Fan Fiction
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Fog
She was never the one to take risks. She always preferred safe options and paths literally and metaphorically. However, this night was not any night. Never before had she felt so alert and hypnotized at the same time. Never before had she felt so intrigued, curious and afraid. She couldn’t remember a time that she simply felt so much alive and challenged. That was it. She was challenged.
She stepped outside taking a flashlight that she kept in the car for an emergency and approached the dog.
“Ok. You brought me here.” She said to the dog decisively.
Once again the dog turned around and began walking up a steep path on the rocks.
“Great! Now we’re going climbing.” She said to herself but followed the dog on the path.
As they were moving up the mountain Dana noticed that the fog was not as thick as before but when she looked lower she realized that they just moved away from it. However, the atmosphere was still really humid and she could feel it on her skin. Her breathing was becoming labored and her hair was already wet. Some of the loose strands were stuck on her face and they tickled her but that was the least of her concerns. She just wished this whole thing was not just a stupid mistake, that it was not the first and the last risk she would ever take.
The path was becoming steeper and she started using one of her hands to move while trying to light up the way with the flashlight she was holding in the other. The dog kept on moving sending little stones and dust towards Dana who followed quite closely behind.
“I’m gonna have fun coming down. Maybe I’ll get lucky and break my neck” she said to herself sarcastically.
Few minutes later the dog climbed on a huge flat rock and sat waiting for Dana. She arrived almost crawling and stood next to the sitting dog breathing heavily. Initially she was too concentrated on her breathing and the little cut on the palm of her right hand to notice the sight in front of her. But when she did she stood there frozen to the spot until tears appeared in her eyes.
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(32 votes, average: 3.34 out of 5)
What a powerful chapter! You are correct that we tend to miss the beauty and wonder around us when we focus on the artificial, technical distractions which are so common-place now. That was an epiphany and a rebirth for Dana. Love that Dana brought the dog home — even if he isn’t going to stay. Can’t wait to see how Dana changes herself and her path as a result of her night. Thanks so much!! Great story, observer!
I echo what MaGoose said. Furthermore, at first I could only think of the dog like Stephen King’s Cujo, scary! By the end of this chapter, I feel that it was almost fairy like. It was never threatening but patient. I love how it led D up the hill and waited her to invite him into the car. And the fact that it refused to enter the house, I think the dog must think it was too filthy and rather stayed outside until the morning when D would be more energetic to clean it up. Excellent plot, The Observer! I am ready to follow D on this journey. Lastly, you are doing just fine. There is no need to apologize for the writing as long as you deliver your point. Thank you!