“I don’t know if I can…um…if I can live without you.”

“You can.”

Echoes of a broken love rang deep in Alice’s ears as she lay curled in the closet of her apartment, the only area she was sure they hadn’t made love. Every other place was too painful, too much to handle,

“I can’t do this…I…” Alice tilted her head against the back wall of the closet, abruptly bursting into fits of laughter that slowly turned back into sobs.

“I guess I’m in the closet now,” She chuckled aloud. Every night for three weeks Alice sat in her closet crying hysterically, then laughing for long blocks of time.

Shane stood at the door of Alice’s apartment her whimpers loud enough to hear through the short hallway and thick door. Shane rested her head against the frame and thought about the most effective course of action, no one really knew how bad Alice was hurting. At The Planet she seemed distant but not unlike herself everyone, with the exception of Shane, decided. But Shane watched as Alice became more and more indifferent, and standoffish, disappearing for long periods of time with no explanation.

Tonight she followed her from the pharmacy to her apartment, hoping to get Alice to open up and let go of Dana, but as she leaned against the door she realized this was more than one conversation could mend. She rapped her knuckles along the door and heard scuffling down the hallway,

“Hold on a…sec,” Alice called seemingly from far away, her voice cracking as she shuffled down the hallway, wiping her eyes as best she could. Alice looked through the peep-hole quickly swinging the door open and putting on the best Alice impression she could.

“Heeeeeyyyy!…Shane…whatare…whatare you doing here?” She chuckled nervously scratching her head, stopping to run a finger along her eye. Shane smiled at her nervous tension, it was more than obvious that she’d been crying and, both Alice and Shane knew there was no hiding anything from Yoda. She walked past Alice into the kitchen pulling out one of the many, she mentally noted, cold beers.

“I came to get that DVD from you…the Angelina Jolie one…um… Shane began snapping her fingers to spark her memory, Alice’s brow furrowed, “What Original Sin?…Tomb Raider? Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life?…Mr. and Ms. Smith,”

“Mr. and Ms. Smith, that’s the one.” Shane said slapping her hand on the kitchen counter. Alice pulled the DVD from the stand near the television a little relieved for this moment away from her thoughts. She slid the DVD across the kitchen counter as she reached in the refrigerator for a bottle of tequila and a lime. Shane inspected the back of the DVD and mumbled nonchalantly,

“So, what are you getting into tonight?” Alice smirked holding up the bottle,

“I’m going to be getting into about a half a bottle of tequila.” Shane leaned back to watch as Alice took the bottle to her lips letting a rather large amount slide down her throat effortlessly. Shane decided she need not bring up the excessive amount of alcohol, she did however, want to keep an eye on Alice from now, until this was over.

“Well, you wanna watch it with me?…We can get fucked up on tequila and I’ve got a dime in the car.”Alice smiled then thought about spending the night with Shane AND Carmen, being alone was one thing, but being alone with a couple, especially one as affectionate as Sharmen was not on her top ten list. Alice made a goofy face,

“You know Shane I think I’m gonna…” Shane interrupted,

“It’s ok, Carmen is spinning at Milk tonight…it’s just us chilling tonight. Come on,” Shane swiped the DVD off the table and lead Alice by the hand into the living room,

“I’m not taking no for an answer, you just said you’re not doing anything. Now you are,” Alice rolled her eyes smiling as Shane sat her down,

“How do you read minds? I gotta know.” Shane walked around the back of the couch and pressed both of her hands on either side of Alice’s head.

“Well when you spend as much time as I have near people’s heads you’re bound to pick up something.” Alice feigned confusion,

“See I always thought it was a class you took at hair school ‘Massaging the Scalp and the Soul.’ Shane smirked,

“You’re such a smartass…you still smoke right?” Shane asked on her way outside for the dime bag. Alice mumbled never really answering,

“Anything to get fucked up, though I’d rather minus the ‘up’.”

****

“Wow Dana Fairbanks! It’s such an honor to meet you.” Dana never got tired of meeting fans but always seriously doubted it was an honor to meet her. She smiled sweetly and signed autographs at the all women’s sports bar she now frequented.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t go to The Planet anymore, Alice had long since stopped stalking her. She just never felt the same sitting at the table anymore, Alice wasn’t herself and though the changes were seemingly subtle, guilt tore at Dana’s insides.

So she sat with her new doubles partner, Victoria, watching the latest starlet on the women’s tennis circuit, smash her competition. Victoria leaned back and exhaled loudly,

“Wow…she is something, isn’t she D? Dana hadn’t been paying attention, since her off-season had began, all she could think about was Alice. What was she doing? Was she happy? Did she find another job? Dana snapped back to Victoria,

“Yeah, she’s something,”  Victoria nudged her with a muscled arm,

“She reminds me of you in college, but she takes risky shots though…that’s the only difference… yeah…you tend to stay safe you know, you stay out of the corners when you’re on.”

Dana’s face wrinkled in disbelief as she turned to Victoria no longer looking at the big screen in front of them,

“What are you talking about? I take risks,” Victoria took a long sip of her drink then smiled slowly, never taking her eyes off the television.

“Ok Fairbanks, if you say so…But think about this, just today, second game you lost the third set…why?” Dana thought for a moment remembering the set perfectly, Victoria’s serve had been sloppy so Dana chose a spin shot aimed for the space between Victoria’s feet. The ball came off of her racquet too soft and allowed Victoria an easy shot to win the match,

“The ball came off of my racquet wrong…it happens sometimes.” Dana said, irritated with the critique of her style. Victoria leaned her head back her, black hair barely touching her shoulders. Exhaling slowly she locked eyes with Dana, the rich brown reminding her of Alice.

“No, you lost because instead of taking the slam to the ‘risky’ corner you chose the ‘safe’ place in-between my feet, and then I had to teach you that there is no safe place to hit the ball on my side of the court.” Victoria said coolly, sporting a toothy smile. Dana shot a sarcastic smile back,

“See Vic that’s just not true, I take a risk every time I step out on the court with you.” Victoria sat forward laughing,

“Oh shit, you finally got a comeback…excuse me waitress?”  Victoria called for the pretty blonde waitress who bounced to their table,

“The next round is on me, to Miss Fairbanks’ silver tongue, pun definitely intended!” As the shot glasses plied up on the table, Dana’s thoughts of Alice grew more intense. She saw Alice in everyone, and the way Victoria was leaning against her for balance made Dana think of more primal thoughts.

“Hey Vic, you wanna get out of here?” Dana slurred, and the recognition washing over Victoria’s face. They had been together, mostly during tours and after extremely competitive games. They had an understanding that worked perfectly for the both of them, sex was just that, they never spent time with the pleasantries before or after.

Victoria leaned in close enough to make a statement but not draw attention,

“I guess that toast to your silver tongue was appropriate,” Victoria giggled drunkenly and Dana couldn’t help but smile back,

“By the end of the night you’ll be doing more than a toast to my tongue.”