Chapter 12



Tina quickly walked through the parking lot, past the group of reporters covering tonight’s opening, and into the gallery at an alarming rate. Angelica ran trying to continue to hold her mother’s hand as Tina’s 4 inch spiked heels hit the pavement with purpose. She pushed the door open and scanned the crowd looking for her ex-wife.

“Mom,” Angelica said out of breath, “I need to sit.”

“You’re not sitting alone and I’m not sitting,” Tina said not making eye contact with her daughter as she spoke.

Her eyes fell upon their group of friends, each dressed spectacular in their own way. She tugged at Angelica’s arm to propel her forward toward her aunts knowing she could sit there while Tina talked with Bette in private.

“Hey there,” Dana said as she saw Tina and Angelica approaching their tightly formed circle.

“Uh-oh that doesn’t look good,” Alice muttered to Helena.

“Where’s Bette?” Tina asked without acknowledging Dana’s greeting.

“Being interviewed I think, why?”

“Because I’d like to speak to her if you don’t mind Alice.”

Alice backed away from Tina with wide eyes holding her hands up in surrender fashion.

“At least she has the sense to stay out of this one,” Helena said quietly.

“Where was she last?”

“Near the center gallery, is everything ok T?” Shane asked.

“Just perfect,” Tina’s words dripped with sarcasm. “You stay here.” She pointed to the spot next to Shane, obviously directing her comment at Angelica. She turned on her expensive heel and headed in the direction of the flashes from cameras hoping to find Bette in the middle of that chaos.

“What happened?” Alice asked Angelica.

“I asked a question.”

“Another one?”

“Yeah,” Angelica sounded sad. “I didn’t mean to start an argument.”

“What was the question?”

“Alice,” Shane scolded.

“What? I think we’d all want to know to benefit from not asking in the future.”

“I’m sure you didn’t start anything PJ,” Shane said as she pulled her niece in close to her body to offer comfort.

“I think I did.”

“What was the question and we’ll tell you if you did.”

“Jesus Alice,” Helena nudged her with a look of disdain on her face. “Can you be more callous?”

“I can certainly try,” Alice said smiling at Helena to anger her more.

“I asked her what a carpet mucher was.”

Dana’s very expensive champagne managed to find it’s way out of her mouth quickly as she sprayed Alice who happened to be standing across from her.

“Nice Dane, thanks.”

Alice wiped her arm off as Dana coughed to minimize the tickle in her throat.

“Why would you ask that?”

“I knew I should have just asked you Aunt Shane.”

“That alone shouldn’t make your mom that angry, what else happened?”

“I told her I knew what it was when I got mad.”

“Do you?” Alice asked.

“I think so, but that’s not why she’s mad either.”

“Why is she mad for God’s sake?” Alice was growing impatient.

“Because I told her I knew because I saw Kristen doing it to Mama B a few weeks ago.”

Dana and Helena stood in silence, eyes widened, mouths agape. Alice, on the other hand, seemed genuinely intrigued with the piece of information.

“Well that explains it.”

“Explains what Al?” Dana asked.

“She’s mad because Bette’s throwing that in her face.”

“She didn’t throw anything in her face,” Shane said in Bette’s defense. “Kids see stuff all the time, it happens. I’m sure Bette didn’t just flaunt her sexual encounters in front of her daughter on purpose.”

“No, she didn’t,” Angelica agreed. “I wasn’t supposed to be up but I wanted to talk to her, really I did, I wasn’t spying this time.”

Shane bent down and got eye level with her niece.

“I believe you Angie, it’ll be ok, your moms will talk about it and it’ll work itself out.”

“Can’t anyone else see that it’s jealousy that’s driving Tina’s behavior?”

“Can’t you learn a lesson Al and stop talking about their relationship in front of everyone like they asked us not to do?”

“It wasn’t anyone Dana,” Alice said. “It was specifically Angelica and I, for one, think she sees it herself.”

“Sees what?” Angelica asked Alice.

“Your Mom’s jealousy.”

Helena nudged Alice to stop her from continuing to talk as Kristen approached the group.

“Hey everyone, thanks for coming. Hi Angelica, it’s good to see you again.”

“Hi,” Angelica muttered in Kristen’s direction.

“How does everyone like the spectacular show?”

“I’d love to see the other one that’s going on right now,” Alice muttered to Helena as she tried to talk without her lips moving.

“Stop it!” Helena whispered back at her.

“Bette’s worked really hard at this one, I can tell.”

“You’ve made it to every show haven’t you Shane?” Kristen asked smiling.

“Even ‘Impressions in Winter’ I’m sad to say,” Shane smiled.

“Bette’s got some amazing friends in all of you,” Kristen said with a hint of sadness in her voice. “We can all be so lucky huh?”

“I suppose,” Shane said cautiously.

“Well I’m off to mingle a bit more, it was good to see everyone again.”

Kristen made her way through the crowd as she blinked quickly to fight her urge to cry.




Tina fought her way through the photographers as they wrapped up their session of photographing Bette and the key artist of the night with the pivotal piece of the show.

“Can I see you, in private, please?”

Bette looked at Tina and saw nothing but anger in her stance, her eyes, the tone of her voice as she spoke through clenched teeth.

“Is that a question?”

“Not really, no it isn’t.”

“My office?” Bette said as she led Tina through the maze of people and into the confines of her private office. She shut the door behind them, locking it to ensure that they weren’t disturbed.

“What’s wrong Tina?”

“I am so angry with you right now I could spit tacks!”

“Me? What did I do?” Bette was genuinely shocked by Tina’s admission.

“Our daughter informed me tonight, as I was being asked what carpet munching meant, that she didn’t actually need an answer because she had seen it before!”

“What?” Bette held the desk for support wondering what Tina was talking about and how Angelica knew what that phrase meant.

“She saw you Bette,” Tina said as she turned around and began pacing on her heels.

“Saw me what?”

“Getting eaten out for lack of a better way of putting it!”

“Tina, calm down, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Our daughter, a few weeks ago, saw you being intimate with Kristen. She saw you in the pool, Kristen between your legs, does any of this ring a bell for you?”

Tina was obviously angry, as well as impatient since she didn’t wait for Bette to answer her question before launching into another phase of her argument.

“Look, I don’t give a shit what you do on your own time, but to do it in front of our daughter is not acceptable!”

“I didn’t do anything in front of our daughter Tina. Give me more credit then that!”

“She saw you.”

“And she did so by snooping. When that happened it was in the early morning hours and she shouldn’t have been up.”

“So that makes it better?”

“I’m saying it wasn’t done maliciously as you’re making it out to be. How do you think I feel knowing she saw that?”

Bette was completely mortified by the discovery that her daughter had witnessed her having sex with her partner.

“I think you don’t give a shit Bette to be doing it in the pool where she can clearly see what’s going on.”

“Tina, I know it’s upsetting. Nobody is more upset then I am, but…”

“I can assure you she is and I’m a close second to that.”

Tina folded her arms across her chest in anger and disbelief that Bette was actually defending her position on the incident.

“You weren’t seen in a very private moment by your daughter, what are you so angry at? I’m the one that should be angry and mortified to say the least.”

“It isn’t about you Bette, stop making it all about yourself.”

“And you’re angry purely out of Angelica’s pain in seeing that?”

“I’m angry because if you want to fuck someone, be my guest! What I ask is that you be mature enough to use discretion when it comes to that. I don’t think I’m asking too much for you to keep it in your pants so to speak on the weekends that you have her, or at least until you’re under the covers in the privacy o f your bedroom where the door can be locked!”

“Keep it in my pants?” Bette mocked her in anger. “So let me get this straight. I’m not supposed to have sex with my partner when I have my daughter in the house ever? This is now my fault because she snuck out way past her bedtime for whatever reason. What was the reason anyway?”

“That’s not the point.”

“It is to me. You never even asked her when this happened or why she was even out of bed hours after her bedtime had passed did you?”

“I didn’t see the point in continuing to torture her with questions about what she saw.”

“I knew you didn’t, you just assume the worst don’t you?”

“No Bette, I don’t assume the worst! What I assume though is that you’re an adult that can hold off having sex when there’s a chance, even a slight one, that Angelica will see it!”

Bette took a deep breath in to calm herself down before the fight escalated to an even greater degree. She shook her head, repeating to herself in silence that this was her greatest fear, messing up once again to send Tina into a fit of anger.

“I’m sorry,” Bette said quietly. “It was never my intent to hurt Angelica or you.”

Tina was taken back by the softness and sincerity in Bette’s voice. She stopped pacing and stood staring at her, looking in her eyes at the emotion that crossed over them.

“What?” she asked.

Bette just shook her head and closed her eyes to stop tears from welling up in them.

“Look, I’m angry but I hope you can see my point.”

“I see it Tina, really I do. I’ll talk to Angelica about what she saw tomorrow when we talk to her about what happened to our relationship. I will also talk to Kristen and let her know what happened and why we’ll limit our sexual interaction when Angie’s in the house.”

The last sentence cut Tina deep, she saw that Bette clearly had no idea that Kristen was leaving her after the night was over.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come in here half-cocked and ready for a fight on your opening night.”

“You’re a mom first, I understand that.”

“So are you,” Tina said as she felt sadness and guilt seep into her feelings watching Bette react so sadly to their argument. “I should let you go mingle I guess. I know how important the show is to you.”

Tina waited for Bette to protest her leaving. When none came, she walked past her, putting her hand on Bette’s shoulder as she past, and exited the office leaving a saddened Bette there alone.




“Is she still alive” Shane asked as Tina rejoined the group.

Tina just nodded, taking a sip of her champagne and forcing herself to look anywhere other then at her friends.

“What’s wrong?” Alice asked.

“Nothing, just angry.”

“Angie, why don’t you and I try to find your Aunt Kit in this mess? I think I saw her come in, but I’ve lost her. Wanna give it a try?” Helena asked knowing that Tina needed some time to cool down without her daughter witnessing the process.

“Sure,” Angelica said bored out of her mind. She knew that Helena was trying to separate her from her mother so that Tina could fill the group in, but at this point it didn’t matter to her. She felt that in confiding to Tina what she saw, she cost herself her dream of her mothers reuniting.

Angelica held onto Helena’s hand as she rolled her eyes. She knew that she wouldn’t get lost, yet everyone there treated her as if she were still a child.

“Maybe we can find Mama B too?”

“Maybe,” Angelica said as Helena dragged her away from her mother.

“So what happened?” Alice asked as she laid a hand on Tina’s forearm.

“I found her, told her what Angelica said, yelled at her and told her to keep it in her pants basically.”

“Ouch, I bet that hurt.”

“That’s the strange part, she didn’t really fight back. She seemed sad, almost resigned.”

“Resigned?”

“Yeah Alice, resigned. That’s when you’ve come to terms with what happened and the consequences of it all, like she went down without a fight.”

“What exactly did you say?”

“I was angry Alice!”

“Perhaps you are and should be, but what did you say to make her resigned?”

“I don’t know exactly,” Tina finished her champagne as she closed her eyes. “I went completely off on her.”

“That’s not good,” Alice said. “Yesterday she came to me to apologize for biting my head off. She was going on and on about how she fears that she’s going to make that one move that sends you over the edge.”

“What does that mean?” Tina asked.

“It means that she’s already insecure that you won’t be there for her and then you go off on her. That can’t help her feeling that way.”

“Well I don’t know that she feels that way and I have a right to express when I’m angry. I’m not going to walk out of her life every time she pisses me off. But I have to express how I feel too Al.”

“Don’t shoot the messenger T.”

“I don’t want to shoot anyone. But I won’t tolerate my daughter seeing Bette fucking someone!”

“Is it that it’s someone or not you?” Alice asked the million-dollar question stunning not only Tina, but Shane and Dana as well.

“Shut up Alice,” Tina said in a warning tone.

“Just asking,” Alice said with her hands up in surrender fashion for the second time during the night.

“I’m going to head home, the crowd is thinning out anyway,” Tina said as she placed her empty glass down on the steps leading to one of the displays. “I’ve got a long day tomorrow catching up with work.”

Tina’s eyes scanned the crowd and spotted Helena and Angelica talking to Kit. She headed in that direction to collect her daughter and head home.





Bette sat down on the desk as Kristen’s heels kicked aside some used napkins that were dropped as people made their exit out of the gallery.

“You did well tonight,” Kristen remarked breaking Bette’s thoughts. “Why the sad face?”

“I had a fight.”

“With?”

“Tina.”

“Ah, got it,” Kristen said shaking her head knowingly.

“Got what?” Bette asked curious to the meaning behind Kristen’s words.

“I knew it had to be something big to bring you down on such an important night. Care to share what it was about?”

Kristen pulled out Bette’s desk chair and sat in it, taking her heels off and massaging her aching feet.

“Our daughter.”

“That I could have guessed. More specifically?”

“That she saw us making love in the pool a few weeks ago.”

“Oh,” Kristen’s eyes got wide at the admission. She hadn’t counted on playing a role in the argument between the two women.

“Oh? That’s all I get?”

“How about I’m sorry?”

“I am too,” Bette said sadly.

“Why is that? Because Angelica saw something she shouldn’t have? We are so careful Babe when she’s around. That’s one of the few times that we’ve gotten carried away when she’s been there. You’re a good mom Bette, regardless of what she saw you should know that.”

“I should huh?”

“Yes, you are one of the most confident people I know until it comes to either Tina or your daughter. You’re good to both of them and they know that too.”

“I need a fucking vacation,” Bette said as she rubber her head. “We need to plan something and soon.”

“I can’t go,” Kristen said sadly.

“What do you mean you can’t go? You’ve got vacation coming from work.”

“I need to tell you something and unfortunately it isn’t going to wait for timing to be better. I didn’t count on Tina starting a fight with you tonight.”

“What’s going on Kristen?”

“I want to say something to you Bette and I just want you to listen ok? No questions, no interruptions, no arguments need to be made.”

“You’re worrying me Honey.”

“I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you Bette. Not the persona that you let everyone see, but the woman I knew was underneath. I knew when I started this that it would end so I don’t blame you for anything, nothing at all when it comes to this.”

Bette stood up with a discouraged look on her face as she looked into Kristen’s teary eyes.

“I just considered myself lucky to get any time that I could with you so I took it knowing it would end because I’m not your true love.”

“Kristen,” Bette started to interrupt.

“Please,” she put her hand over Bette’s mouth to silence her. “Let me finish with some dignity ok? I will always be here for you, no matter what, but I have to love you enough to let you be with your true love. I have to love myself enough to not be second in my partner’s heart. I can’t do that when you love Tina with everything you are and belong with her.”

Kristen let her tears fall as she saw Bette’s eyes begin to well up with her own set of tears.

“You’ve touched me so deeply Bette. Not just my heart but my soul too. You’ve made me reprioritize my life, my goals have changed, my life won’t ever be the same because of your mark. I am a better woman for sharing your dreams, your life, your daughter even.”

Bette let her tears fall down her cheeks, not wanting to let go but knowing that Kristen was speaking the truth about where her love was directed.

“I’ve been essentially addicted to you Bette and wanting that so much in return. But I know now that you can’t give it to me, not entirely when you love someone else, when someone else is your soulmate.”

“I don’t believe in that shit anymore.”

“But I do Baby,” Kristen said as she wiped a tear away from Bette’s cheek. “I’m taking a job in New York because I can’t stay here and run into you knowing that I let the best thing that will ever happen to me go so she can be happy.”

“What if you’re my happiness?”

“Then I’m wrong, which I don’t think I am. But one day, if it’s meant to be then we’ll find our way back to one another. You’ve been my lover, my best friend, and I couldn’t ask for more Bette. Not from you when you love someone else like I want you to love me. I’d give anything to be in Tina’s position, but I won’t ever be her.”

“I never expected you to be Tina,” Bette wiped her own tears away now, feeling a small amount of anger setting in.

“I’m a dreamer Bette. I thought that I could do this, change you into loving me more then you do. I’ve seen you through so many things and you’ve been there for me too and that won’t ever change. Anytime you need me, you call, and I’ll be there for you. But I’ve got to leave and stop my own heart from breaking right now.”

Kristen gently pressed her lips to Bette’s as she let her tears fall freely down her face. She heard Bette’s intake of breath, her hands snaking their way around her back and holding her close. Kristen let Bette hold her for a few moments, no words being spoken, but then reluctantly broke the contact as she fought to gain composure.

“I love you and that won’t ever change Bette.”

Kristen grabbed her purse and headed toward the office door leaving Bette there alone and in tears.

“I’m sorry I have to put myself first right now, but if it is ever meant to be it will be Babe.”

She walked out leaving a sobbing Bette that sank back into her chair that smelled like Kristen since she sat in it last. She put her head in her hands and felt the sadness wash over her, giving into it and wishing someone were there to catch her.