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Planet Terror: Return to Oz
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Bette stood beside Helena, throwing pebbles into the leaf filled, mud clogged swimming pool. She wished she could use the damned thing for its intended purpose. Beside her, Helena bounced their daughter up and down on her lap. In the distance, four figures moved slowly toward them.
Helena and Bette watched as their friends arrived finally.
They looked defeated as they explained their failed experiment to Bette and Helena.
“You tried swinging—partner swapping?” Bette asked her friends incredulously.
“Well yeah.” Dylan answered for the sheepish foursome. “We were bored.”
“This whole ‘end of the world’ thing is getting old.” Lara agreed.
Helena nodded though her expression was perplexed. “But…girls, we’re on an island, with no one but each other. Do we really need all of this extra relationship drama?”
Alice thought about it and answered first. “We need drama totally.” She looked thoughtfully around at their surroundings. “Hey, you know what I’d like? A zombie fight or two.”
“Yeah!” Dylan shouted, standing suddenly. “Let’s go see if we can find a zombie.”
Catherine and Lara looked thrilled at the suggestion and began to gather weapons and ammunition.”
“Ummm…” Bette started halfheartedly. “nevermind.” She sighed and waved the strangely excited foursome onward. “Go find zombies and play target practice or something. Boring safe island, I know, it’s such a hard life for us all.”
“Toodles.” Helena said laughing as the four women walked away, again, laughing and talking.
“OOOOOOOOOkkkkkk.” Bette sat heavily beside Helena and rested her head on her thigh. Helena cooed to their daughter and Bette enjoyed the sound for awhile before speaking. “I hope they don’t find any zombies.” She said, stating the obvious for them both.
“They won’t. They’ll probably just shoot at cans or something instead. Maybe they’ll have an orgy.” Helena burst into laughter at her own joke and then stopped at once. “Oh.” She realized. “They probably will.” She and Bette giggled for a few minutes before falling silent again
“It is sorta boring without any fighting. What should we do with our time?” Bette asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. She leaned forward and her lips descended upon Helena’s neck.
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oooooooooh …. I like, creepy, dreams that predict what’s to come, clearly Bette doesn’t watch enough horror movies .. *grin* Now I need the next one because what I don’t need are recurrent dreams about Bette and Helena and all the others being eaten alive with only the baby left to watch the downfall of humanity, oh, and they sucked at the video game, poor Bette, maybe she needs some lessons in shooting things other than zombies :-D
oooohh, that shit is creepy…Bette and Helena need to sit down and have a long talk….I think thats the problem, they aren’t talking enough…yep…pps
“I have a dream, Mama!” Oops, wrong genre all together. So glad to see you back with a big load of spooky. Bette needs to learn to listen to Helena, cause way slower at picking up the vibe. I could mention some OTHER PEOPLE WHO’VE BEEN SLOW TO PICK UP THE VIBE. Jesus, you’d think rain would be a good excuse to sit down and write us more chapters! And Starbuck’s helebette? I’m shocked!
Excuse me, but what the fuck does Oz have to do with anything?
*shrug* what vibe? blame it on sofa anyway. she keeps distracting me with video games and other fun things. aaaanyway, the oz reference has something to do with other realms, helena’s potential for ‘madness’, and generally how creepy Return to Oz was. seriously, that was one creepy motherf*** movie. i highly recommend it:) and i highly recommend this starbucks drink that i invented. but anyway, don’t drink starbucks cuz its evil. eeeeeevvvvvviiiillllll!
DAMMIT, i’m a knob! i apologize, but that little comment meant as a response to funnyone was not, i repeat n.o.t. from sofasitter, it was from me. i was logged onto her computer and like a dolt, forgot to log on again with my proper name. my bad! anyway, I was saying that oz was about a bunch of stuff, and starbucks is evil. me, not sofa. ok, sorry again
Wow, things are really getting strange around here. It’s like sofasitter is channeling helebette. Or is SHE POSSESSED?
I like my version better.
me to
I totally warned you that would happen ….. or ‘did’ I?
Damn, that was downright scary to end up with. I’m all frightened now. Perhaps I should go do something light and airy to counteract the effects… But no, I’m going to putter around aimlessly (yet suitably creeped out) and then queue up at midnight in the local shop, in a dodgy neighborhood full of zombie-like neds and zombie-like yuppies, like the sad, sad person I am, so I that can–in true brain-dead fashion–further continue my thrilling descent into madness that is July of 2007, otherwise known as The Month What J.K. Rowling Done Ruint My Life and Turned Me into One of the Undead. Yes. Thrills. Chills. And the like. Numzies! Right, the chapter–’twas ace! Do more! Zarg!
Toodles! I love Helena’s Britisms, if that’s even a word. Bette and Helena do indeed appear headed for the rocks (a 28-second makeout session is beyond pathetic), but I have faith that a rebound is in the cards. I totally fell for the page 2 fake-out; modern-day zombies move at lightning speed, so the end really could come that quickly (and horrifically). The meaning of Helena’s dream, the helicopter scene, more zombie showdowns, and Belena makeup sex. So much to look forward to!