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    Bette — Plan B; pt. 88

    Story written on November 20, 2005 by pseud.
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    51 votes, average: 3.75 out of 551 votes, average: 3.75 out of 551 votes, average: 3.75 out of 551 votes, average: 3.75 out of 551 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5 (51 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 31
    Words: 1297
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=57740
    Author Notes:

    Meanwhile, on another coast.

    I’m home. Or am I? I’m back in New York, back in my loft.

     

    Such a large space. At one point, I thought that owning this said such important things about me, about my success, about my abilities.

     

    Now, as I walk though the house and hear my footsteps echo in the emptiness, I wonder what truly defines success.

     

    Days ago I was living in a much more cozy space in West Hollywood. Not living, perhaps, but staying. In any case, I felt far more successful at being tied back into my family than I do here, alone.

     

    Which begs the question – what do I do about this?

     

    I’m at a place where before I had always felt comfortable. Now, I’m just numb.

     

    My plans to move to the West Coast are proceeding, I guess. Francis, my assistant, received two calls from the real estate agent in Los Angeles. While I know I need to decide soon, recent events have me questioning this move.

     

    But it did remind me to have Francis order a new telephone.

     

    Although the irony of being without a phone is not lost. Words were no longer working for me. Talking with Tina was not an option. Which makes me question why I need the phone? But I suppose if business is to continue.

     

    Did words ever work? Perhaps that was why I ran before. Am I running now? Regrouping?

     

    I got a taste of parenthood. A taste of life with my wife, with my family. Was a taste of all that I get? Worse yet, is that all that I deserve?

     

    There are a million little idiosyncrasies that she had, that they both had; each drove me nuts.

     

    Now I have quiet, staid, and predictable. And I hate every second.

     

    Today’s artist meeting could be deemed a success, although it’s funny to think of it that way with all that it appears to have cost me. Not that the meeting itself was the cause of any problem, but it did bring the important symptoms to the fore.

     

    Symptoms that I somehow missed.

     

    If I was off my game, the artist thankfully did not notice. All the artist needed was her typical dose of indulgence, of affirmation. So predictable. I gave her that. We’ll do a show for her in the next year.

     

    What will ever be enough?

     

    Not for the artist. They’re easy enough to handle. But for Tina. What can I do, I say, that will ever give her any sort of confidence in me?

     

    Every time I feel like I’ve progressed, I find another minefield that I left years ago.

     

    And Jess. Jess. She played me well. I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to anything without Tina present. Not like it helped. When I did tell Tina the truth, by that point she acted as if it was too late for us.

     

    And maybe it is.

     

    (tbc)

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    Comments

    1. Bette, you made a promise to Tina that you cannot break now in the face of adverse uncertainty. You said you would return after the trip; why don’t you show her the new and improved Bette Porter by sticking to that promise. Even if Tina has her head in her ass and can’t see beyond her own muck, I have faith that you can help with the imperative enema.

    2. Boy, such hardheads, they alll need each other and they don’t really realize it yet. The kid is playing them both. Hopefully they will realize what is happening before too long. Thanks for the post.

    4. I’m all for drama and angst. They make the reunion that much more sweeter, hopefully. Even though Bette is questioning her standing with her family, she has to return to LA to get her family back. Look, we’re all rooting for her. Go Bette Go!! And Tina really need to just listening!!!

    5. Oh, poor Bette; I don’t think Jess “played” her. But maybe she should have spoken with Tina right after talking to Jess; but all the “should haves” are too late, and I agree with Brooke, Bette has to go back to LA and fight for her family. Now that she knows the NY loft is not the symbol of success, rather, it is her family in LA. Go, Bette, Go. Go, Bette, Go. Thanks, P for posting and indugling your faithful readers!

    10. ph03nixx – dont mind CROO she was dropped on her head at birth. p – i have faith in you. fight for your family bette. its the best move you can make. as always great stuff. thanks.you do what you can.

    11. It better not be (too late for her)! The past is prologue. Bette, go get your woman and your child. You can do it! Quiet is to be valued, however. A larger house might be in order.

    15. Don’t give up Bette! At least we know now that Bette wasn’t avoiding her calls, although she’s right. Having a phone knowing that words aren’t enough doesn’t really help at all, but if she knew that Tina was trying to call her then it’d help. One of them has to get on a plane! Or perhaps both of them and then they end up missing each other, these two and their drama. Gotta love it. Let’s hope Bette doesn’t ruin everything she’s built with that teenager of hers by blaming her for what’s happened.

    18. Thanks for this chapterf Pseud. It’s really nice to read this story from 3 perspectives. I hope things work out, I’m feeling kinda sorry for Bette right now…

    24. I got a taste of parenthood. A taste of life with my wife, with my family…so funcking sad..i hope Tina move her ass and go after Bette..Bette need to wait and see..i dont wait her to give up of her family but sometimes wait is the best way to fight..cant wait for more P..thanks

    25. It’s very realistic how Bette is questioning whether or not it’s too late for them to re-establish their relationship. Such questions are inevitable, even when there’s been a long term union that’s in (attempted) recovery. Thanks for posting on the weekend…really the only time I can read with any consistency.

    28. P!! this chapter got me rubbing my hands together, hmm do I feel some drama coming along?? Nothing like time away to give you the real picture. What will be the right thing??

    30. -sigh- :( Oh, poor Bette. I know it’s confusing and difficult…but she got THIS far with her last attempt! Oh, please let her be brave and try again! And, please, let Tina gain a little sanity so that she can listen to reason. And please let Jess have the guts to explain to Tina what was going on – that she was actually building some trust with her other mother. …crossing my fingers…

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