“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m sorry. I scratched you,” she says, moving her fingers up the burning path she left on my back.

I pull away and stare at her incredulously.

“I was too rough. I’m sorry.” she repeats.

I smile. “I loved that.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah,” I whisper.

“I didn’t mean to be so rough.”

“That’s why I love it.” It must be confusing for her, the fact that I’m grinning, saying that with tears in my eyes. I lay there, let myself be totally powerless to the tears that flood my eyes and spill over.

“Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. That was so amazing and intense.” And I love you. I ***** love you so damn much.

“You’re scaring me a little. I feel like something’s wrong. Something that you’re not telling me.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Please don’t make me tell you. “Please, don’t be scared, all right.” Our eyes meet for a second, things flashing there that I can’t describe.

“Okay. I wish you’d tell me what’s going on, though.”

What’s going on is that I love you so much that I want to breathe you in like air, take you all the way in to my soul.

I hover there, so close. I don’t dare breathe, lest the words rush out.

“Nothing’s going on,” I lie. “You just have no clue what power you have over me.”

I press my hand to her torso, fingers spread, and lie my head there, breathing slowly.

“I don’t wanna have power over you,” she says, the flat palm of her hand moving up my spine, making me feel good, warm.

“You always have,” I say.

It’s as close as I come. She lays there waiting for an explanation, still gently touching me, and I think of how completely our roles have reversed.

She pulls the covers up over us, hands moving on my back long after we fall silent and I breathe as the candles burn down, all the while amazed at the sweetness of her touching me.

Soon she stops moving her hand, and I can hear from her breathing that she is asleep. She is safe and content but I am lying awake, a hurricane in my mind. I feel as if I’ll never be the same. I feel like this restlessness in my blood will never stop. I’m lost.