Waking in the morning Bette felt more rested than she had for a long time and the pain seemed to recede in the face of this new energy. Focused as she was on her happier feelings she failed to notice Kit until a groan roused her from her thoughts.
Looking over she found Kit holding her loosely and remembered her dream.
But the voice that she heard couldnt possibly have been Kits. Could it?
Dismissing her thoughts as Kit woke and rose, she moved to the bathroom to freshen up and found Kit in the kitchen with freshly brewed coffee.
Thank you for staying last night. Bette said
No problem Bet, but do you get those nightmares every night? Kit asked concerned


Nodding Bette sipped her coffee and leaned against the counter. Kit was floundered, she didnt know what to say now she knew. She couldnt tell Bette to sleep more even if she needed it, she knew that Bette tortured herself during the day enough as she did but to find no reprieve in her sleep, she didnt know how to help but she knew that the only cure would be Tinas forgiveness.


As Kit was lost in her thoughts, Bette was getting ready for work. In her bedroom getting changed Bette was confronted with an emptiness when she saw Tinas clothes hanging despondently and lifeless without their vibrant owners presence.


Changing and checking her files she moved towards the living room when a fluttering caught her eye. Looking at the paper she realised it was the card from the flowers, tracing the script she remembered the words in her dream and the safety she felt.
Where are you? Her mind called longingly for her protector.
Kits call made her move to get to work but not before slipping the card in her pocket.

Hugging Kit one last time before getting into her car, Bette looked at her house and saw it shine and bask in the sunlight but knew that the interior showed only darkness much like herself at the moment. Shaking off her feelings and introspection, she headed to work.

The day passed as usual only at lunchtime a bouquet of flowers were delivered, Bette felt giddy, it had been a long time since she had felt this way and she was almost happy but felt something missing. She wished that they would appear but knew that all she could do was wait.


God I miss you she thought as an image of her protector came to mind. Wondering about the times that they were apart Bette spent the better part of the rest of the day lost in memories and questions.
Getting home looked at her house and decided that she definitely needed to get her life back on track.

Ordering takeout she set to work cleaning up the mess she had left. Getting through the night with only a bottle of alcohol Bette felt relatively better but when she looked at the pool memories assaulted her mind as she remembered Tina and the fun they had had.

Tina and her had only moved in a few days ago and had taken a few days off of work to organise everything. Watching Tina floating in the pool with the glistening water droplets caused Bette to feel really hot and she decided to cool off. Slowly moving into the pool she captured Tina in a passionate embrace and began to tease Tina with fleeting caresses.

Despite the nice feelings coursing through her at this memories Bettes mind resolutely began to show her a comparison of her last time with Tina. Unable to dispel these images and the feelings they brought Bette was starting to feel sad again. Fighting like she had she found her way to another bottle if only to block out everything.

Waking up with a hangover Bette knew that she had to stop this cycle but didnt know where to begin.

So it continued with her days interspersed with giddy and nice feelings at old memories and flowers and then with guilt and shame and nausea when her actions came back at her.


Candaces appearance didnt help, in fact if anything, it only caused a bigger rift and depression in Bette. Kit tries to help but she could only help so much before Bette would blow up. Anger seemed to be an outlet for Bette aside from alcohol and the two left a volatile combination especially late at night.

When Candace had come into her office during her 2nd – 3rd week of separation from Tina, Bette had almost lost it. Her words were cutting with the guilt fuelling her actions but it was Candaces seductive manner that almost caused Bette to throw her out of her office literally.

Candaces words had only inflamed Bettes fraying mind and control over her anger.
Bette, you cant honestly tell me that you dont want me now that youre free, you couldnt resist me before. Candace had seductively and condescendingly said whilst moving gracefully and provocatively towards Bette.


With her nauseated stomach Bette had almost laughed out loud at her actions but the avalanche of guilt, shame and absolute soul shattering pain that accompanied the provoked images and their aftermath, had thrown Bette temper into the red zone.
What you and I had was absolutely nothing, God! You and I both knew that it was only a ***** and now you *****, want to get together? Its you and your charms that have caused me to lose everything and you still think that I want you? Get out before youre thrown out. Bette hissed.
Candace started up again.
Come on Bette, you know you want me, you cant resist me Sliding right up to Bette and whispered in her ear. Enraged Bette was about to do something when the phone rang.

Answering then getting James to escort Candace out, Bette leaned heavily against the wall that she was at and her mind blurred

Not even the flowers which now were delivered daily with their cryptic messages had cheered Bette up. That night, Kit had dragged Bette out to Milk and wanted her to start going out socially. But Bette just sat at the bar and proceeded to get drunk.

Kit and Ivan had to drag her from the bar which near led to an altercation as Bettes ability to distinguish between friend and foe diminished and changed.
It became alcohol good, people bad. Slumped in the back of Kits car she rested with no dreams.

Kit had stayed with her and found her collection of florist cards which had been laid lovingly on the bedside table. Each one seemed tattered as the repeated handling of them no doubt caused a wrinkle here and there.


Wondering who would be sending Bette flowers, she became angry as she recognised the words. Walking to the living room she found the bouquet of lilies, of which she had no doubt was merely one of many.
Settling on the couch she wandered about Bette and what had happened that night so long ago and how she would deal when her protector decided to no longer hide. Try as she might Bette had never told her what had happened that fateful night.


Angry as she had been she could fault Leo for leaving, in fact she knew that Leo had thought it was for the best. Her last thought as she drifted off to sleep was how long it would be before everything was revealed.




tbc…