Fan Fiction
This story has been set to a rating of NC-17. Age verification is required to proceed.
Scorpio Rising 10
Login to add story to favorites
(13 votes, average: 4.38 out of 5)You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
Loading ...
Scorpio Rising 10
CH 16
I can’t see.
And I
Can’t breathe
And I
Can’t see
And I can’t breathe….
I am trying to figure out a new way to express my feelings to Carmen. It’s on my mind as she weaves in and out of traffic just as reckless and sexy as she did when she knew what she was like when she was 3. With my hands around her waist and the wind blowing so violently and slashing me, I wonder what childhood stories I can share with her? Racking my brain I find nothing. No story I can tell will give her insight into who I am.
She takes the exit off the highway as the sun gets lower and lower. We pull into a hotel parking lot. She stops, parks, cuts the engine and leans back on me. She sits quiet not moving stopping suddenly like she felt something pulling her away. Taking off her helmet I take mine off as we sit there just soaking up the quiet. She jumps off helmet in hand and I follow as she wanders over to the hotel.
What was she feeling? Was she thinking about Marina? Was she thinking at all? Maybe she was just feeling and I am the one thinking. Always in my head as she said. Who fucking knows? All I know, all I know for sure is my devotion to her knew no limits. And truthfully it was scary.
I can barely keep my hands to myself as she signs the form for the room at the Ramada Inn. We walked in and requested a room. Smoking? Didn’t matter. Non smoking then? Didn’t matter. At the last second my hands roaming on her ass I mutter smoking. She turns to meet my mouth as the attendant handed her the room key. We kiss and grind on each other till the attendant clears her throat.
We wander hand in hand to the elevator. The key read room 919. I stop for a second feeling that this was or had already happened with us. The door to the elevator chimes and opens. She pushes me inside. There are mirrors all around the inside of the elevator. Seeing the picture we make as we move up and up. With my eyes open I see Carmen as she licks my throat. I see the look I give myself, the look I suppose was always on my face when I was this close to her. The look was possessive, one that signaled that she was mine. I nod to myself in the mirror agreeing with my sentiment. Her lips on my chin, her teeth biting soft trying to get my attention. Jealous of my own reflection that’s how bad I have it for her. Will wonders never cease? She greats my lips with hers and I close my eyes leaving my jealous reflection in the mirror.
Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
how can i not leave a comment…. damn. that was !!!. i really liked the line “The stars all lined up telling a story if you knew how to connect them.” i believe in happy endings.and sometimes i think you do too.
holllllyyyy fuckin shit!!!! i loved this chapter love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! continue!!!!!!! …. i read this on school and i em totally gettting an F in Spanish couse i read this like 4 times, loved it!!!
Wow, another great chapter! I’ve been reading this since the start, and it gets better with each installment. I like your pared-down style.
Wow… I had a feeling all along that some stuff was going to happen with Marco, here we are (which is good btw).The hotel scene was pretty hot too, I love your stuff.
WOW… i agree with komakino 100%.. im also starting to think that shane might end up trading her life for carmen and marco, ultimatly showing carmen just how much the two of them mean to her, sort of an actions speak louder then words kind of thing since shane can’t seem to find the right word.. but at the same time i hope it all ends well for the three of them…this was an excillent update.. please continue soon..:) cause i need more like right now please:P
OH SHIT! I was waiting for that Marco ‘shoe to drop’. Hope this doesn’t lead to anyone sacrificing themselves but can’t wait for the chase. Great stuff.
room 919 – u have to involve NIN in everything lol and not only that happiness and peace of mind were never meant for me – all tht cudv been. luv tht song. so the crazy stuff starts all over again. not bad…
WOW!!!!!!!! “She greats my lips with hers and I close my eyes leaving my jealous reflection in the mirror”.”The room that John and Miriam met their end”.” Knowing once and for all, finally having proof that happiness and peace of mind were never meant for me” WOW AGAIN!!! Please post soon, those lines were G R E A T ! ! ! ! !
this was fuckin awsome man…. so awsome, but i have to say its starting to sound a lil like SAW, its not bad but im just trying to figure it out
The hotel room scene was hot and so was the elevator scene before that, although Shane really got the rusty gears in my head churning. The she’s jealous of her reflection, but not jealous of Marina? I guess she was too confused at the time to be jealous? Maybe it has something to do with her own thoughts toward Marina? Maybe? Now, as for the new development with Marco. . . it’s out of sight! Shane’s made plenty of enemies, so there’s no telling who it could be (at least not yet). I feel horrible for John and Miriam, they were like grandparents to Marco. They were Shane and Carmen’s family. Looks like Sharmen is neck-deep in a world of shit, and it’s ass kickin’ time. [And I do believe that Carmen shared room 919 of the “Château Marquis” with her friend and collogue, Wade (the gay Dodgers fan), in Now I’m Nothing. I swear I’m not obsessed. I swear it.) Outstanding job on the story, by the way.
How can Shane and Carmen work anything out between themselves or within themselves when the shit seems to hit the fan every week or so? These past few chapters have been amazing! Threesomes? I know asked for an NC-17, but damn…(by the way that is so not a complaint). Now I’m just waiting for more great stuff and the drama to unfold.
WoW….I find myself saying that alot after reading your updates. I think this one has rendered me speechless…THis will be the ultimate test for Shane and Carmen, Shane’s dark side is sure to emerge now. Thanks for continuing this saga.