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And Yet
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"We should talk."
Tina sighed. “I know.”
Was it only three days ago that they shared a kiss? The moment where everything fell into place and took them back to the time when holding each other was not the forbidden act it was today. Feeling the other’s breath and warming to the softness of eager mouths that met with passion.
It was so easy.
So real.
And it felt so good.
Most of all, even for just that moment, everything was perfect.
“I’m not going to hide that I’ve wanted that for some time now.” Thinking back she almost shuddered from the recent dating experience and having to compare everyone with Bette. The younger woman offered from her core, “Having you near me, it felt so right.”
It was more than a kiss.
It was longing.
It was regret.
A wish.
And hope, there was also hope.
A fountain of feeling wrapped in a shared moment that stole them from their present and reminded them of what was and more.
Looking away it occurred to her it would serve no one to hold back now. “I’ve missed holding you. Showing you that I want you. Touching you. Feeling how soft…”
“We shouldn’t. I can’t.” Bette tried to persuade her companion if not herself to cease. “I’m with Jodi and -”
“Do you love her?” Tina interrupted. Again posing the question from the night of the party. Unconvinced with the answer because her head insisted it couldn’t be true. How could it? Even if in her heart she wished for Bette’s happiness…
Please, she called out silently to anyone who would listen. It can’t be true.
She remembered the brunette’s expression that night. Her former partner was thoroughly frustrated and discouraged because of those ‘whys’.
The whys.
The damn whys that she couldn’t, to this day answer. In many ways it didn’t matter anymore. Her resistance to pushing anything beyond what happened was testament to the person she’d become. Stronger yet softer. Loyal and loving.
“I do.” Bette confirmed again. ”I love her.”
The side that wasn’t visible to her ex flinched. Half of Tina’s jaw clenched almost viciously while she tried to forestall any other physical movement. The blonde kept to herself the tightening of her chest that bordered on what would merit a call to a physician.
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Well done. Poignant interpretation. Thanks for writing.
‘I found Bette’s noise complaint hilarious.’… Me too. ;-)
Well, at least they both know that it is hard for them to watch each other move on. Bette seems to struggle with this concept even more than Tina. Tina has sat and watched Bette play house with jodi and yet Bette is freaking out when Tina goes out and plays house with the heart doctor. Maybe Bette and Tina should be playing house with each other and living under the same roof with Angelica.
lwordid, there is never the case of ‘one line too many’ with your writing. if anything, this reader clings on to EVERY word of every line of your writing. love your writing, as usual. thanks for the post.
Mostly hearts do not give up, people do but not their heart
I do believe this is where IC is taking us/them.. So sad
What a wonderful beginning, full of hope, yet full of sadness. When I read this, “She loves me and she’s encouraged me to be more than I was,” Bette continued quietly. “To view myself and want to be different because it mattered to her.” My first thought was that I would hope Bette wanted to be more…to do things differently because it mattered to her, not to Jodie. Again, wonderful start…thanks!
As Starburst just said, this reader also clings on to every word of every line of your writing. Thanks for writing this, and I hope to read more from you soon.
wonderful insights, though i don’t see how jodi is the one who makes bette better…i think bette wants to think that