“Hey, um, you know what you did to me before?” She looks down, not meeting my eyes.

Oh, *****. What is this? I close my eyes and bite my lip. “Yeah.”

“I want it again.”

I pull away and look at her. Her gorgeous eyes are cast down, and her cheeks are flushed with embarrassment. Then she looks up and the look in her eyes makes me churn inside. She looks desperate, eyes wild and scary. I cannot ***** believe she just said that.

“No.”

“Please.”

“No. Last time, I-”

“I trust you.”

“No, Shane. Not unless we talk about this.”

“I’m in no condition to talk. Please.”

“Then you’re in no condition to be tied up and at my mercy.”

“I liked it.”

“I violated you!”

“And now I’m asking you. I just need to feel safe. Please. I trust you.”

“You felt safe?”

“I will now. D, please.” I look into her eyes and try to understand her desperation. And I think I do. Because it is rooted in the same reason for which I wanted to top her in the first place. “I trust you.”

“But I’m afraid to give it to you, Shane. Because last time I almost lost you.”

“You won’t lose me.”

“Sometimes I think I do. On a regular basis.”

She is quiet, laying back and staring at me. Neither one of us seems to know what to say for a long minute.

I lie on my back and stare into space. “I think I would do just about anything for you. But I don’t know if that would be good for either one of us.”

“D, please. I really need this right now.”

“Then explain to me. Why is this what you need?”

She just stares at me, lips mute but so much going on beyond her eyes.

“I dunno.”

“How do you feel?”

“Fine.”

I touch the hollow between her *****, down to her belly. I can hear her rough breath.

“Sweetie, if we are going to do this, then you have to give yourself to me. I think that’s what you want from me, but I’m not entirely sure. You are usually so guarded and I need to know exactly what’s going on in your head, even though I know it’s hard for you to talk about.” I stroke her, soothing her breast and waist and the hollow above her collarbone.