Sharpen

             Up

                The

                     Knives 9

  The personal failures are out of sight
when all is forgotten will you help me rewind?
We’re standing on top of the world tonight
We’re on top of the world tonight

Ch 15

I walked.

 I walked for miles thinking about things like warm cookies, warm brandy, beaches, smog, and hot days. Walking on beaches. The waves crashing and breaking on beaches. Not thinking about looking at girls wander by with smiles with lust and fire in their sparkling eyes……..on beaches.

 I walk in wind that makes me stumble and fall. When I fall I cracked the visor I was wearing,I toucch my face and notice blood on my gloves and the wind cuts into my eyes, they felt like they bled frozen droplets. I walk in wind so cold that I felt sliced by it, it cut me, I bled cold, and I felt sleepy. I had been betrayed and left behind.  I walked knowing the sun wouldn’t rise for six months. Thinking I wouldn’t last for six more hours. Training at The Factory didn’t really ponder the artic. At the factory we were meant to belive that we could survive anything as long we had our will. There were no worse case scenarios. Everyday was the worst case scenario. That line my drill Sgt. gave me about my will it rang over and over in my head.

 And my will was fading.  

 And on and on I walked back to the outpost I destroyed looking for shelter. When I returned all I found were the merits of my ruination. Charred remains of my work, so efficient my work, nothing left of the research facility. Nothing. I saw something on the horizon, something in the sky, green lights…….I grabbed my binoculars and I had a look. I saw it maybe 9 or 10 clicks away…..maybe more…………. another facility. Could I make it? Would I fall into a crevice never to be seen again? Would I be eaten by a polar bear out for a midnight stroll?

One way to find out.

So I walked some more. And I walked and I stumbled. And I walked and I stumbled. And when I stumbled my suit tore on jagged edges, and I bled more frozen droplets. I jammed my spike into the earth to not slip, to not fall when the ground shifted and I was unsteady. Bones weary, eyes filled with blood so I could not see well in the swirling wind. So tired and I kept on walking fueled by betrayal.