Fan Fiction
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Planet Terror: Return to Oz
28 Seconds Later…
Helena yawned as Bette continued to try to entice her with soft kisses and sweet words.
“I’m too tired.” Helena said, glancing over at their daughter as she slumbered in the shade. “Let’s go back and take a nap?”
Bette sighed and agreed. She was tired as well and wanted to get back to the hotel room.
Shots rang out from afar and both women looked up at once.
“Aw shit.” Bette said angrily. “Did they fucking find something? I am not fucking having this today.”
“GIRLS!” Helena shouted across the way.
The island was actually small enough to allow Alice and the others to hear Helena’s shout. Before long Bette and Helena heard an answering call.
“We’re fine!” Someone yelled. “FALSE ALARM!”
“YEAH!” Someone else called out. “JUST A PILE OF CLOTHES! OH!…WAIT!….”
Silence grew ominously around them.
“NO, NO!” It was Lara yelling this time. “ANOTHER FALSE ALARM!”
“Fucking false alarms…fucksakes…” Bette strode ahead of Helena, muttering to herself.
When Helena arrived at their room, she found Bette curled up in bed already. She placed the baby on the other side of her partner and spooned Bette from behind. Before long, Helena fell asleep with her face nuzzled against Bette’s neck.
“Helena?”
“Psst…”
“Helena…”
Helena awoke to the sound of Bette’s voice.
Bette held the baby and tried to rouse Helena to get up with her.
“someone’s here!” Bette said excitedly. Sure enough, Helena could hear a small airplane’s engine outside.
When they arrived at the plane, Alice, Lara, Catherine and Dylan stood waiting for them.
“Something’s wrong.” Lara said, shaking her head. “The pilot isn’t in their seat. No one’s come out.”
The group watched the door to the aircraft. Nothing moved or made a sound.
“Hey!” Bette shouted. The others raised their guns. “Is anyone in there?”
“Well obviously, someone flew the damned thing.” Dylan mumbled. “Can the infected fly?”
A ripple of fear moved through the group.
“the door’s opening…” Helena whispered, her leg raised. “Hello?”
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oooooooooh …. I like, creepy, dreams that predict what’s to come, clearly Bette doesn’t watch enough horror movies .. *grin* Now I need the next one because what I don’t need are recurrent dreams about Bette and Helena and all the others being eaten alive with only the baby left to watch the downfall of humanity, oh, and they sucked at the video game, poor Bette, maybe she needs some lessons in shooting things other than zombies :-D
oooohh, that shit is creepy…Bette and Helena need to sit down and have a long talk….I think thats the problem, they aren’t talking enough…yep…pps
“I have a dream, Mama!” Oops, wrong genre all together. So glad to see you back with a big load of spooky. Bette needs to learn to listen to Helena, cause way slower at picking up the vibe. I could mention some OTHER PEOPLE WHO’VE BEEN SLOW TO PICK UP THE VIBE. Jesus, you’d think rain would be a good excuse to sit down and write us more chapters! And Starbuck’s helebette? I’m shocked!
Excuse me, but what the fuck does Oz have to do with anything?
*shrug* what vibe? blame it on sofa anyway. she keeps distracting me with video games and other fun things. aaaanyway, the oz reference has something to do with other realms, helena’s potential for ‘madness’, and generally how creepy Return to Oz was. seriously, that was one creepy motherf*** movie. i highly recommend it:) and i highly recommend this starbucks drink that i invented. but anyway, don’t drink starbucks cuz its evil. eeeeeevvvvvviiiillllll!
DAMMIT, i’m a knob! i apologize, but that little comment meant as a response to funnyone was not, i repeat n.o.t. from sofasitter, it was from me. i was logged onto her computer and like a dolt, forgot to log on again with my proper name. my bad! anyway, I was saying that oz was about a bunch of stuff, and starbucks is evil. me, not sofa. ok, sorry again
Wow, things are really getting strange around here. It’s like sofasitter is channeling helebette. Or is SHE POSSESSED?
I like my version better.
me to
I totally warned you that would happen ….. or ‘did’ I?
Damn, that was downright scary to end up with. I’m all frightened now. Perhaps I should go do something light and airy to counteract the effects… But no, I’m going to putter around aimlessly (yet suitably creeped out) and then queue up at midnight in the local shop, in a dodgy neighborhood full of zombie-like neds and zombie-like yuppies, like the sad, sad person I am, so I that can–in true brain-dead fashion–further continue my thrilling descent into madness that is July of 2007, otherwise known as The Month What J.K. Rowling Done Ruint My Life and Turned Me into One of the Undead. Yes. Thrills. Chills. And the like. Numzies! Right, the chapter–’twas ace! Do more! Zarg!
Toodles! I love Helena’s Britisms, if that’s even a word. Bette and Helena do indeed appear headed for the rocks (a 28-second makeout session is beyond pathetic), but I have faith that a rebound is in the cards. I totally fell for the page 2 fake-out; modern-day zombies move at lightning speed, so the end really could come that quickly (and horrifically). The meaning of Helena’s dream, the helicopter scene, more zombie showdowns, and Belena makeup sex. So much to look forward to!