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    neon

    Story written on June 6, 2009 by ashtuck.
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 2203
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=73598
    Author Notes:

    Helena faces the dealer.

    Bette:

     

    Working is the only thing I’ve ever done and the only thing I’ve ever really been any good at.  It’s the only thing my parents have to be proud of and the only thing they talk about when they talk about me.

     

    “She’s kind of a big deal at her job.”

     

    That’s all they can say, because they’re not proud of anything else.  Oh well.

     

    My mind is swimming today.  I didn’t get nearly enough sleep, but more importantly, I couldn’t stop think about Helena and what she said, or what we said.

     

    I tell Tina I love her all the time.  But it never felt so real.  I close my eyes and all I can see is Helena’s cherry lips, telling me she loves me.

     

    I say that I love her too, not only because it’s true, but also because I hope that if she knows that I love her she may not need drugs.  But she’s not stupid.  Who would love someone who they cannot call their own.

     

    I love Helena because she’s my soul mate.

     

    I love Tina because it’s easy.

     

    Tina makes love simple.  She kisses simple, she likes her sex simple, and our relationship is very simple.  I’m her girlfriend and she’s mine.

     

    With Helena, everything is complicated.  Sex with her is complicated.  We have to hide in places where no one will find us, make lies to cover where we are or where we’ve been.  Her kisses are full of double meanings.  Our relationship is both non-existent and the most real thing I’ve ever known.

     

    It would make more sense if I just packed up, took Tina and moved away.  I know that I can be happy with Tina, but its not that simple; I love Helena too much to just leave.

     

    Helena:

     

    I want to call my mother.

     

    I want to call Bette.

     

    I can’t call anyone.

     

    I refuse to drag Bette into this mess.  She’s already further into my drama than I’d like her to be.  And my mother can’t know anything about this.

     

    I don’t even know where to get this money.  So I ignore it.

     

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    Comments

    2. Ash, the ending is so scary and yet so real and true in many of these situations that Helena is in, but I don’t think that Bette can be there to save her in time, but I hope so,,,,,maybe this can be a wake-up call for Helena to finally stop taking drugs as ugly as it sounds! Great chapter!

    4. My Beautiful Ash… You completely blow me away with the reality of your words… they vibrate such painful and sincere emotions that sends my mind flashing and memories surface… you are completely and absolutely amazing… thank you for coming back… thank you for coming into my life my friend, Love you completely, JC

    5. This is the same thing that happen to my cousin….now she’s in a wheelchair and the bad part about it she’s still using. If Helena really loves Bette she wouldn’t have called her. If anything bad happens Bette will probably be the one to get hurt and Helena will never forgive herself. It’s time for Helena to get her shit together. Great update.

    8. Gosh I hope Bette or someone else will show up to get that dirty bastard of Helena but Im afraid it’s going to be too late. I wish Bette would call Mrs P and they’d put Hel’s in rehab. Great update Ash

    9. i can’t tell you how much i love this story! you’re one of the few belena writers that actually makes me root for bette and helena as opposed to bette and tina – which isn’t easy! pps

    11. Ash – you really left us hanging there. I don’t know who i feel worse for, Bette, Helena or Tina. Bette is in love w/ a woman who is in love w/ drugs and in love w/ another woman who can’t share her love for Bette w/ the world. Sure Bette is lying to Tina but i don’t think she’s doing it to be cruel – she really wants to keep her safe but there is a part of Bette that’s addicted to Helena. I really hope Bette can get to Helena before the unthinkable happens. As much as Bette doesn’t want to enable Helena’s habit I’m sure she’d come up w/ the $80k to pay her girls debt and keep her safe. PPS! I’m dying to know how Bette, Helena and Tina all get out of their current situations.

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