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    Oh What The Bleep? Ch. 4

    Alice: Holy *****.

    Shane: Oh *****.

    Bette: No way. There cant be. THERES TWO???

    Alice, Bette and Shane stared at the two (BLEEPS) in total confusion. It was weird enough that Helena had Tinas (BLEEP) but to have another identical (BLEEP) was just plain weird. Bette picked up the (BLEEP) and turned it over carefully in her hands. She inspected it closely to try and figure out if maybe this one was Tinas (BLEEP) and the one in the desk was someone elses. Alice was watching Bette peer at it and finally she had enough.

    Alice: Will you stop staring at it already Porter? Yes its a (BLEEP)just like Tinas.

    Bette: How do you know this isnt Tinas (BLEEP)?

    Alice: Becausesee hereTinas (BLEEP) doesnt have this

    Bette: Ohhuhyoure righthow did you know that?

    Alice: She showed it to me

    While Bette stared at Alice like she could murder her, Shane took the (BLEEP) from Bettes hand and examined it for herself. She turned it over a few times as well and after looking closely at it she gave Bette a nod.

    Shane: Yupthis isnt Tinas. Her (BLEEP) doesnt have this either.

    Bette: Youve seen her (BLEEP) too? Up close? Is there no one she hasnt shown it to???

    Alice: Im guessing Jenny hasnt seen it yet.

    Bette: Well thats not saying much now is that? Oh forget it. Come on guys we still have to get Tinas (BLEEP) and get the ***** out of here.

    The three girls walked back over to the desk and stared at the now charred remainder of what was a drawer. Bette was getting frustrated at the position they were in and she finally kicked the desk out of anger. Alice and Shane saw this and they both looked at each other for a second.

    Alice: Come on Bette thats not helping. Lets just figure out a way to get the desk open okay?

    Bette: No more figuring out for you. Youve done enough.

    Alice: What the ***** does that mean Bette?

    Bette: You know what it means. First you get me to break into Helenas office then you accidentally seal the drawer closed. With any more luck youre going to get us caught before we even have a chance to get Tinas (BLEEP).

    Shane: Woah okay you guys enough. We need to think rationally. Alicedo you have any kind of sharp objects in your bag? Like a knife or something? Maybe we can pry it open or something.

    Bette: Shane we cant pry anything open. This thing is sealed tight.

    Alice: Hold on now. I have another idea.

    Bette: Oh brother.

    Alice smirked at Bette as she dug around in her bag once more. Bette already was getting nervous at whatever Alice was about to pull out given the last time she looked into her bag she came out with a blow torch. Alice dug around a little bit and this time she pulled a hammer out, with a quite triumphant smile on her face. Bette and Shane looked at each other wearily as Alice stood in front of the desk and told them to back up.

    Alice: Okay you guys stand back.

    Alice stuck her free hand out motioning for them to move as she cranked her arm back. Even before Alice took a swing Bette had a bad feeling about this. Alice swung with all her might. CLANK.

    Bette: ***** Aliceshhhhhh all that noise is gonna bring that stupid ***** security guard back.

    Alice: Well do you have any better ideas?

    Shane: How about this Al?

    Shane took a rag from Alices bag and wrapped it around the end of the hammer. She took the hammer and swung again but this time the noise was sufficiently less than it was before. She kept swinging and swinging until she managed to poke a small hole in the drawer. Bettes face visibly brightened at this and she eagerly waited for Shane to make the hole bigger. Shane kept swinging away and finally she had a hole big enough for her hand to fit through. Or so she thought. Shane stuck her hand in the hole to grab the (BLEEP) but as soon as she did her face fell.

    Shane: Oh ***** guys

    Bette: WHAT?

    Shane: Im stuck..

    Alice: What?

    Shane: My handits stuck.

    Alice and Bette grabbed onto Shanes arm and pulled with all their might.

    Shane: OWWW ***** YOU GUYS

    Bette and Alice mumbled sorry to Shane as they tried to figure out how to get her arm unstuck. Bette tried to pull again but Shanes cry of pain stopped her. Alice grabbed the hammer and tried to pry her arm out but it was no use. The drawer wasnt going anywhere. Alice had another bright idea just then so she dug in her bag until she found what she was looking for.

    Shane: Alice what the ***** is that?

    Alice: Liquid nitrogen. Now hold still.

    Shane and Bette together: ALICE

    But their cries fell on deaf ears as Alice poured the liquid onto the drawer. Shanes face scrunched up in anticipation and Shane felt her arm almost go numb from the coldness of the nitrogen. Alice let it cool for a few seconds before she took the hammer and smashed the drawer shattering the pieces of the now frozen metal. Shane pulled her hand out as fast as she could trying not to get any of the metal stuck in her arm and she withdrew her hand so fast she flung the (BLEEP) into the air. It landed next to the other (BLEEP) and Bette ran over with a look of worry on her face.

    Bette: Which one is it?

    Alice: I dont know

    Shane: ***** Al

    Alice just shot Shane a look that said grow up as they stared at the (BLEEP) and tried to figure out which was which.

    Bette: I think this is it guys

    Alice: No manTinas (BLEEP) didnt have that right there

    Bette: Yeah but her (BLEEP) didnt have that right there on the other one..

    Shane looked back and forth between Alice and Bette who were now arguing over the (BLEEP).

    Alice: Bette Im telling youthis is her (BLEEP)

    Bette: And Im telling you its notTinas (BLEEP) wasnt this color.

    Alice: Theyre the same color Bette!!!

    Shane sighed and picked them both up. After carefully studying them she came to her conclusion.

    Shane: This is it guysthis is Tinas (BLEEP).

    Alice: Are you sure?

    Shane: Yeah Althis is hers

    Alice: Okaynow lets get out of here

    Alice went to gather her things and as they were walking out Bette stopped and looked at the (BLEEP) in her hand. She turned it over and stopped dead in her tracks.

    Bette: Guysthis isnt her (BLEEP).

    Shane: How do you know?

    Bette: I just know.

    Comments

    1. LMFAO!! damn this story is the funniest i have read in a while.. damn i have no fucking clue to what it is.. i thought wedding ring to? but no im thinking No.. hmmm shit we need a hint! I love this story!

    2. LMAO! Get involved with Alice……….and it’s sure to end up a mess, with hilirarity to ensue (guranteed), and you end up having to double back again for even more hilirarious moments! LMAO! :D

    3. First time commenting….thanks for laughs, brightens my day. I’ve given up hope trying to figure out the BLEEP…each time I think I know, something in the next chapter makes me re-think…..aarrgghh!

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