Music – CH4.

——————–

Before she could come up with logic and reason the words already escaped her mounth.
"I’m sorry Bette you can’t. I was just back here in LA for 3 months for business and I’m
moving back to New York next week. And I promised myself not to fall in love."

The feeling that rushed down her body, fear. She could feel it, it was creeping up on her
again. She felt her body going numb, why did she do this. This was all more than familiar
for Tina Kennard. It happened before and she could not stop it. She always backed out and
pushed people away once they became close enough to be able to hurt her. So in the
process she would hurt them, unintentionally but with the same effect as result.

Bette left but Tina couldn’t make herself to go into the house. Even though it would be the
same she couldn’t bear the emptiness that was waiting inside for her. The emptiness
just got a whole new meaning by the inevitable words she spoke. Inevitable in the world
according to Miss. Kennard. In her own world she always felt safe and secure but lately
more and more she got the feeling that she was being out casted of that world. She was
the one that out casted herself. She felt her body shaking and just in time she was able
to break her fall. She definitely could not go inside, she became afraid. Afraid of herself.

So she decided to go for a ride. It was already past midnight when she made the decision
and had picked herself up from the floor. She didn’t know how long she laid there but
it seemed too long. Where she would go, she did not know either. Away was all she could
think of. WIth that though she got into her car and drove. After a good 30 minutes of driving
she put on her radio but by hearing the first song that was playing she had to stop the
vehicle and pull over to the side.

Her head smashed into the steering wheel while the tears fell freely.

<<
yesterday I lost my closest friend
yesterday I wanted time to end
I wonder if my heart will ever mend
I just let you slip away
4 AM forever

maybe I’ll never see you smile again
maybe we thought that it was all pretend
all these words that I could never send
I just let them slip away
4 AM forever
>>