Dare to Dream

A Tibette Beginning

Chapter 9

Previously…

“Bette if you are ready to talk to me about it I would like to know what happened.”

A look of terror shot across Bette’s face until her eyes met the hazel eyes full of worry, and love looking into her soul. Immediately Bette felt her walls start to crumble. She wanted Tina to be the one who made her heart whole again….

Bette took a deep breath and looked into Tina’s hazel eyes, they had a remarkable calming effect on her. “Jodi and I were together for five years. We were crazy in love, and just plain crazy. The first three years we were together we partied all the time went out to clubs, had a great time together everything seemed to be going great. It only seemed natural to talk about settling down and starting a family. We were both really excited about having a baby. Over the next year we both settled way down. We bought a house, found a donor, and I got pregnant. It was wonderful we were so much in love. There were a few times she went out with friends and didn’t come home or came home in the early morning hours, but it was only a couple of times and honestly that had been our norm when we were going out together. She told me that she was just excited and letting off some steam. At the time I really didn’t think much of it. The pregnancy was a wonderful experience for me, I loved being pregnant. Things were good when Colin was born, at least I thought they were. I was so happy being a mom but apparently she was not. She came to me when Colin was six months old. She informed me that it wasn’t enough for her. Me, our son, our family it wasn’t enough. She left that night and I haven’t seen or heard from her since. I was in a fog for months. No one in the world existed except me and Colin. Then the real horror started. We had started the process of Jodi adopting Colin just after he was born. I had been such a mess that it had not even crossed my mind. The final court date rolled around and I became livid. There was no way I was allowing her the honor of being a parent to my son. I stopped the adoption, and she was never granted and parental rights to Colin. Once the reality of the fact that I was alone with my son forever, that the family that I had planned would never be more than a dream I became depressed. I kept hearing over and over in my head her telling me that I was not enough for her. I couldn’t give her what she needed. That settled in my head and did some serious damage. All in all it took me about 2 years to get back on my feet and put together some semblance of a life for Colin and myself and that’s where I still am today. Single Mom and not enough…” Bette trailed off as the tears flowed freely. She looked to Tina to see her reaction, her eyes gave her away, there was anger, sadness, hurt, and hope. When Tina spoke I heard all of those emotions.

“Oh Bette… I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I can’t believe she just left you and the baby. If you ask me she needs a good ol’ fashion southern ass whoopin’, and I just may be the woman to give it to her if she ever shows her face again.” Tina took Bette by the hands “Bette I want you to listen to me Ok… you are a beautiful woman… a wonderful mother… and I can’t picture you as anything other than an utterly amazing and giving lover. If that wasn’t enough for her then it is her loss and I can promise you she will spend a lonely miserable life searching for enough!” There was so much more Tina wanted to say, but she was not sure where it was all coming from and Bette was already appearing to be on overload. “Bette honey are you Ok?”

“I’m not sure…. I’m mixed up right now.”

“Oh” Tina tried to hide her disappointment but it didn’t work.

“Oh T.. it’s not that… please let me explain… T it’s just for years I have had it stuck in my head that I’m not enough, that no one will love me the way that I long to be loved.” Bette took Tina’s hand. “T I don’t know how… but Tina in this short amount of time you have made me question that in my heart, you have given me hope. Tina I know this all sounds crazy…” Tina cut her off.

“Follow your heart Bette…. remember?”

All Bette could do to respond was smile as she wondered if this could really be real…

 TBC…