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How could you forget us? Chapter 20
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Chapter 20
The rest of their ride home from dropping Jun and Wilson off was very quiet. Helena search herself to see what she was doing that made Bette feel so unsettled. She questioned herself about what is was that she wanted from Bette and whether they could they regain their former relationship. Once they were inside the house, Helena held Bette’s hand and pulled her to face her. Studying Bette’s face and seeing the worry on it, Helena caressed Bette’s face and smiled, “Bette darling, you need to stop worrying so much. Let’s enjoy our time together.”
“I am but Helena I feel like a part of you is telling me goodbye. Like you plan to stay here and send me home. Talk to me. Please, tell me that’s not true.”
Helena pulled Bette close and held her tight. Kissing her on the cheek, Helena said. “Bette I love you, please let’s just enjoy each other.”
“But Helena, I feel like that’s not enough? Why do I fell like you and I are over?”
Helena stared deeply into Bette’s eyes, caressing her face with her finger tips and then her lips. She then kissed Bette gently on the lips, saying softly, “Bette I am so afraid of you. I am afraid of how I came totally apart over you. I am afraid of losing myself in you. I need to be able to hold a little back so that in case…” Helena did not finish her thought.
“Just in case I break your heart again.”
“Yes, so that in case you break my heart again, I will not feel like I wanted to die.”
Walking away from Bette, Helena continued to explain, “Bette it would be so easy to open myself to you. Let you make mad passionate love to me. But I guess I would always be worrying about when the other shoe might drop. I don’t want to be in a relationship like that. I want to be able to trust you again. I want to feel sure about us. I want to not have to worry about who you are with and what you are doing. I don’t want to do that to you.”
“I don’t want you to worry either. Helena, you are the only person I want to be with. It kills me that I have lost your trust but I understand why and that’s on me to regain it. Helena relationships are work. Maybe the work we put in now will make it easier for us when other difficulties come about in the future. But I want you to know, I will do whatever it takes to make this work. Whatever…”
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Squirl, you never, ever, not never disappoint!! Good to hear the dialogue that they are really talking…and Bette had the nerve to be jealous..ha! PPS
As I was reading this story this song was playing on my computer. It was a great choice. It fit well with this story. Excellent update!
great conversation but bette is gonna move to NY and leaver her daughter and be with helena and her kids instead????
I love that song!!! I cried when I first heard it. good choice for them not to go to bed right away.
I still can’t believe that Bette has already made a decision of moving to New York without even considering that the move means she will be away from Angelica for a long time unless she pays a visit to the kid. This BETTE deserved to be abandoned by her mother when she was 3…..thanks for posting.
loved jealous Bette!!very funny…I’m still worried about Bette separating from Angelica…mmm…can of worms. pps
I totally agree with BeLena here, but then again, I don’t think Bette will actually leave Angie behind. She’s just not thinking rationally right now. In fact, I’m pretty sure even Helena wouldn’t allow this to happen.
I can’t believe she’s actually considering leaving her child behind? This is wrong, you should never leave your child for a lover. No good Bette, definitely no good
Hello Squirl, I can’t imagine how much pain Bette is in to even consider leaving Angelica behind, I can totally understand why everyone is surprised that Bette might consider this, but I don’t think that this is the only important issue being brought up, this is a huge step she is taking to ensure that Helena really understands how truly sorry she is, this sacrifice is one that should really send Helena looking into the mirror, would she be willing to do the same thing for Bette if their roles were reversed, Helena’s stay in LA was her choice and she chose to live away from her Children, as this is Bette’s choice, but the main difference is Bette is doing this not only for Helena but for herself, she is trying to show the women she loves just how far she is willing to go. I don’t want Bette away from Angelica anymore then she would want to be, but sometimes we have to make choices that might not seem logical, she is being lead by her heart, not her mind. I hope that eventually Helena might allow Bette back in completely, but here and now she should realize what Bette is willing to sacrifice for her. Another note is Helena should not have even broached the issue of having a child with Bette until she felt they were in a place of Trust and forgiveness, which she stated might never happen, this is a move of manipulation, one she might have used back when she had the resources at her disposal, she might be allowing her new found status to interfere with the life she might have wanted with Bette, because she obviously doesn’t want that life at the moment, so why even tell her, to make her suffer like you suffered, why? (Again I’m not sure that all made sense :P) Sincerely, JC
S, I had to read the last few chapters cause I was away on a mini vacatin and loved every single one, and loved the song by Alicia Keys..
Hey Squirl, loved that sexual push and pull going on! Steammmmy. As for Bette, she needs to get her head out of her butt. Sorry, but if Bette were my g/f and so willing to leave her daughter behind for me, I would lose alot of respect for her. I hope she rethinks that. Awesome chappy.
Peggy, as usual, has *impeccable* timing. It’s maybe for the best though, as a new start is definitely the way forward. I’m glad Bette is willing to do whatever it takes, but like the others, my very first thought was of Bette leaving Angelica behind. Can she do it, or is she expecting to borrow the Peabody jet for frequent trips? Or will Helena come back to LA? (She’s already left her own children once, can she do so again?) There has to be a happy middle ground somewhere, right? Thanks for such good chapter, Squirl. More when you can please.