“What, Dylan?  What information could he possibly have that would make you do what you did?”

She’s looking at me like I’m insane.  Can she really not possibly know what the information could be?  All those women and all their accusations that turned into sexual harassment suits against her.  Does she really not remember?

Maybe none of them ever really mattered to her. She had her mother to bail her out of trouble. Peggy Peabody and her millions were always there to take care of them for her.  She always had her rich mother and her rich, mother’s money to bail her out.  She always had her mother.

“Well, Dylan?  Are you going to answer me?  Because if your not, then I’m more than willing to be done with this night and our conversation.  I think you should leave.”

Leave?  Is that what she just said, she thinks I should leave.  Oh, hell no, Helena!  I’m not leaving!  I came here for a reason, one reason.  And I’m going to be heard whether you want to hear it or not.  I’m going to tell you and there’s no way in HELL I’m leaving before I do.

“Your therapist!  Your art professor!  Your mother’s secretary!  Christ, Helena, even JUNE YING AND WILSON’S NANNY!  THERE WERE SO MANY!"  Oh shit. I couldn’t stop myself. It just came out. This is not how I wanted to do this. Oh shit.

As I stare back at her I know I should apologize for my outburst. I have to apologize.  “I’m sorry….”  The look on her face stops me from saying anything else.  I see it slowly change from a look of questioning my sanity to a look of complete shock.

Still looking at me, she reaches her hands behind her setting them down on the arms of the chair.  Her arms are shaking as she struggles to rest her body down to sit. Her lips are moving but no sound is coming from them.  Her nostrils begin flaring every time she takes a breath but not because she’s angry. She looks pale, like she might pass out. The long and hard breaths she’s taking are just trying to get more oxygen to her brain.

I begin to panic, she might pass out.  Rushing to her I yell her name.  “Helena?”

Her only reaction is to bring her right hand up to cover her mouth, then she lowers her head down to her lap. Hearing her labored breaths, I kneel down to her and look at her face. I can see the tears starting to form in her eyes. She’s still so pale.

“Helena?"  This isn’t how I wanted to do this.  Fuck!!!! She loves me and look what I do to her.  "I’m sorry. I don’t blame you. It was my fault, all my fault.  Please, Helena, don’t cry, just breath.  Okay, deep breaths, okay. I’m sorry, Helena.”