You don’t know how happy you made me when you said you wanted to meet. I didn’t need time to think, I just said yes as soon as I read it. I was so nervous in the run up to today, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but the memory of your face. I had it all worked out in my head. The things I wanted to say to you once and for all. Its just a shame that when it came down to it I couldn’t process it well enough to tell you. I made it to the planet a whole hour before you were due to meet me. I was shaking all over playing with my hands to try and calm myself. Kit must of changed my coffee 3 times as they sat in front of me until they’d grown cold. She really shouldn’t have bothered my stomach was in knots and couldn’t hold down anything. In that hour I rehearsed telling you that I was still and always in love with you. That my heart has always been yours. Its funny that what you want to say and what you actually say are two different things. I’m sorry I couldn’t find the courage to tell you face to face what im feeling inside. That is why im writing you another letter, in hope that you’ll read it and understand.

When I saw you walk into the planet, I swear my heart stopped. When it returned it hammered into my chest, beating so fast I felt like it was going to explode out of me. From the door you locked eyes with me and I turned to jelly. I held your stare until you stood before me. As I went to stand you went to sit, both unsure of how this is supposed to work. You sat before me your head bowed and for once in the life time ive known you, lost for words. I played with my hands and looked around the room hoping for some inspiration and courage. They never came so instead I mumbled how are you and you politely replied you were fine. There was silences and small talk as we both skirted the issues that lead us to this meeting. For the first time I didn’t know how to talk to you. In 10 years we had become strangers and it frightened me.