Well I am happy to hear that you are doing the exerciseshow are you finding it?

Actuallyits soothing…

Would you care to elaborate?

Wellits like I can pinpoint you know…like I can label things and sort of control how I am going to react…I dont know something like that

How is it compared to your punching?

Ha-haof course its better…but you know I have to be honest thatwell I told Tina about it and she told me she gets nervous when she sees how many times I go still and close my eyesI mean I think shes scared that I get the old feelings back a lot

These feelingswhy do you call them old

Causecause I want them to beold. I want them to have distance you know? Its better to have that instead of knowingand I do knowthat they are very much new and very real and herebut I want to control ityou know?

This controlhow often do you apply that to your everyday life?

Ummmbeforeyou know before the whole you-know-whatlike before my break-up with Tinasee we broke up and then we got back together.I was well how I should I put this.very much in control..

Is thissense of control very much in your everyday life now?

O god nowell it comes upI mean whenever I want to be in control and did do itsome of the old feelings rise up cause im scaredscaredof I dont knowscared that when I direct where my life is going firmly that I will get somehowpunished?

How so?

Like whenever I get back on my feet it feels like im pushed back downI hate it actuallyI ***** hate itI cant make love to my wife cuz I see that thatmonstersometimes I cant bear to be touched im jumpyI work like ***** to distract myself..and when I get the old feelings away and how I was before comes upI clash with Tina because wellit was my old self that caused us to break upprobably wasnt just me but you know we reallywe really havent talked about it much

And why is that?

I dont know..it never seems appropriate. I dont want to talk about that right now though.

Bette you are in controland you dont have to talk about anythingand lucky for you thats all the time we have left