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    Hindsight – Chapter 34

     

    “Tina…, I know you want to know things, and I do too, I want to hear everything you have to say, but today has been so…, overwhelming…, heartwarming…, heartbreaking…, so many things…, but…, like you I need some time…, just to absorb it all…”

     

    “I can understand that…”

     

    “You know last night…” I stood up and walked the few steps to the French doors, looking out into the garden, “last night I was so close… to giving up…”

     

    “I gathered that… from what I saw when I got here…”

     

    “I’ve never been that close before…” I quietly said, not quiet believing the facts myself, after having a day of some sense of normality without alcohol or nicotine, it was only just sinking in how low I really had been…, only yesterday…

     

     

    “Bette…”  I didn’t turn as she said my name, but I knew she stood, I saw from my peripheral vision that she was walking toward me.  I felt her hand on my back, just a gentle touch, but I felt it all the same, did she realize that even a gentle touch would send shocks through my whole system.

     

    “I’m okay T… really…, it’s just been a…” I sighed… “long few weeks…”

     

    I turned to her and gave a small smile, it was all I could muster for the time being, I think the day was catching up on me.

     

    “How am I ever going to make this up to you…?”

     

    I shrugged my shoulders, that really wasn’t for me to say…, I had an opinion, or was it an opinion, no not really…, I had a wish.., a desire…, there was something I would give the world for…, but it really wasn’t for me to say…, was it…?

     

    “T…, you look really tired, why don’t you go lie down, I’m just gonna sit outside for a minute.”

     

    She smiled at me, “are you sure you wouldn’t mind, I am pretty tired actually…”

     

    I brought my hand to her cheek…, it was the most natural thing in the world to me, to touch her…, it was born out of instinct…, I looked into her eyes, I missed them too, just being able to look into her eyes.

    Page 2 of 3123

    Comments

    1. How can things be so sad and so great at the same time??? Only a brilliant writer can create that!!! Good one Jobadge….and whippersnapper pleeeaaase LOL

    2. Ahhhh… there’s nothing like thinking you’re alone in remembering, only to find out you share the memory with your loved one. There’s nothing like belonging – truly belonging with someone. I think this is a story of the realization of belonging. Just incredible, Jo.

    3. Wow … I so remember watching Room 222 when I was younger (I just turned 40) … great show, great message. Excerpted from IMDB.comEasy going American History teacher Pete Dixon, along with girlfriend Liz McIntyre, synical principal Seymore Kaufman and idealistic English teacher Alice Johnson, confront the various issues of the day at Walt Whitman High in Los Angeles, California. Among the students are shy Alice, crazy Bernie, militant Jason and genius Richie.

    4. argggghhhhh please…….another chappy tonight? i hate the wait……i cant help it……i am impatient as hell, and i will not apologize for it….this fic is too good…….lol…….

    5. I don’t usually comment but I really felt the wonderful, breath-taking moment that you created for our girls. Being on the edge of something terrifying and familiar. You surprised me, which is maybe the greatest gift you can give a reader. Thank you.

    6. Jo, once again you have amazed us. The love that is so obvious between them is the only thing that stops the excruciating pain that is their story. Please let things continue on the lounge chair. ski-bum, thanks for the remind on rm222. I couldn’t think of Mr. Dixon’s name.You don’t have to be that old to remember it, but I’m kinda thinking you have to at least be in your 40’s. OOPS, just busted a whole group of us.

    7. Very few your age on either side of the Atlantic would recognize the name, her shelf life, like most actresses’ was short, perhaps 1969-73: this show, some guest shots, and a couple of made for TV movies would comprise her entire oeuvre. But it was a special time for those of us who do recall. Maybe a good google would help.

    8. Jo, you have a way of putting such extreme emotion in play along with the characters and events in your stories. Your writing skills evoke such strong feelings in me that sometimes I not only sees your story in my mind, I can also smell it and feels it! When Bette went out back to smoke I could actually smell her cigarette. And when she reached up to touch Tina’s face only to abruptly retrieve her hand, I could feel my body flush with emotion, knowing that Tina had (although unintentionally) caused Bette more pain. Every time I think about how Tina is worried about how she is going to tell Henry I want to “share my thoughts” with her. Tina should be more worried about how Mikey is going to handle it, not Henry. She’s only known Henry for how many weeks??? Maybe she should think back to a time not so long ago when she was able to summon what had to be an unsurmountable amount of strength, to tell Bette that she was having feelings for men! Maybe that will help her to figure out a way to inform Henry of what he probably already knows, or should at least be expecting to some extent. Hopefully he won’t make it any more difficult that it already is because that will just make it worse on Mikey. Thank you Jo. You’re doing a wonderful job. Oh and I have to tell you something…there is another definition of “hindsight”: The extraordinary sight of Bette Porter’s ass in pair of Levis! LOL!! Wait! Don’t tell me…you didn’t have that all thought out ahead of time either, right? More…please!

    9. I’m with jp22, new memories. So its almost over huh? Well thats a bitter sweet thing to hear. I’m ready to find out how things go but i’m not ready to see the end. I totally love and agree with Anngie Mosby’s other definition of hindsight *Bette in Levis is HOT, Bette in anything is HOT!*. Great chap, thanks for the post. PPS

    10. Please please please please please please please take this where we think, hope, wish, crave, that you will take this… Please please, pretty pleaseeeee… Okay, I’m aware that at this stage of their progress toward each other, there is no question whatsoever of the next chapter being “Portard porn”, but just a tiny little something would be heaven for us… You know, we humble readers are not so hard to please… And this sexual tension is killing us, as well as you I’m sure… Oh, and by the way, you “hope” that we’ll stick with this story??? … Crazy woman, don’t you know what a “jobadgiction” is?! ;) PPS!

    11. Jo, Sad to know that the journey is nearly over but it has been one helluva ride. More ups and downs than a child on a swing. Sweet to see how the past and present are intertwined and how much these two belong together. After all this heartache, love can still mend and nurture. Awesome. Thank you so so much for this fabulous Fan fiction. Your Loyal Fan.

    12. This is so amazing it hurts. I really look forward to read your pieces: they are short but so intense, I think I couldn’t take it if they would be more than 1 page.

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