Shane’s Room

I pick up a pen and take out the diary that I bought earlier today.  I still have no idea how I am going to win Carmen back.  But I have a feeling that over the next six months, I have a journey of self discovery.  From now to 20 November, I have 185 days to figure out what I want.  Today is Day 1.

I have to love myself before I can truly love someone else. I have to accept my failures and weaknesses, and then I can accept the flaws of the other person in my life. This may be the most important phase of my life to date and I know it won’t be an easy ride.  

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The Planet – A week later

Jenny, Alice and Shane were hanging out.  Shane is quietly drinking her beer, looking miserable and terrible.

 “What’s up with her?”  Alice asks Jenny, pointing at Shane.

“She’s been like this since Carmen came to our place a week ago.” Jenny says.

“Carmen came over a week ago?”  Alice echoes with a high pitch voice.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She cries louder.

“I did!” Jenny denies.

“No, you didn’t!  Maybe you told you’re imaginary friend Jalice.”  Alice narrows her eyes.

“Really, I am sure I told someone.”  Jenny looked up, trying to remember who she told. 

“Hey, Jenny, back to earth please!”  Alice snaps her fingers in front of her.

“Oh.  Anyway, you were holing up with Tasha since she came back from Afghanistan.” She replies casually.

“Yeah, the sex was good.  We tried this new dildo prototype, it was fucking awesome.  I came in a position that you would never thought it was possible!”  She says in a dreamy voice.  “Never mind me, concentrate on her first, what else do you know before I ask the love sick puppy over there?”

“Not much, Paige hasn’t showed up since, which is weird as she normally comes over almost every other day.”  Jenny shrugs.

 “Why do you two always talk about me like I am not there?”  I shake my head, before I continue,  “I asked her to give me a second chance.”