instead of me? I wouldve pulled you through!

Tina was crying now, her shoulders shook uncontrollably. She looked at her finger; it looked bare without the ring. With tears streaming down her face, she stood up wiping the tears with the back of her two hands. She exhaled letting out a rush of air caught in her lungs. She smoothed her hair to compose herself of her drained state. She hasnt had enough rest and its only been a day since she last had Bettes arms around her while sleeping. She longed to be in those arms again, without all the complications. Tina closed her eyes pushing all those thoughts away. Her eyes were heavy and her body was limp. She was in need of a good rest, but she wasnt sure if she ever will considering the only place she ever feel rested was in her wifes arms.

She pulled out her cell from her back pocket and as she did that, the picture she took from their bedroom fell. She picked it up and stared at it closely. She traced Bettes face with her finger and slowly brought the picture to her lips. She kissed Bette and thought that was as close as she can get with Bette right now. She dialled Alices number. Come on Al, pick up. I need a ride to your place. The machine picked it up. Damn it! She dialled again. She tapped her foot waiting impatiently for Alice to pick up.

Hey someone said in a groggy manner on the other end.

Hey Al, Im sorry but do you think

Tina turned around as the front door swung open. The image in front of her caused her to stop her conversation with Alice, stopped her mind from thinking, stopped her feet from moving and most definitely had made her heart skipped a beat