When had it all become so confused? Was it when she accepted Bette as co-parent? Was it when the two of them had ***** a few days before? Or was this just an offshoot of the ongoing confusion that had been a part of life since Bette’s affair. Tina wasn’t sure which of these it might be, but she was beginning to wonder if defining things so precisely would really make a difference.

All she really knew was that when she saw Bette, spoke to Bette, it was like she was transported back eight years in time.

While Helena brought a certain warmth and sensuality, Tina knew that she never reacted to Helena the way she reacted to Bette. The sound of Helena’s voice never started the butterflies in her stomach. A light touch from Helena didn’t make her skin feel totally alive, as a similar touch from Bette would.

At first Tina was terrified that Bette had been invited to the dinner. After all, what was she to say. ‘Thanks for the *****, let’s do that again sometime?’

The pull to Bette was still present, still undeniable. But the trust was the weak point. Could Tina possibly open herself, make herself vulnerable again?

She remembered a time when she was the one gaining Bette’s trust. How nervous she had been then, also.

They had been living together for a few months, which in many ways had been like a honeymoon. But as wonderful as it all sometimes seemed, Tina realized that there were parts of herself that Bette always held back. There were aspects of her personality that she wouldn’t share with Tina, or probably wouldn’t share with anyone.

For herself, Tina varied between enjoying Bette’s confidence, and feeling frustrated that her lover wouldn’t or couldn’t put the same level of trust in her that Bette could inspire in Tina. She wondered if the lacking element was something of her, something of Bette, or a combination of the two of them.

Whatever it might be, Tina decided that she’d had enough, and wanted to take action.

The following Friday night, while Bette was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in silk pajamas, preparing to sleep, Tina crawled up behind her and threw her arms over Bette’s shoulders. “Do you want me?” Tina whispered.

A smile grew on Bette’s face. She tried to turn, to face her lover, but found that Tina was in a position to use leverage to keep her in place. “Hold on Ms. Porter,” Tina continued. “I want you, but I want you to give yourself to me.”

The smile changed to a look of caution.

Tina took the offensive, sucking and kissing on Bette’s neck, keeping her grasp. “Are you willing?” she asked, waiting for her dark-haired lover’s response.

“Tina.” It was as much a moan as a word. “You’re driving me crazy.”

“Is that a yes?” Tina sucked on Bette’s earlobe, waiting for a response.

Arching her back, trying to press herself against Tina. “Yes.” Bette agreed. “***** yes.”

Now it was Tina’s turn to smile. This was progressing better than she had planned. “Ok, what’s your safe word?”

“Safe word?” Bette was quiet for a moment. “Pittsburg.”

Tina placed more kisses on Bette’s neck, and then released her grasp on the other woman. “Wait there.” She began digging through the stand next to her side of the bed.

Bette turned towards the sound. “Oh no,” Tina admonished. “Keep your eyes straight ahead.”

When Tina returned to Bette’s side, she slipped a blindfold over the other woman’s eyes.

The immediate reaction from Bette was to put her hands towards her face.

“You said you trusted me,” Tina whispered, the warmth of her breath teasing Bette’s sensitive ear.

Bette dropped her hands.

Tina moved from the bed and let herself smile, seeing her lover sitting passively before her. “Arms out, Porter.”

Bette put her arms out to her side. Tina reached towards Bette and started to unfasten the buttons on her pajama top.

Instinctively, Bette grasped for Tina, but Tina slipped back from her reach.

“I said arms to your side.” She stood several feet away, waiting for Bette to comply.

When Bette again held up her arms, Tina completed removing the pajama top. She rewarded Bette with a series of deep kisses, listening to the whimpers as she pulled herself away.

“Stand up,” Tina commanded.

Arms still out, Bette complied, and stood before the bed.

Tina knelt before her love. She pulled down the pajama bottoms and got Bette to step out from them. It was all she could do to keep her mouth from Bette. She was so close, and could smell the musky scent of Bette’s arousal.

Tina slipped in finger between Bette’s folds, confirming how wet her lover had become. “Is this for me, Ms. Porter?” she asked, her voice deep, throaty.

“Yes,” Bette responded, backing up the answer with a nod.

Withdrawing the finger, Tina, noting how Bette’s face reflected her disappointment. She brought the finger to her mouth, smelling it, and then loudly sucking on it. “Mmmm.”

Tina placed the finger on Bette’s lips, and it was quickly sucked into Bette’s mouth, cradled by her tongue. “You so want to be fucked.” Tina withdrew the finger, and ran it around the areola of each of Bette’s *****, watching the dark skin pucker and the nipples grow even harder.

Bette eagerly nodded. “Yes.”

“What’s that?”

“Please?” Bette asked, her voice taking on a pleading quality?

“Please what?”

“Please,” Bette swallowed. “Please ***** me.”

“Lie down,” Tina commanded. Bette eagerly complied, lying in the middle of the bed.

Tina went back to the drawer and pulled out a silk scarf. As she tied one end around one of Bette’s wrists, she could feel Bette beginning to tense up.

“Trust me,” Tina whispered. She covered Bette’s mouth in another kiss, and was not surprised by the eager assault from Bette’s tongue.

Bette tried to grab Tina in an embrace, but Tina slipped away.

“Arms above your head.”

With a groan of frustration, Bette complied.

Tina tied the other end of the scarf to the other wrist. “Keep these up here, or I’ll stop.”

Bette grasped the top of the mattress and nodded.

Now, Tina began her exploration of her lover in earnest. On all fours on the bed, she tried to touch Bette with only her mouth. She let herself savor each of Bette’s *****, alternating between sucking in the soft flesh and using her teeth to gently tug on the tender nipples.

With Bette Porter finally giving her complete control, Tina was so lost in the sensations, and how her own body was enjoying the pleasure that she was giving, that she didn’t quite sense the growing need of her partner.

To demonstrate this need, Bette arched her hips, clearly indicating where she wanted Tina’s attentions.

This level of writhing made Tina smile. Bette was being so compliant, yet still found a way to be demanding.

Not yet ready to bring this to an end, Tina slipped off the bed.

Bette’s look was now almost one of anguish. Tina watched as Bette curled her toes into the bedding, attempting to gain better purchase, and thrusting her hips higher. As if this would, in some way, provide for the much-needed release.

Feeling the need to alleviate her lover’s suffering, Tina crawled forward from the foot of the bed, slipping her shoulders under Bette’s legs.

With one hand, Tina slowly peeled apart Bette’s outer lips, taking a moment to enjoy the sight of Bette, fully exposed.

Employing deliberate slowness, Tina slipped her tongue within Bette. Touching the tip to Bette’s *****.

The response was immediate and forceful, as Bette’s hips thrust again, trying to force herself into Tina’s face.

Tina complied with Bette’s desire, understanding that while her lover had thus far participated openly in this game, that Bette did have her limits. She buried her mouth in Bette’s core, exploring, nipping, licking. She used every trick that Bette had taught her, wanting to provide the same level of pleasure that Bette had consistently brought to their lovemaking.

And it wasn’t very long before Tina felt Bette arch again and hold herself in place, followed by the gentle spasms that continued from the *****.

Slipping free, wiping her mouth en route, Tina lay down next to Bette. She snuggled against Bette’s side, placing a leg over Bette’s center, and feeling Bette’s thighs clamp her leg in place.

Tina slid back the blindfold, watching as Bette blinked, becoming accustomed to the low light of the bedroom.

Bette slowly turned her head, capturing Tina’s gaze with her own. “That was incredible.”

Tina met the words with a kiss. “Thank you.” While working free the knots in the scarf, Tina gave Bette another kiss. “Thank you,” she repeated, hoping her kisses conveyed the same sentiment.

“That was incredible.” Her arms freed, Bette wrapped Tina in a close embrace. “I think I should be thanking you.”

“No.” Tina let her fingers wander, making lazy circles across Bette’s stomach. “Thank you for trusting me.”

To that, Bette smiled. And Tina knew that she had chosen the right way to ask for Bette’s trust, and to show that the trust would be cherished, and not betrayed.

But that was so long ago, before everything, before the miscarriage. Before Candace.

Even so, Tina knew she had already started to give Bette chances. And so far, in all ways, Bette had exceeded her expectations. Maybe it was time to take that next step.

Perhaps there was still enough of their relationship, something could be salvaged.

Tina took in a deep breath, and let it out, willing herself to relax, willing her heart to stop pounding.

“I’m going over here,” she whispered to Helena, stepping away from the other woman.

Stepping towards Bette, and possibly stepping towards her future. Tina now knew that the only way to see if she and Bette might even have a future is if she could again find a way to put her trust in Bette.

Willing to take that chance, Tina approached Bette. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was going to say, but she wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip away.

Tina took one more step forward. One step, perhaps, towards her future.

(the end)