(Last chapter, Bette and Tina were frolicking quite a bit and Bette discovered there was an issue with her student Gerri, whom Tina explained was somewhat taken with the striking Professor Porter. Grizzi found out as well, and apparently, so did some others.)

(Bette walks into Grizzi’s office. The door was open. She stops dead in her tracks as she sees Grizzi sitting in the big chair behind her desk, with her head back on the headrest of the chair and her face facing the ceiling. Her mouth was open and she was making a faint snoring sound. Bette is frozen, not quite sure whether to laugh, grimace, or just run, but just as all the options confront her, a loud telephone ring at the secretary’s desk elicits a waking grunt from Grizzi as she lifts her head forward and comes to consciousness.)

BETTE- “Grizzi…hi…I’m sorry to interrupt…”

GRIZZI- “Huh? Oh…yeah…what time is it? Too friggin early for me, I tell ya, whatever time it is.” (She’s adjusting her hair.)

BETTE- “It’s 11am.”

GRIZZI- “11am? For crying out loud it feels like 3am…what the hec…” (She grasps her head…) “Ugh…geez Louise…I gotta get more sleep at night. I’m getting old, Bette.”

BETTE- “Well they say taking a nap now and then…”

GRIZZI- “Yeah yeah, all right Porter…maybe I’ll grab some shut-eye later.” (She starts looking around…) What the hec was I doing before I…Oh yes, I was reading something…”

BETTE- (Smiling…) “Not my report I hope!”

GRIZZI- (Eyes wide open…smiling…) “No, nothing quite so exciting! Ha. You’re funny. No…I…hmm…” (she looks down on her desk and finds it…) “Oh yes…here it is…”

BETTE- (Can’t see it from where she’s standing…) “Budget?”

GRIZZI- “No no…sexual harassment policy…” (she give Bette a look. Bette freezes, thinking about the party before the weekend. Grizzi smiles…) “Ha! I’m kidding…take it easy Porter! Geezus, you academics…where’s Peabody when you need a good laugh for cripes sakes? Oh Porter, don’t worry.”

BETTE- “I think it’s just a crush, if anything. I’ll take care of it. I’ll speak to her.”

GRIZZI- “It can be difficult at that age you know…all the possibilities, the obstacles, the trials, the tribulations. Poor thing. She’s very solid, from what I know of her. So, yes, have a talk with her and report back. And…” (She looks at Bette and points, but pauses…)

BETTE- (She’s guessing for a moment but then clues in. She smiles and points back…) “No touching!”

GRIZZI- “A plus for the professor!” (She laughs.) “All right, have a seat. This budget thing and the exhibit, let’s talk.” (Bette sits and they continue their meeting.)


(In the student centre, Steve is sitting reading a paper and is interrupted by an anxious Gerri.)

GERRI- “I gotta talk to you.”

STEVE- “What? What’s up? You look freaked.” (She sits across the table from him.)

GERRI- “I am…I don’t know what to do.”

STEVE- “Uh oh. What happened…”

GERRI- “Can we go somewhere?”

STEVE- “How about the studio?”

GERRI- “No…no…can’t go there…”

STEVE- “Ok, come on, let’s go to my place.” (They go off.)

(At the Peabody offices, Tina walks in on Helena, who is standing looking out her office window.)

TINA- “Hey, ready?” (There’s a delayed reaction…) “Helena?”

HELENA- “Hm?” (She turns to look at Tina…) “Uh, hi…”

TINA- “Deep thought?”

HELENA- “Ya…I…I guess I…Tina can you give me a few minutes?”

TINA- (She bring her eyebrows together momentarily and smiles…) “Ok…10 minutes?” (Helena nods. Tina leaves.)

HELENA- (Talking to herself…) “Frigg…what the hec am I doing…” (She shakes her head and touches her forehead with her left hand.)


(Bette’s back in her office, with bifocals on, since eye irritations kept her off contacts for a couple of weeks…ahem…Professor Grandamme knocks and enters…she’s a very tall woman in her fifties who still happens to be naturally blonde…ahem…)

PROFESSOR GRANDAMME- “Professor Porter…”

BETTE- “Liza, hey…”

GRANDAMME- “Greetings sexy lady…ooooohhhh…those bifocals do something for me…”

BETTE- (Chuckling…) “Easy there old Grandamme…”

GRANDAMME- “You witch…I’m not THAT old…besides, I’m still ravishing…”

BETTE- “Whatever you say Grandamme.”

GRANDAMME- (She smiles…) “So, sexy lady…what can I do for you?” (She sits.)

BETTE- (She smirks…) “After all these years, I regret to inform you that you’re still not gay and very married, and I love your husband, so…”

GRANDAMME- “Technicalities…mere technicalities…” (They both chuckle.) “Hey, I could be a really cool lesbian you know…”

BETTE- “Grandi…”

GRANDAMME- “Yes beloved…”

BETTE- “Get a life…”

GRANDAMME- “Shut up…”

BETTE- (Smiling…) “I mean you’re cute and all, but I have standards, not to mention a current lover and life partner…”

GRANDAMME- “Whom I love dearly…”

BETTE- “She’s taken…”

GRANDAMME- “Whatever. You know Michael won’t mind if we…you know…” (She winks…)

BETTE- “GAwwwd.”

GRANDAMME- (Chuckling…) “Remember, back in the day, when I was your fellow and it was cool to be a lesbian?”

BETTE- (Makes a face like she’s trying to remember…) “Yes, and try as you might you still weren’t!”

GRANDAMME- (Ignoring her comment…) “Now…nobody cares.”

BETTE- “You silly woman…what can I do for you today?”

GRANDAMME- “First things first…you still owe me coffee for last time.”

BETTE- “I know, I know…I honour my bets.”

GRANDAMME- “You’re obviously getting old.”

BETTE- “What?”

GRANDAMME- “You summoned me, oh great and powerful lesbian. So…what can I do for YOU today?”

BETTE- “Oh…right…it’s about…”

GRANDAMME- “Stephen? Don’t tell me there’s anything wrong…”

BETTE- “No, no…it’s Gerri.”

GRANDAMME- “She’s wonderful. What’s up?”

BETTE- “I have a little problem and it’s in confidence. I need your advice.”

GRANDAMME- “From mmmmeeeeeee?”

BETTE- “Yes, oh great lesbian wannabe…”

GRANDAMME- “Why me? I think she’s great, but while she, similar to Stephen, aced my classes, I don’t really know her that well.”

BETTE- “You know her better than you think.”

GRANDAMME- “Okay Porter, I’m lost. What do you mean?”

BETTE- “Well, she…I think she’s…”

GRANDAMME- (She suddenly clues in and her mouth opens and her eyes brighten…) “No!”

BETTE- “Yes!”

GRANDAMME- “Oh my. Poor thing.”

BETTE- “I don’t know what it is with my students.”

GRANDAMME- “Oh give it a break Porter…you’re gorgeous, elegant, a presence unlike any other, and when a young person is in a sensitive time they look to people like us for guidance and sometimes…”

BETTE- “GRANDI! I know…the problem is…what do I do? She seems to have taken it really hard.”

GRANDAMME- “Are you sure?”

BETTE- “Yes, I think she…well, Tina…”

GRANDAMME- “God I love that woman. She has empathy, sympathy, compassion…if it wasn’t for her you’d be toast. Not to mention I’d have gone nuts back then.”

BETTE- “Well, I don’t know about ‘toast’, but yeah, she helped Gerri confront her feelings.”

GRANDAMME- “It’s funny…Tina helped me realize I was heterosexual…odd.”

BETTE- “I thought I did that.”

GRANDAMME- “No, you sexy beast, you’re the one who confused me, remember? Boy was I a mess. I was so confused. I was totally besotted by you…I thought I madly, passionately, and hopelessly in love with you and it was just devastating. I thought I was discovering the love of my life and my sexuality. Thank God for Tina. I was so confused.”

BETTE- “Well geez Grandi, I’d like to think I helped you too!”

GRANDAMME- “Na…you just tortured me with that gorgeous body and exquisite personality and presence…you fiend…”

BETTE- (Feigning disappointment…) “So much for you being over me…”

GRANDAMME- “Hey…you were my first, what can I say?” (She smiles.) “Man, was I confused. And poor Michael. He wants to have dinner soon. He misses you he says.”

BETTE- “How’s he doing?”

GRANDAMME- “Great. He’s gone on a trip with Bill. Bette, he wants Bill to go to Yale.”

BETTE- “That’s great!”

GRANDAMME- “Not if you’re Bill. My son wants to go to Stanford.”

BETTE- (She smiles…) “Well, it’s not Yale, but it’s not too shabby.”

GRANDAMME- “I prefer Bill stay closer to home obviously, so you know what my choice is. Anyway, dinner this Friday, just the four of us.” (Bette nods.) “Now, about my poor young Gerri…what’s the problem? Deal with it based on the lessons I know you’ve learned on that subject. Talk to her…be straight with her, supportive, firm, gentle…understanding. Make it clear that your professional relationship and friendship are firm regardless.”

BETTE- “Apparently she was in tears.”

GRANDAMME- “Poor thing. But I was in tears too. Anyway…is she gay and has a crush on you or confused like I was with a crush on you?”

BETTE- “Tina thinks…well I think Tina thinks she’s gay.”

GRANDAMME- “Okay, well…perhaps it’s a little more complicated. This a case of first impression in that department for her?”

BETTE- “Yeah, I think so.”

GRANDAMME- “Hmm. Well…same approach really. If it gets rough, have me come in and I’ll tell my sad and sordid tale of my first encounter with ‘The Porter’ and my lovesick syndrome. It’ll make her laugh if nothing else.” (They both chuckle. The phone rings. Bette picks up…)

BETTE- “Bette Porter. Hi, hi Alice. What?”

ALICE- “I gotta talk to you. It’s about Gerri.”

BETTE- “What? What about her?”

ALICE- “I’ll come meet you there. I don’t want to get into it on the phone.”

BETTE- “But Al…”

ALICE- “You missed the whole thing…at the Friday night’s party…it’s bad…all bad…what was she thinking! Anyway…I gotta go. See you for lunch…at 12.”

BETTE- “Alice I…”

ALICE- “Later Porter…” (She hangs up.)

GRANDAMME- “That the Alice I know?”

BETTE- “Yeah…and as weird as ever it seems.”

GRANDAMME- “What happened?”

BETTE- “Not sure.” (Her eyebrows come together a bit. She looks at her watch.) “Damn…”

GRANDAMME- “What?”

BETTE- “Grandi, she’s coming over for lunch. I thought I’d have more time. Anyway…I’m not sure what’s happening but thanks for listening. I may have to talk to you further on this.”

GRANDAMME- “Not a problem. I better get going myself.” (She gets up.) “Don’t forget Friday.”

BETTE- “I won’t. It should be ok unless Tina’s got something. I’ll check with her. We’ll touch base tomorrow?”

GRANDAMME- “Sure thing. See ya.” (She exits.)

BETTE- “What the hec is going on?” (She picks up the phone and calls Tina, who doesn’t answer. She leaves a very brief message. The phone rings right after she hangs up.) “Hello. Yes. Hi, how are you? Funny you should call, I just called Tina but she’s not in her office. Oh? Ok. Yeah…sure…what’s wrong? Helena?” (She’s interrupted by the secretary…)

ASSISTANT- “Dean Porter, I’m sorry to trouble you, but a lady announcing herself as Alice is here…but she doesn’t have an appointment…”

BETTE- “Wow, that was quick. It’s ok Louise. Let her in, in about a minute or so.” (Louise exits.) “Helena…listen I’m sorry but I…yes. No, no problem…are you ok? I…ok…I’ll call. Bye…” (She hangs up and scratches her head. Alice walks in after a bit…)

ALICE- “Hey Porter. The spectacles give you a sort of elegant older woman sexy aura…Anyway…” (She sits.) “We gotta talk. But I’m hungry, can we go to that place across the street?”

BETTE- “Al…I’m not sure what this is about but couldn’t it have waited until tonight or something?”

ALICE- “And hold off my anxiety until then? Are you kidding? Come on, let’s go.”

BETTE- (She starts to get up…) “Okay, but what’s the problem? You’re worrying me.”

ALICE- “Let’s take it slow…it’ll be a lot to digest. And I think I need sustenance before I unleash my thoughts on you. You know?”

BETTE- “No, I don’t think I do Al. Alice, you haven’t changed…you really haven’t changed. Age hasn’t quite defrayed all that strange energy of yours.”

ALICE- “I’m just more refined you see…” (Bette chuckles.) “What’s so funny?” (They exit.)