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    Hindsight – Chapter 34

    Story written on February 15, 2007 by Jobadge.
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    Number of Comments: 36
    Words: 2015
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=64539
    Author Notes:

    Bette Porter: It was the most natural thing in the world to me, to touch her…, it was born out of instinct…

    Hindsight – Chapter 34

    Main Entry: hindsight
    Pronunciation: ‘hIn(d)-"sIt
    Function: noun

    Meaning:  understanding the nature of an event after it has happened

    "Hindsight is always better than foresight"

     

     

    “What were you doing…?” I had an idea, but it wasn’t for me to say.

     

    “Watching you…” she confirmed my thoughts, but I don’t think I was in any fit state to even acknowledge her presence last night, in fact I know I wasn’t, it wasn’t until this morning when I was sat on the bathroom floor that I knew they were here.

     

    “I’m sure that was riveting…, watching a drunken Porter with a bruised head sleep…”

     

    “I’ve missed watching you sleep…”

     

    I looked at her as she said the words, isn’t that just the thing that goes through my mind whenever I try and contemplate that thing that evaded me called sleep…  I looked down into the view of my coffee, should I say the things going through my mind, would it alter the course of the day, would it add to the emotions of the day, would it hurt to be honest with her…

     

    I took a deep breath before I could muster the courage to say the words, because they were thoughts that haunted me…, taunted me…, kept me awake…, kept me going…

     

    “I’ve missed waking up and seeing your face, which is why I can’t bear to sleep in that bed, because I know that when I wake up, you’re not there…”

     

    She looked at me, her eyes telling me to continue, telling me she was listening to everything I was saying to her, did she wanted to hear how much I had missed her…, did she, did she want to hear about the constant thoughts of her as I tried desperately to survive this life I had been dealt.

     

    I sighed, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t lay it all on the line at this moment…, right up to last night I was contemplating whether I could even carry on living this existence without them in my life, to be able to open up about how hard these last weeks had been, I’m not sure I was strong enough to be able to do that today…

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    Comments

    1. How can things be so sad and so great at the same time??? Only a brilliant writer can create that!!! Good one Jobadge….and whippersnapper pleeeaaase LOL

    2. Ahhhh… there’s nothing like thinking you’re alone in remembering, only to find out you share the memory with your loved one. There’s nothing like belonging – truly belonging with someone. I think this is a story of the realization of belonging. Just incredible, Jo.

    3. Wow … I so remember watching Room 222 when I was younger (I just turned 40) … great show, great message. Excerpted from IMDB.comEasy going American History teacher Pete Dixon, along with girlfriend Liz McIntyre, synical principal Seymore Kaufman and idealistic English teacher Alice Johnson, confront the various issues of the day at Walt Whitman High in Los Angeles, California. Among the students are shy Alice, crazy Bernie, militant Jason and genius Richie.

    10. argggghhhhh please…….another chappy tonight? i hate the wait……i cant help it……i am impatient as hell, and i will not apologize for it….this fic is too good…….lol…….

    12. I don’t usually comment but I really felt the wonderful, breath-taking moment that you created for our girls. Being on the edge of something terrifying and familiar. You surprised me, which is maybe the greatest gift you can give a reader. Thank you.

    16. Jo, once again you have amazed us. The love that is so obvious between them is the only thing that stops the excruciating pain that is their story. Please let things continue on the lounge chair. ski-bum, thanks for the remind on rm222. I couldn’t think of Mr. Dixon’s name.You don’t have to be that old to remember it, but I’m kinda thinking you have to at least be in your 40’s. OOPS, just busted a whole group of us.

    18. Very few your age on either side of the Atlantic would recognize the name, her shelf life, like most actresses’ was short, perhaps 1969-73: this show, some guest shots, and a couple of made for TV movies would comprise her entire oeuvre. But it was a special time for those of us who do recall. Maybe a good google would help.

    19. Jo, you have a way of putting such extreme emotion in play along with the characters and events in your stories. Your writing skills evoke such strong feelings in me that sometimes I not only sees your story in my mind, I can also smell it and feels it! When Bette went out back to smoke I could actually smell her cigarette. And when she reached up to touch Tina’s face only to abruptly retrieve her hand, I could feel my body flush with emotion, knowing that Tina had (although unintentionally) caused Bette more pain. Every time I think about how Tina is worried about how she is going to tell Henry I want to “share my thoughts” with her. Tina should be more worried about how Mikey is going to handle it, not Henry. She’s only known Henry for how many weeks??? Maybe she should think back to a time not so long ago when she was able to summon what had to be an unsurmountable amount of strength, to tell Bette that she was having feelings for men! Maybe that will help her to figure out a way to inform Henry of what he probably already knows, or should at least be expecting to some extent. Hopefully he won’t make it any more difficult that it already is because that will just make it worse on Mikey. Thank you Jo. You’re doing a wonderful job. Oh and I have to tell you something…there is another definition of “hindsight”: The extraordinary sight of Bette Porter’s ass in pair of Levis! LOL!! Wait! Don’t tell me…you didn’t have that all thought out ahead of time either, right? More…please!

    20. I’m with jp22, new memories. So its almost over huh? Well thats a bitter sweet thing to hear. I’m ready to find out how things go but i’m not ready to see the end. I totally love and agree with Anngie Mosby’s other definition of hindsight *Bette in Levis is HOT, Bette in anything is HOT!*. Great chap, thanks for the post. PPS

    29. Please please please please please please please take this where we think, hope, wish, crave, that you will take this… Please please, pretty pleaseeeee… Okay, I’m aware that at this stage of their progress toward each other, there is no question whatsoever of the next chapter being “Portard porn”, but just a tiny little something would be heaven for us… You know, we humble readers are not so hard to please… And this sexual tension is killing us, as well as you I’m sure… Oh, and by the way, you “hope” that we’ll stick with this story??? … Crazy woman, don’t you know what a “jobadgiction” is?! ;) PPS!

    31. Jo, Sad to know that the journey is nearly over but it has been one helluva ride. More ups and downs than a child on a swing. Sweet to see how the past and present are intertwined and how much these two belong together. After all this heartache, love can still mend and nurture. Awesome. Thank you so so much for this fabulous Fan fiction. Your Loyal Fan.

    34. This is so amazing it hurts. I really look forward to read your pieces: they are short but so intense, I think I couldn’t take it if they would be more than 1 page.

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