A free prisoner with the doors open, and scared to leave

Shane looked at Carmen who was chatting with Jenny. All focused… intertwined into her thoughts… interested. Something that Shane felt that Carmen had for her, but obviously also has with Jenny. Except Jenny may be more open. Maybe. But Shane saw them, and how they just click. It was gut wrenching for Shane. She sighed as she watched Carmen tuck a strand of Jenny’s hair behind her ear while her beautiful full lips stretched to a smile. Shane was living in a new place with a new roommate who’s into her new love – well, person of interest…great interest? It’s been a little weird for Shane to interpret herself since Tab showed up at the salon, and then showing up at the old apartment and meeting Carmen. It was supposedly a “romantic” night that Carmen amazingly got Shane to do. Take out + a person of the past who’s been close but not supposed to be there = romantic. Who would’ve thought? But Tab’s been gone…just as suddenly as she appeared, she’s been put into the magician’s hat and hasn’t gotten out for two weeks. Now Shane sits and sees her current pursuit being taken over by Jenny. She gulped and twiddled her thumbs as she stares into the distance.

There was Bette, looking awful, standing in the dark corner, leaning against the wall – it was the only stable thing in her life keeping her up at the moment – puffing one of many cigarettes she’s had this night…while the other hand was married to a wine glass. Shane gave her a sympathetic look.

And there’s Tonya with her Dana – something that may not feel right for everybody *cough* Alice. Shane caught the sneer of disgust on Alice’s face as she saw Tonya tell Dana for the millionth and so odd time, “Dana, honey, you’re so cute! Look at you!” and leaned in to nuzzle noses. At that moment Alice took another swig of her beer.

Everything’s different; we think we’re ready for change in our lives, but can we really prepare for it? I mean, here I am in my new place, with all the girls…well not Tina, she’s at that guesthouse…I wonder what’s up with her–but anyway. It’s not a change like ‘Oh this is the girl I’ll ***** with tonight’ because lately it’s been ‘Oh this is the girl I can’t ***** tonight because she’s with Jenny, and she notices how distraught I am about the Tab deal’… People are moving on, and what do I do? …Something’s vibrating in my jeans – oh it’s my phone.

Shane slips her phone out of her jeans and takes a look at the ID. Carmen glances at her and sees Shane mouth the word “Tab” before Shane excuses her from the group.


-In the kitchen-

She leaned against the counter and immediately answers, “Tab? Where have you been?”

“Shane…”

Shane can hear a rough texture in her voice, like she’s straining to talk, but doesn’t exactly have a sore throat. “…Are you okay?”

“…I…Jamie…” Tab took in a hesitant breath, “She’s locked me up in her room…she’s threatening me…forcing me to–

“Tab, where are you?”

***

Can you feel your heartbeat racing?
Can taste the fear in her sweat?
It’s too far gone
These sheets tell of regret

Jamie held the knife at Tab’s neck with one hand, and held the cell phone at her ear. She whispered softly into her ear, “Tell her to go to Rick’s…and he’ll give her directions.” Tab just sat there, forcing herself to not fall into the power of this young fanatic’s hands, and glared at her. “Do it,” she scratched the knife against her neck making Tab wince slightly and moan.

***

I admit that I’m…just a fool for you
I am just a fool for you

Shane began to worry, all she heard was her strained breaths, “Talk to me, Tab…say something. Please?”

***

Here is where we both go wrong…

The knife pressed harder into Tab’s pale skin. Jamie nibbled on her ear. Tab gulped and she whimpered, “Go to the shop. And ask Rick for her address.”

Jamie clicked off the phone and kissed Tab’s cheek softly, “Good girl…that’s my *****.”

The words made Tab cringe, there was no way she’d let some girl say that to her if she wasn’t tied down, “I’m nobody’s *****.”

Jamie slapped her – knowing that her cheek was still sore from last night, slapping her every time Tab wouldn’t do what she’d be ask to do. She knew she enjoyed it, but she was holding back because she can’t get over past. Tab’s green eyes looked up at her, the pain immune to her now. She smirked at her tough look, “Nobody’s *****? You’ve been mine for two weeks.”

“What exactly does it prove to you that you tie me up and use me every night, and then abuse me…and blackmail me?”

“Shh..” she placed a finger on Tab’s lips, “Quiet. This is for Rick, not me.”

***

“Tab? Tab?” Shane repeatedly asked until she realized that she’s lost her. She looked down at her phone, contemplating whether to call back or to just go.

She starts to walk back, and stood there once all of her gals were in view…seeing them at their new point in their lives. Her heart froze as Carmen looked at her, a glare that wasn’t exactly good since she had her hand placed so carefree on Jenny’s thigh–but at the least their eyes were in direct contact. A few nights back she saw them kiss, and it felt different for Shane. She wasn’t sure how different…she really hasn’t ranked stuff like that before.

But then she noticed how Tab conjures after being gone without a phone call for not one, but TWO weeks, and it all seems a little too familiar. She may not find Tab in her beat up apartment because she’s long gone past those years of “getting back on her feet” yet she’s been knocked back down, and locked in a girl’s room. Not knowing if she’s even been fed…well fed actual food, you know. She looked down at the floor, she loathed this. De ja vu never makes a person feel good.

Shane looked up to see Carmen standing in front of her. “Hey…” Shane realized that this whole night she hasn’t said a word to her.

“Hey,” she replied shortly, passing by her to go to the refrigerator.

Shane nodded and scratched her head, “Um…so how have you been?”

Carmen took out a two beers from the fridge and shrugged, “To tell the truth, I’m actually doing pretty good.”

“That’s great…really great.” She looked down at her and gave her a little smile, hoping she’d smile back.

“Mmmhmm,” she opened the beer, “And you? How’s your friend…Tab?”

“Uh, funny that you say that…she just called.” Shane held up her phone and chuckled with a sheepish grin.

Carmen just smiled at her, but without baring her teeth, “How is she?”

“Not too good.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…it’s a long story, really crazy–

“That’s fine, you don’t have to tell me,” she said instantly, even though she’d die to know everything about the other side of this woman. “Hope things work out.” She walked up to her and kissed her on the cheek.

Shane just looked at her and nodded, dumbfounded at the friendly kiss, and a bit let down knowing that that was the farthest they’d go for a while, “Yeah. I hope so too.”

Carmen raised her beer toward Shane and then took a sip as she walked back to give the second beer to Jenny. Shane just looked at how connected they were and felt envy. She walked to the group and announced, “Hey guys, hate to go, but I have to meet up with a friend,” her eyes looked over to Jenny, but caught Carmen’s first, “Uh…and uh…Jenny, I’ll see you later tonight okay?”

“Okay Shane, have fun,” she said with a calm voice.

With that Shane just nodded at everybody else and walked out into the night. The cool air refreshes her senses, and the dark blanket of night welcoming her once again.

***

Shane pulled into Rick’s parking lot, and quickly turned off the engine, she was on a mission to find Tab, and also to get her mind of Carmen for the time being.

She opened the door and saw Rick behind the counter working on a guitar. She rarely ever saw him work, it was usually Tab, she was his right hand woman, who he taught her the skills many summers ago. “Shane…what are you doing here? Come to take this place too?”

Shane scoffed, remembering those were one of the first words Tab ever said to her, “No. But I guess being a ***** to some curious costumer must be part of the contract.”

Rick laughed, “What are you trying to say about my employees?”

“Nothing, they can just be quite rude…but that’s okay. I’m here to get um…Jamie’s address.”

“Oh right. Jamie, I mean, Tab called. Yeah, here, let me write it down for you…” Rick grinned at her, a grin made by the force of evil.

Shane noticed how odd he was acting towards her. Surprised that he hasn’t kicked her out of the shop the minute she stepped foot inside. He finished writing and handed it to her. “Thanks, Rick,” she softly said as she read the address.

He just nodded and proceeded to working on the guitar, “Mmhmm, you be good now. Bye.”

Shane raised her eyebrow and stuffed the paper into her pocket, “Okay. Bye.”

***

Jamie looked out the window as she began to take off Tab’s restraints. Her phone rang and she picked it up, “Hey Rick, she’s on her way? Great. Bye.” She threw her phone against the couch and looked at Tab, “Rick put you on a task, and you’re going to do it.” She caressed Tab’s face, and placed a light kiss on her lips.

Tab just sat there, not reacting to the kiss, and just nodded, “Okay.” She looked down at her hands and ankles…scathed from the first time she tried to free herself. She felt cold and warmed herself up with her arms. “Can I ask you a question…”

“Huh?”

“Where are your parents…I mean, this is their house right…?”

Jamie glared at her, “No time for questions.” She slipped out of the front door, and locked it.

I had the whole world in my hands, but i gave it away…
I had the whole world in my hands, but i gave it away…
Gave it away

Tab just sat on the couch, looking at herself. She felt so different. She looked at her knife on the coffee table that Jamie has used against her, and on her. Her security that she used on others has been placed upon her countless times in the last few weeks. And it felt good.

So cruel, so poise
Its true, I’m just around to see
Where this thing goes
I’ll never know, but all I know is
I’m back in bed
It’s a remedy, its a remedy.

The doorbell rang. Tab quickly got up and ran her fingers through her hair. She took in a breath and opened the door. Shane saw her and hugged her, “Oh my god, Tab…you look horrible.” She pulled back from her, and held onto her shoulders as she looked her over.

Tab saw the gleam of worry in her eyes. “Yeah…” She looked down on the ground to see an In and Out bag. “Holy ***** you brought food…”

Shane chuckled softly, “Yeah. Where’s Jamie?”

“She’s not here–

“Then let’s get out of here–

“No, I can’t…” Tab shook her head, feeling insecure, “If she knew I left, she’d just find me again…***** me up more…”

Shane looked into her eyes, “You know, it’s okay, even prisoners who get let out feel insecure about stepping back into the world. But if you stay, all she’s gonna do is use you…and hurt you.”

Tab walked over to the couch and patted the space beside her, “I know. But I’ll work it out.”

Shane grabbed the food and placed it on the table and sat next to her. She looked at Tab’s wrists, and ran her finger along the marks, “Ouch, Tab…” She searched into Tab’s murky green eyes, “This girl had you really tied up…”

Tab nodded, “Yeah…”
–
Look at this girl, she’s someone I’ve known in the past, but I’ve never really seen someone take her over like this. She’s so pale…she looks so weak…
–
“I’m just glad you’re here. I haven’t seen anybody for two weeks. It’s just been me and Jamie. Well not all the time, when she was gone for school, that’s when she’d tie me up in her room–but even when she was home, she’d torture me. She doesn’t feed me much. She just makes me eat her..you know…” Tab sighed and leaned over with her elbows on her knees.

Shane saw the cuts and bruises along her arms, and knew that they didn’t stop there. She placed her hand on Tab’s back and rubbed it gently. “Well there’s food here now. And I’m glad to be by your side…”
–
Actually, I’m just glad that someone wants me…but should I be glad that it’s Tab? She is beautiful..but what do I want…who do I want…
–
Tab smiled genuinely and leaned in to kiss her warm lips softly. Shane placed her hand on her shoulder to stop her, “Tab…aren’t you hungry?”

Tab shook her head and looked down, “Actually…I think I’m going to take a bath. Do you think you can go find a towel for me?”

Shane nodded, “Sure, whatever you want.”

“Thanks.”

***

Shane held the white towel in her hand as she searched around for the bathroom, then she thinks, “Well no *****, it’d be the room with the lights on…” She knocked on the door of the bathroom and she noticed that it was unlocked, “Hey Tab, I found a towel for you.” The steam of the water wafted out of the room, and it felt good against Shane’s face.

“Thanks, you can just set it down anywhere…”

Shane stepped into the bathroom and placed it onto the sink. She glanced over at Tab who was sitting upright in the tub, with the water above her chest. Thankfully she couldn’t see anything, or she’d be all over her… something about seeing Tab dismantled is damn *****. Cuts, bruises and all. She wanted to make her feel better.

She’s a maveric, she’s so smooth…
If thing’s go according to plan, I’ll have her finished by five a.m.
There’s no turning back, there’s no second chance,
I’ve already got both feet through the door
And I can taste the air, I can taste the air

Shane didn’t notice she was staring at Tab bathing herself, “*****, sorry.”

This time I’d be nervous ’cause I can’t see your hands
In front of me…
Tonight, I’ve spoken
I’ll pretend to want and think of what we should be
What liars we can be

Tab shrugged, “It’s nothing you’ve never seen before. I don’t mind if you’re in here.”

“Okay, cool…” Shane walked over and sat on the clothes hamper that was by the tub.

“So…how are things with that woman of yours, Carmen…” Tab leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

Shane looked at her bare neck, seeing the marks of a knife, she sighed, “Carmen’s not my woman…”

Tab opened an eye to look at Shane, her composure a bit down once she asked about Carmen, “Do you want her to be?”

“…”

Tab closed her eyes again, “Yeah you do…”

“How can you say that, you’re not me–

“Of course I’m not you. But I’ve never seen yourself hold back like this around me before.”

“Well, you’re going through allot…”

Tab took Shane’s hand, and Shane finally looked her deep into her green eyes, “I know I’m going through allot. We both are going through allot…but we don’t have to put our personal lives into this…unless that’s what you want to do.”

Shane looked down at her, she was always truthful to the point that it seemed fake, but the way she talked always swindled her feelings in the right direction. Well, most of the time. “You’re right…I actually came to get my mind off of certain things.”

Make a sound, it’s safe for you,
Choking here, alone.
Whatever I say goes

Tab laughed, “Certain things…that’s not a nice way to label Carmen–

“***** you,” Shane laughed.

Tab nodded and smiled, “Okay. Fine with me.”

Shane eyed her, and smiled as she leaned down to kiss her.

Whatever I say goes…

***

Carmen and Jenny sat on the couch, watching TV for about an hour after the girls left. It was an old episode of I Love Lucy…well all episodes are old, but you know what I mean. The two laughed. Carmen spoke, “It’s great how these episodes can never get too old, and still be hilarious.”

“I know…” Jenny looked at the clock, “Wow, it’s getting late…you sure you don’t want to head home?”

Carmen shrugged, “Why? Trying to get rid of me? Hahaha.”

“No no, of course not.”

“I just want to give you company. I never really like being alone.”

Jenny searched Carmen’s deep brown eyes, “You’re waiting for Shane to come back aren’t you…”

You’re not everything, you’re not here with me