The Adventures Of Bette Porter And Sissee Gardner After Yale (Part 4, Chapter 8)

PART FOUR: NEWPORT BEACH, CALIFORNIA

Chapter 8

If Bette and I had taken a food course at Yale we would have flunked it. Neither one of us knew our way around the kitchen

That Sunday morning, in nothing but our robes, she opened the refrigerator door to see what was there. I could have told her nothing but wine but that just goes to show how little I knew about it.

She said indeed, there were four bottles of wine but there was also some eggs, a tub of margarine, half a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly and a quart of curdled milk.

“How old are the eggs? she asked.

“I have no idea. I didn’t even know I had eggs.”

“Do you think they’re any good?”

“Crack one over the sink and smell it,” I suggested.

She did and decided they were alright to use.

“Have you got a kettle?”

“A kettle to fry eggs in?”

“Yes.”“I don’t think so but I do have a cast iron frying pan,” I said, opening the oven, pulling out the pan and putting it on top of the stove.

“I’ll make the eggs,” she said. “You make some toast and set the table.”

“Yes dear,” I said with facetious humility. “I think I have a toaster.”

I began to open cupboards and search for one. My usual breakfast was a bowl of dry cereal with milk and fresh fruit if I had any, so to me eggs and toast would be a gourmet delight.

However……

Bette found a bottle of canola oil in the cupboard above the stove and poured a few glug-glugs of it into the pan. Then she turned the flame on high and walked away.

“Have you got salt and pepper?” she asked, looking over at the empty table.

I was still searching for the toaster. “Look above the stove,” I suggested.

She did and said, “Nope, not there.”

“Try the frig. I put everything in there so the ants don’t get it.”

She went to the refrigerator and looked on the door shelves, muttering, “Who keeps salt and pepper in the refrigerator? Ants don’t bother it.” I could hear her picking up jars and putting them down. “My God Sissee! Most of this stuff is moldy! You need to clean your refrigerator out