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The Past Is Gone. part 20
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Since I still have my basement me and my brother go there to get settled. As soon as he puts he’s stuff on it’s place he wants to go explore the place, so I’m left alone on my home for the first time in what it seemed to me like ages, so I walk around the place, but when I want to seat on the floor my legs take the decision not to make it easy for me and I’m falling to the floor, but I don’t make it all the way down.
– Easy Goofy, you don’t want to hurt those legs again, do you?- Oh as much as I hate to say it, I’ve never felt so good on anyone’s arms. But I instantly stand up, and turn around to face her, I have to do this now, or I’ll never will, and she needs to know, so I know I could loose her forever, I think I’m gonna take that chance.
– Shane I need to tell you something, I’m not asking for a talk, I’ll be the only one talking here, not you, all you have to do is listen, and when I’m done talking you will leave, and won’t come back until you’re ready to talk, ok?- I’m so scared right now you have no idea, she’s serious, and just nods before seating on the mattress .
– My mother left me the day I was born, she didn’t even looked at me, my dad was a drunk and a drug addict, me and my brother grew up with those all over the house, and dad would beat the crap out of us whenever he felt like it, when I was ten my dad kicked Paris out of the house because he wouldn’t give him another beer, and when he was walking away dad pulled out his gun and shot him, and hit his shoulder, but dad never called an ambulance or anything, he just left him there, I have no idea what happened to him that night, he says he doesn’t remember, but that was the last time I saw him for eleven years. When he left dad took it against me, I was the only one there so I would get beat up a few more times than the usual, by the time I was thirteen I was just like daddy, drunk and high, that hole year is a big mystery to me, I have no idea what I did, ’cause I was to high to remember, five days after I turned fifteen my dad tried to rape me, I could fight back and get him off, but that same night I ran away from home, I mean I could handle him being drunk and the punches every now and then, but that I could not take, so I took off, only to find that the streets are way worst than I thought they’d be, and fell deeper into the drugs, basically trading sex for drugs, when I turned eighteen I met this girl, she was sick, very sick, but she taught me a lot, she helped me out of drugs, and encouraged me to get a real job, she was the only one that ever cared for me, I thought that I would never love again after Kate, but I did, I fell for her, Her name was Linda, I never got the chance to tell her how I felt about her, she died from Aids, just a year after I met her, her dead killed me too, I was dead inside, and being all alone in the world wasn’t really helping, but I didn’t went back to drugs or alcohol, I wanted her to be proud of me, so I just stayed clean, but it came to a point where living in New York was very painful, and all the people I knew there were all drug addicts telling me I would never change that I will always be just like them, and I didn’t wanted to, so I just took all my stuff and left, but when I got here, I was still dead and in darkness, I had no intention what so ever to care about anyone but me, I thought I could just go by picking up girls and having some fun, I didn’t need anyone, I was better off alone, but then you had to crash against me with that burning cup of coffee, and all those walls that took me so much and that were very effective, you just disappeared them, like they were never there, and after you a hole group of girls just got way too deep into my heart. But youI never thought such a love could exist, but it does you have no idea how much I’ve fought this feeling, and all the times I’ve tried to get it off, to make it go away, but it just won’t go, the only thing it does is grow. You Shane McCutcheon have brought me back to life, thanks to you I can breath again, no more darkness. That’s why you were the first name that came out of my mouth the day of the accident, that’s why you were the one thought that got me through therapy, and why I left to New York to deal with my childhood issues, you know?, if I hadn’t seen you with Carmen, I would’ve never left, now I’m glad I did, and the hole thing had it’s closure. And all of this leaves us with the one thing I have to say and then you’ll go. I love you! I do, I love you very much Well now there it is, you decide what to do with it, but not now, you have to leave, sink it in, and I hope to see you soon.- Uuff! I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared or nervous in my life, but at least I said it, I had to get all that out of my chest. Her reaction is exactly what I thought it would be she stares at the floor for a few seconds before standing up and leaving the house, now I just have to wait and see
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Lets see how Sydney handles this. Shane also, Did Carman say Jenny is the best thing that has ever happen to her? Thanks