Chapter 11

Bette smiled at Angelica as she quickly signed the tab for dinner and wet her napkin with water to wipe Angelica’s messy hands. Conversation between her and Jodi was almost non-existent as Bette focused on Angelica and struggled with keeping her thoughts on those in front of her and not Tina.

“She only has 30 minutes before she gets a bath,” Bette signed to Jodi. “I think I’ll take her to Tina’s room and start her routine early so Tina won’t have to do it when she gets back from dinner.”

“Where was she going?” Jodi signed.

“She went to some Mexican restaurant with Kate.”

“Interesting,” Jodi said as she leaned back with a smile plastered on her face. “She seems to be getting closer to her doesn’t she?”

Bette’s only answer was in the form of her shoulders shrugging, trying desperately to ignore the jealous streak that shot through her blood.

“You have a problem with that don’t you?” Jodi challenged as she sat forward, resting her elbows on the table. “I can see it on your face that you don’t like it.”

“It’s not for me to like or dislike is it?”

“I know that,” Jodi signed quickly. “The question is do you?”

“I do,” Bette stopped wiping Angelica and reverted to sign language to keep their conversation as private as possible given the crowd in the restaurant. “But no matter who Tina is involved with, they still have access to my daughter and that makes it a concern of mine.”

“I don’t see that it does,” Jodi signed back. “It is up to Tina who she exposes Angelica to, not you.”

“I completely disagree,” Bette said as she focused on wiping Angelica’s hands once more.

“How would you feel if she told you that she wasn’t a fan of mine, but you still wanted to see me? She can’t control your feelings and so, she can’t control who you associate with and who Angelica is exposed to.”

“If Tina had concerns about you,” Bette signed slowly working to control her frustration. “I would hopefully address them by allowing her the opportunity to get to know you on a personal level.”

“Then you should spend time with her and Kate if that’s what it takes to make you comfortable,” Jodi said. “I’m sure you’ll find her just as charming as Tina does to be as close as they seem.”

“They aren’t that close,” Bette said in a dismissive tone.

Jodi reached out, using her index finger under Bette’s chin to turn her head toward her eyes so she could better communicate.

“If Kate came all the way here from California,” Jodi signed slowly to make her point. “They are closer than you think Bette.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Bette said as she got up and lifted Angelica out of her highchair.

“Because you don’t want to face it,” Jodi said louder. “She’s moved on and I thought you had too.”

“I have,” Bette said standing above Jodi who remained seated. “If I hadn’t moved on would I be here after lugging that sign across country?”

“You tell me,” Jodi challenged as Bette hunched her shoulders in defeat.

“I’m going to get Angelica back to Tina’s room,” Bette said dismissing the conversation. “I’ll meet you back in our room once Angie is down for the night.”

Jodi watched as Bette walked purposefully out of the restaurant toward Tina’s room. Once she faded out of sight by turning down the hallway, Jodi threw her napkin on the table in frustration.

“Don’t you dare break my heart Bette.”

Tina was thankful Kate had only consumed one drink to the three she had enjoyed. Dinner was casual, Kate sat back for the first part of it and caught up on Tina’s progress on the rewrite for Lez Girls. Tina filled her in on the general outline to date, watching for any expression changes she could decipher on Kate’s face.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened between Bette and I?” Tina asked boldly as she enjoyed her second margarita. “I mean I practically broke down on you back at the hotel.”

“I think I know,” Kate said as she leaned forward to get closer to Tina. She laughed when Tina arched her eyebrow in disbelief that Kate would really know. “I warned you to be careful of your heart. And you’ve basically told me what happened, you told her you had feelings for her and she gave you a strong message that she wants Jodi.”

“I’m pathetic aren’t I?” Tina said sadly.

“No, loyal and caring, those are not pathetic emotions.”

Tina scoffed as she sipped her drink gazing across the table at Kate smiling back at her.

“What you do about it now is what defines whether you’re pathetic or not,” Kate said sipping her drink slowly. “If you sit around and pine after your ex while she moves on with Jodi, then there is a distinct possibility that you could be classified as pathetic.”

Tina laughed at the tone of voice that Kate used to illustrate her point. She was attempting to keep the conversation light even though the concepts of it were anything but.

“I think you should come back with me,” Kate said as her smile disappeared to show Tina how serious she was. “Heal your wounds from afar and if Bette wants to see Angelica, then she should do it at home, where both you and Angie belong.”

“I was enjoying the escape from Jenny,” Tina teased.

“I can arrange that even back home. Jenny is the least of your concerns at this point. The rewrite and movie will survive despite her now that I’ve got complete backing from the studio. Let’s go home and work on not being pathetic together.”

That last sentence rang in Tina’s ears once more as she settled in the passenger seat of Kate’s rental car. Her head was swimming from the alcohol she’d consumed, but there was no escaping the meaning behind Kate’s words. She wanted to take Tina home and begin a new chapter in their relationship.

“What if I can’t do it?” Tina hesitantly asked her question with her eyes still closed and her head resting against the headrest.

“Do what?”

“Move on so I’m not a pathetic mess anymore?”

“You can,” Kate assured her as she turned into the hotel parking lot. “It will take time, but time heals all and you’ll find that out soon enough.”

“She’ll always be a part of my life ya know.”

“I’m aware,” Kate parked the car and shut the engine off turning to look at Tina beside her. “And nobody is taking that away from you, she’ll always be an important part of your life even beyond the obvious reason of you and her sharing a daughter. Giving someone else a chance doesn’t mean minimizing that, it means having a future, with Bette in it that just may be a little different than what you thought it would be.”

Kate got out of the car and smiled as Tina reluctantly got out of her side and followed her toward the hotel. She held her hand as they walked down the hall together, making their way through the maze of rooms to get to Tina’s on the other end of the building.

Tina used her key to open the door, surprised to see the lights on and voices coming from the bathroom. She recognized Bette’s immediately, laughing as she heard Angelica cackle at Bette’s reaction to being splashed.

“Hello?” Tina called out.

“In here,” Bette shouted back. “I was just finishing up Angelica’s bath.”

Tina threw her purse down on the couch and signaled for Kate to follow her.

“You have to see this,” Tina snickered. “She is so adorable in the bathtub.”

Both Tina and Kate stood in the doorway as Bette finished rinsing Angelica off and focused on getting her out of the tub while minimizing the puddles that were sure to form on the ground to join the others Angelica created through her playful splashing.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Bette said before turning to face Tina. “I wanted to talk to you if you have some time…”

Bette’s voice trailed off as she turned and saw Kate standing behind Tina in the doorway.

“Oh,” Bette said trying to hide her disappointment. “I didn’t know you had company.”

“We just finished up dinner,” Tina said smiling at Angelica babbling to her excitedly.

“How was it?”

“Excellent,” Tina said with a smile. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had Mexican food so authentic outside of Mexico. How was yours?”

“Good,” Bette said trying to sound enthusiastic in front of Kate. “Well as good as hotel food can be I suppose.”

“You said you wanted to talk to me?”

“I did,” Bette smiled in Kate’s direction. “It can wait though.”

“Well I wanted to talk to you as well,” Tina said hesitantly as Bette dressed Angelica in her pajamas. “Kate’s work here is done and there are no sites that are going to work out as The Planet. That means that we’ll be using a site in West Hollywood.”

“That’s good news right?”

“In terms of being close to home for the actual shooting yeah,” Tina bent down to hug Angelica as she wrapped her arms around Tina’s legs. “But that means the time it takes to find a site has been compressed so I have to head back home later tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Bette’s voice was a mixture of sadness and surprise. “But you just got here!”

“You were planning on leaving next week with me anyway right? This is just a few days earlier than what we originally thought and as much as I would love to stay, I have to get back and work on rewriting this as well as my other responsibilities on the movie.”

Bette looked up at Kate, stringing expletives together silently in her head. She knew she shouldn’t blame Kate, because Tina was right it wasn’t that far off from the arrangement they had discussed. It was, however, easier to blame Kate for that rather than acknowledge her discomfort with how close Tina and Kate now seemed.

“I know,” Bette felt it best to agree rather than beg for Tina to stay. “I know it took a lot for you to arrange to come out here so I could see Angie in the first place.”

Tina was slightly surprised at how well Bette was taking the news of her changed plans, in the past she would have tried to engage Tina in a debate on why she should stay and ultimately get her way. Tonight, however, Bette made no effort to engage in that behavior.

“When would you be leaving?”

“Later in the day tomorrow,” Kate offered. “I’ve had the studio e-mail me the flights available and I chose one that leaves around 5:00.”

“I’ll just have them book Angelica and I on that one if that’s ok?”

“Sure,” Bette said as she offered Tina a weak smile. “Can we meet for breakfast tomorrow and talk if you have a chance?”

“Sure,” Tina agreed, knowing the topic of conversation was likely the feelings she shared with Bette earlier and dreading the pending conversation.

Bette bent down and kissed Angelica as she rubbed her eyes, signaling just how tired she was after a long day playing in the park.

“You better get to bed Boo,” Bette said as she carried her toward Tina’s bedroom. “May I?”

“Please,” Tina kissed Angelica and allowed Bette to put her to bed alone.

When Bette emerged from the bedroom, she smiled at Kate and Tina and quickly said goodnight, confirming their breakfast plans tomorrow morning. She walked out the door and down the hallway before stopping to lean against the wall and compose herself. She spotted the quiet bar across the lobby, the only noise seemingly coming from the fire that crackled away in the fireplace.

Bette walked across the lobby and into the bar, heading straight for the seat before the fire, and removing her phone from her pocket. She hit her speed dial for the familiar number, desperate to talk to someone, to take her mind off her mixed emotions.

When Alice answered her cell phone, she plugged her other ear with her finger in an attempt to block out the background noise around her.

“Hello?” Alice shouted into her phone.

“Jesus Al,” Bette responded thankful Alice had picked her phone up. “You don’t have to shout.”

“You do know there is a time difference from where you are and the place you call home right? I have to yell because I am in the thick of dinner at The Planet, meaning everyone is packed in here and you can’t hear yourself think.”

“You want me to let you go?”

“No,” Alice signaled to Shane and Tasha that she was taking the call outside. “Let me walk out of here though so I can hear you better.”

Bette knew the exact moment that Alice walked outside because the background noise lessened, as did Alice’s tone of voice.

“Now to what do I owe this pleasure Principle Porter?”

“Why must you call me that?”

“If I didn’t I simply wouldn’t be myself. Now are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“What makes you think something has to be wrong for me to call you?” Bette asked.

“Several reasons,” Alice sat down leaning against the brick wall of The Planet. “First because you are there with Jodi and shouldn’t have much time to talk to little ol’ me if you’re busy making up for lost time. Add to that the fact that Tina and Angelica are there and you should barely have time to pee let alone call back home.”

Bette sighed as she followed Alice’s logic.

“It scares me that I agree with you,” Bette said as she sat back in front of the fire. “It’s been a shitty day and I wanted to just relax and for someone to make me smile.”

“How honored am I that you called me?” Alice teased. “What happened?”

“Tina is going home tomorrow.”

“Why?” Alice scolded. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Bette snapped back in her defense. “It’s just been a long few days I think.”

“I can’t help you if you don’t spill the beans.”

“Where to start?” Bette asked rhetorically but wasn’t shocked when Alice answered anyway.

“The beginning.”

“Obviously,” Bette said softly. “Kate showed up.”

“Wow!” Alice’s eyes widened at the juicy piece of gossip Bette had just shared. “I didn’t expect that.”

“She said she was doing some location scouting, which didn’t work out, so good news is that Jenny’s piece of shit Lez Girls will be filmed in our backyard.”

“That is good news, for a second I thought she was doing the ‘scary stalker thing’ and followed Tina to New York.”

“No,” Bette assured her. “But in an effort to help Tina and for some odd reason keep her busy, I offered to help her rewrite that piece of garbage.”

“Like you don’t know why you offered to help.”

“I don’t,” Bette insisted.

“It’s because you didn’t want her to spend that time with Kate,” Alice said matter-of-factly. “Even I know that.”

“I have Jodi,” Bette reminded Alice.

“Yes you do,” Alice treaded lightly on the topic of conversation. “So why did you care that she was spending time with Kate, and please don’t insult my superior skills by trying to tell me otherwise. It will really only be a waste of our time.”

“Ok Alice,” Bette said. “If you have such skills then why was I upset?”

“Because you’re Bette and Tina,” Alice said as if the answer were obvious. “You’re yin and yang. You’re Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Get what I’m saying?”

“I think,” Bette answered hesitantly.

“I don’t know why you’re fighting your feelings,” Alice continued. “You complete each other and yet neither one of you seem to figure that out.”

“This isn’t Jerry McGuire Alice.”

“No,” Alice agreed with a smug look on her face. “But even though it isn’t, the fact that Kate bothers you because she likes Tina tells me that maybe you don’t want to move on, despite your actions of forcing Fatty and I to steal that sign with you.”

“I was so hurt Alice,” Bette said seriously as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes briefly. “Before I cheated with Candace, I could have gotten past all those things that we did to each other to hurt our relationship. But after Candace….”

“And Tina with Hels,” Alice interjected.

“Not even so much Helena, because I can compete on that level. It’s Henry that just…” Bette paused to gather her thoughts. “Crushed me.”

Alice could hear the pain in Bette’s voice. She longed to help her friend, but knew it was a better idea to just let her talk about her feelings as she struggled to work through them.

“She told me today that she still loved me and wanted me back,” Bette admitted as Alice smiled, proud of Tina’s bold move. “And I just couldn’t respond.”

“Why the hell not?!” Alice shrieked.

“I’m not sure,” Bette admitted.

“I know why!” Alice shot back. “Because you’re emotionally stunted. You really can’t express any emotions whatsoever and typically it’s ok because Tina is an emotional overachiever. But in this case, she can’t overachieve for you, you have to do the work yourself Bette!”

“I’m emotionally stunted?”

“Get over it,” Alice said dismissively. “You called and so I’ll give you my opinion. I actually told Tina when I dropped her off that it wasn’t a good idea for her to be there, rewriting that shit plus confronting you and Jodi together. But she did it because she knows that she needs to move past you in order to get on with her life, whether it be with Kate or someone else.”

Bette cringed at Alice’s recollection of the conversation between her and Tina at the airport.

“Why are you with Jodi if you still have feelings for Tina?”

“Because I can’t go back there Alice,” Bette answered softly as she felt the tears fall down her cheeks. “I’m so afraid of what Henry represented and if I don’t feel safe in a relationship, how can I ever let my guard down and make it work?”

“The first question you need to ask yourself is how can you be in a relationship with Jodi when you’ll never have what you did with Tina, and that’s when you were at your happiest. You can’t ever escape that.”

“Jodi told me to not break her heart,” Bette admitted as she wiped her tears away.

“And that is exactly what you’re doing if you continue to pretend to be in love with her when you’re not,” Alice said as Shane appeared before her. “She deserves to have all of your heart Bette if you’re going to be in a relationship with her. If you can’t give her that, then you have to be honest with her, and for God’s sake be honest with Tina.”

Bette listened quietly.

“Look,” Alice said as Shane helped her up off the ground. “Fatty is here and we need to get to Wax to rearrange some things there, but think about what I said. Take your time because no matter what, someone’s heart will be broken. Just make sure it isn’t yours or the woman that you love’s because those are the two people that matter to me.”