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    Thinking Back… chapter 11

    “No. I am sorry” I said as I slid out from inbetween the door and Tina…… “I just can’t right now…..” I left the room and walked out to the living room…….

    “Bette, baby, I don’t get it…..I don’t understand……we are two consenting adults that love each other. You could go out and fuck whoever you wanted whether you knew them or not, and not feel the least ounce of anything for them……why can’t you and I make love? You love me don’t you ?”

    “Tina…” I sat back on the sofa, propping my head up on my hand…….I sighed aloud…….. “I just can’t totally give myself to you yet……..believe me, I would love nothing more than to take you to my bed, and make love to you all night…….but I just can’t……not yet………”

    “I asked you a question Bette…. DO YOU LOVE ME?”

    “Yes T……I love you very much……but I am soo afraid of being hurt, or hurting you. Its hard to explain. Physically, yes…..I want to be with you….but emotionally, I just cannot do it right now……all of these years, I have never gotten over Sara and what I done to her……I had just pushed it to the back of my mind, and lead the not-so-great lifestyle…..never intending to fall in love again……I never thought I would meet someone that would pull me out of my hole…..but you are……u are doing it…….and I just don’t want to slip…….I want to be totally out of that hole before I give myself to you totally……I want to make sure that I can give you what you deserve……”

    Tina got off of the couch, and was on her knees in an instant, taking my hands in hers….. “I understand now……and I will wait till you are ready, as long as you promise me that we will be together….I cannot bare the thought of being without you….”

    “I just…….I want you to be totally sure that I am what you want……that I am the one you want to wake up to every day for the rest of your life, the one that you want to share everything with, the one that you want forever…..” I said to her……she looked down to the floor……. And nodded her head in the “YES” fashion……..

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    Comments

    1. Eric need to die or hope they will put him to jail forever for hurting Tina. A little fight for B&T but they are will go through this and Bette will take care of Tina. Ok post soon please, thanks!

    2. Someone better step in and do something to Eric before I jump into this story and get him myself. I can understand Tina not wanting Bette to know about the rape, but for her sake Bette does need to know. If Tina were to freak out then Bette would understand and be able to help Tina work through those rough patches.

    3. First…Eric is a DINK!!!!! Up the river with him.Second….My heart ached when Bette was telling Tina she was afraid to love her emotionally right now….that she was so hurt by Sara, and wanted to be sure she could let herself love again. God…..I can just feel that pain. Great job Wildie….keep up the good work! Loving the story.

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