Bette’s Point Of View

I sit there. Still just sit there. Not exactly knowing what to say, my thoughts finding a comfortable position in my head.

“Bette….”

I look at her. I look at her with shame in my eyes. Not shame for her, but shame for myself.

I’m ashamed of myself.

Why does it seem like every time I find something or someone good for me, I throw it away?

Still sitting there, I opened my mouth to say something, but still my thoughts rest in my mind.

“Bette, please…. What is it?”

Finally I sigh and start to speak, “Jodi….. I….” I start to sweat. I’m such a fucking heartbreaker. Pausing, I take a moment to look at her, really look at her.

She’s beautiful.

“Jodi…. I…” I start again, “I don’t think this is working…” Well there it is. I said it. I honestly didn’t want it to come out that way. Hearing myself say it sounded so harsh and cruel.

She stares back at me in silence. Oh God, why isn’t she saying anything, please say something

My eyes find their way to the floor. This way, I don’t have to look at her. I don’t have to look at the hurt expression on her face. I won’t have to look at her tears.

I take a deep breath as I try to hold back my own tears.

“What’s not working?”, she finally replies.

I look up at her against my will with tears starting to accumulate in my eyes.

“Bette, NO, no no no no no! Bette you can not do this to me!” she began yelling.

“Jodi, listen to me, please?”

“What do you have to say for yourself, Bette? Huh? Are you going to tell me “It’s not you, it’s me” or are you just going to tell me the truth and say that you’re a heartbreaker and you have to destroy everything that’s good for you?”

She knows me so well.

“Jodi, this just isn’t working. You’re a far too complicated person for me and I just can’t-”

“You can’t what? You can’t handle it? Is that what you’re going to say?”