"Bette……"

  What? Where am I? All around me is swirling darkness and infinite space. The only sound is my heavy breathing and, of course, hers.

"Bette…."

  She keeps calling my name as I spin around in every direction to find the source. I keep twirling until the point of nausea and sink to my knees and it’s then that she appears. She’s naked, her skin the color of a fresh peach; her hair like corn silk. As she walks toward me , she continues to call my name.

"Bette…I love you…"

  No matter how many times I hear it, I still don’t believe it’s true. Love has a funny way of turning around to bite you in the ass.

"Bette…I will always love you…"

  Always. Huh, who knew that always would mean eight years. I’d hate to see what her forever is.

"Bette…please stop…"

  Stop? Stop what? I haven’t moved from this spot.

"Bette…please stop…it hurts…."

 Her voice shifts from that of ethereal softness to one tinged with pain.

 What hurts? What the hell is going on here?

"Oh, god…it hurts so bad….please stop…I’m so sorry…"

  No. I’m not going through this again. This was not my fault. It was an accident.

"Bette! Bette, please! BETTE!!!"

 I am awoken from my nightmare by the combination of her screams to the loud banging at my door. Grabbing a pair of loose jeans, I trudge my way to the offending noise. Not bothering to see who it is, I swing the door open, anger clear on my face. "Wow, you look like hell,". Alice always had a way with words. "Well, good morning to you, too," I mumble as I head to the couch, sitting down with an annoyed sigh. Alice surveyed my apartment like a detective, picking items to question me about. Her eyes land on my hunched over figure sitting on the way too comfortable piece of furniture. She sit next to me quietly for a few seconds while she thinks of something to say. She shifts toward me and begins to speak but stopped short by my appearance. My posture screams madness. My once tamed curls are now ratty and hang in my face. The bags under my eyes are so deep and dark they rival every black hole in the universe. The last real meal I’ve had in ages was last night and can be seen in the way my clothes hand loosely on my body. I’m mere missed meals away from resembling a skeleton. But I’m alive right? Apparently Alice does think the same way I do.

  "Oh, Bette," she croaks as a tentative hand reaches out to stroke my hair. As it nears, I pull away. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be bothered. Maybe it’s because after the night I just had, I could go the rest of my never being touched again. Maybe because those are too familiar right now. Her hand retracts and she lowers her head. "I’m sorry. It’s just that you look so…beaten down," Alice says, barely above a whisper. I’ve got way too much to deal with right now than to worry about how I look to someone I haven’t spoken to in over a year. Ever since Tina- fuck it. Never mind Tina. I don’t to be reminded about her right now by Alice; she does that enough on her own. "Leave". "What did you say, Bette?" "Leave," I say a little louder. " "But-but, I just got here-" "Leave. Now!" The anger in my voice in venomous. "Bette, please calm down!" Hysteria raises in Alice’s voice as she place a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to steady me. A very bad mood. The first word that pops in my mind is danger and I only know one way to combat it. I swiftly grab her by the wrist and yank her off the couch. I see her wince in pain, but in this state, I could care less. I drag her across the room, open the door and literally throw her out. I slam the door and sink against and wait for myself to stop seeing red. I’m not sure how long I sit there, but when I finally move, I feel a thick wetness in my ears. They’re bleeding. It’s starting again. I hope it won’t be like last time, but I already know it will. Whether she’s willing to admit it or not, she likes Helena. She likes her a lot.