Inevitably there are times were you find yourself in the worst case-scenario. When the worst-scenario comes… clinging to hope is all we’ve got left.

At some point we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell our self the reality is better. We convince our self that we never dream at all… but the strongest of us the most determine of us, we hold on to the dream. Dreams do come true…but, they get fucked up by life….

Like in this very second… I could be in my NY studio having amazing fucking sex, with my hot superstar wife but no… no… I’ve been standing here for the past 4 hours outside the hospital… waiting for a sing… something… don’t know what… just, anything…. a dream of mine? you ask? …Not really, this wasn’t even in my worst nightmare…

“Carmen are you going to come in… it’s been almost 5 hours?” Alice asked… has it been that long since I got here?… I can’t just go inside… I have to think… if I go in, I will see her…. After 5 years I would finally see the woman I loved to hate, for leaving me when I needed her the most… the woman who left me in the altar wearing this beautiful dress… the woman who made me hate weddings…

“Carmen…”

“…I hate the bride thing… I hate the picture in the magazines with the girl with the veil and the flowers that she’s sniffing like it never occurred to her to stick her nose in there until there was a camera pointed at her. I hate the idea of bridesmaids and the colors… and does bustle make my ass look bigger or smaller, I hate the whole thing, and I never want to be that girl again. That girl was stupid and shallow… Why the hell is that girl’s thought running through my head?”

“Carmen… if this-”

“I’m going to do it Alice… I’m going to walk thought does door, I just need to make sure that when I’m standing in front of her, I’m not thinking about my wedding dress… and that’s going to take another minute”